How I Deal With Financial Jealousy

I have a confession to make—sometimes I get jealous of how much money strangers on the internet have. I’m in a pretty good financial place right now. But I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when I read a blog post about someone’s high net worth, especially if they’re around my age.

Hearing how much money people with large salaries are able to save makes me feel behind financially. Although I make decent money as a freelance writer, my income is nothing compared to a software developer in Silicon Valley or a lawyer. I simply don’t earn enough to save $100K per year or FIRE in a decade like high-earners.

It’s tough to know some people will achieve the same financial goals I’m working toward in half as much time. But dwelling on those feelings just made me miserable, so I had to learn how to get past them. Here’s how I deal with financial jealousy so I can enjoy the journey and celebrate the financial progress I’ve made so far.

Avoid Your Triggers

Financial jealousy usually has a trigger. For me, it’s reading net worth updates on FIRE blogs and forums. Hearing about other people’s big financial wins often causes me to fall into the comparison trap.

You’d think reading about someone else’s progress would be motivating, and sometimes it is. But most of the time I end up feeling inadequate after reading net worth updates because it seems like everyone is way ahead of me.

Then I start questioning my choices and wondering if I’m doing enough. I’m happy as a freelance writer and enjoy my work-life balance. But sometimes I wonder if I should be hustling harder to achieve my goals faster and build more financial security.

To avoid going down that mental rabbit hole, I try to stay away from savings progress posts and just read the FIRE content I find beneficial, like money-saving hacks. You don’t have to read every post your favorite personal finance bloggers upload if you don’t think they’ll be helpful for you.

I also have extended family members who are multi-millionaires. It can be tough to hear them talk about buying their second or third vacation home when I’m working hard to pay off my first (and only) house. In all honesty, I still don’t have a great strategy for dealing with this. Usually, I try to politely change the subject and spend less time around family members who seem to enjoy bragging.

Cultivate Gratitude

One of the best antidotes to comparison is gratitude. Instead of focusing on what others have and what I lack, I try to be thankful for the financial position I’m in. More than half of all Americans can’t afford a $1,000 emergency. I’m fortunate and privileged just to have an emergency fund, let alone a house I own and retirement savings. I’m also lucky to have a wonderful group of family and friends.

When I zoom out and look at everything I have, it seems silly to fixate on the financial goals I haven’t achieved yet.

Don’t Be Ashamed of Your Feelings

The fact that you’re experiencing financial jealousy can make you feel like a bad person. After all, shouldn’t you be genuinely happy for your friend or relative when they buy a home or reach a big financial milestone?

It’s important to realize that everyone feels money envy at one point or another. I used to get mad at myself whenever I felt jealous of a relative’s financial situation, but that didn’t make the envy go away. Beating myself up over it just made me feel worse. So go easy on yourself if you’re struggling with financial jealousy.

Your feelings are valid, but they don’t tell the whole story. There are probably lots of things in your life you can be grateful for. At the end of the day, you’ll feel happier if you focus on the blessings you’ve been given instead of dwelling on the belongings or resources you don’t have.

Don’t Catastrophize

The worst part of my financial jealousy is my tendency to catastrophize. When I hear about my relative’s successful rental portfolio, it makes me feel like I’ll never achieve my goal of becoming a landlord. But financial success isn’t a zero-sum game. There’s plenty of prosperity and opportunity to go around, especially in an upwardly mobile country like America.

It may take me a while to achieve my dreams of owning several rental properties, but I’ll get there. That’s what I remind myself of when my financial jealousy takes over and blinds me from my progress.

Ask For Advice

If someone I know has met a financial goal I’m working towards, I like to ask them how they did it. I’ve had some great conversations and learned helpful tips and tricks that way. People are usually happy to give you advice if they hear you’re trying to follow in their footsteps.

From these conversations, I’ve also learned that everyone has to work hard to meet financial milestones. From the outside looking in, it can seem like your friends and family members achieve their goals effortlessly while you struggle. This can spark some serious feelings of envy.

But I’ve discovered that’s rarely the case. Almost everyone has to delay gratification and make sacrifices to get what they want. So if you’re persistent and stay committed to your financial goals, you’ll come out on top eventually.

Have you ever felt financial jealousy? How do you deal with it? Share your tips in the comments section below!

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Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance and lifestyle writer. When she’s not busy writing about her favorite money saving hacks or tinkering with her budget spreadsheets, she likes to travel, garden, and cook healthy vegetarian meals.