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The problem with being budget minded is other people.

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  • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

    Originally posted by tabbycat31
    I have a friend who is driving me nuts about $$$ right now. In fact she just called and I told her that if she wants to chat, to call me after 9 when the minutes are free. Her response was "oops I forgot you actually have to pay for your phone" This girl has never worked more than 10 hours a week in her life and complains about that constantly.

    I was 19 when I bought my car. My sister's friend told me "why are you buying that piece of ****....... my parents will get me a much nicer car" I had to refrain from punching her.

    Guess what! Even though it is a nuisance to have to pay for those minutes you certainly know who is the better off in the long run.

    Tabby, you are on the right track. Enjoy your car and enjoy being in charge of your money. Don't be too hard on your friend though, one day you might get a chance to encourage her.

    Enjoy Your Money
    The Budget Man


    Budgets that suit you

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    • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

      Rob, we had a neighbor like yours. He came to live with grandma at age 16 and just moved out this year at age 26. He never had a job. She got him a car which he smashed, then another, which he smashed up and his last one was all dented up. He never washed his car either. She had to hire someone to cut the grass for 10years and he would not do one thing to help out. I am so glad they moved away, I hated to watch her being taken advantage of. She paid for everything.

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      • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

        Originally posted by Ima saver
        I have been on 14 cruises, own two vettes and a street rod, but still wash those aluminum pans and keep my hot water heater turned off all day long.
        Yep - Ima you figured it out long ago. The reason you can own all those things and go those places is because 1) hubbie works hard and 2)you work hard to save in other ways to pay for them!! Why don't other people see that?

        $$'s control you = chaos & deprivation
        you control $$'s = peace & prosperity

        My brother still practices the physical envelope budget method. We were taught this as children at home. I practiced it for a while myself but was a borrower from one envelope to the other. Once I got my spending habits under control then I was able to STICK to the Spending Plan!

        Having my 'cyber envelopes' over at ING helps me w/the borrowing from one envelope because I've gone over in another category. It took me awhile to fine tune my methods of operation. I don't do the borrowing from other categories anymore. I control what I spend and carefully plan for the unexpected so that way I don't have to come up short in any one category!

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        • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

          You definately have to learn never never to borrow. I might, once or twice a year, but just a small sum. I gave my dh an extra $20 last week, I made a note on the envelope saying IOU $20> Then it got paid back first thing on payday. I really could have just given him the $20 out of the misc. envelope. I seldom use it, so it builds up. I use the physcial method too, it just so habit forming for me. Maybe if I knew something about computers, I would try keeping track of it that way. (but this way, it doesn't matter if the computer quits or the power is off, I got the good old physical envelopes.
          That is one reason I have never had an atm or debit card.

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          • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

            Originally posted by Ima saver
            Maybe if I knew something about computers, I would try keeping track of it that way. (but this way, it doesn't matter if the computer quits or the power is off, I got the good old physical envelopes.
            That is one reason I have never had an atm or debit card.
            This scenario of elect/computer down is covered in our plan by cushion in ckbk & lg. amount of petty cash. Yeah we forfeit some interest but if needed I can grab and run - it became more important to me when my Dad was sick - I needed cash and fast in the middle of the night. Didn't want to have to remember ATM codes etc in the middle of an emergency!

            Plus the petty cash is for the very rare times when the cook wants a call-in pizza and doesn't have the cash on hand in her wallet! I don't normally keep cash on me as I have a bad habit of spending it!!

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            • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

              It is very handy to have cash on hand for emergencies.

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              • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                I am 35 and it would never occur to me to ask my parents for money to bail me out of a financial mess. I'd rather live in my car than ask family for money.

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                • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                  Even though DH and I make considerably more than the rest of our family, no one really asks for money. We are very frugal, but when it comes to family we are not cheap. I think that is the reason our family does not feel that we "owe" them. We show them that we appreciate their contribution to our success.

                  My BIL, who is starting a teaching career, is staying with us now for less than 1/16th our mortgage payment. When my BIL moved in, we bought a futon for his room which was formerly our den. Since we had displaced our den furniture, we gave it to my aunt to use temporarily. (She is having her home remodeled so she will not buy new furniture until the remodel is complete.)

                  When DH and I became engaged, we told both of our parents that we were paying. Anything that they gave as a gift, monetary or not, was appreciated but we did not expect or count on them to pay for anything.

                  Family is so much more important than money. That is one of the reasons that we work hard and try to save, so we don't become a financial burden to either one of our families.

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                  • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                    Boy have I been there. I'm one of 6 kids and all my siblings (except maybe one) think DH and I are made of money. We do well and we travel a lot (not extravagant trips, but somewhat frequent). Dh works long hard hours, and I have certainly worked hard too. Right now my job is saving $$ where we can and preparing the house for sale so we can get a good price. Once we move, I will be employed once again.

                    They think b/c DH makes good $$ then I should be happy staying at home not working. Then they also think I'm lazy and spoiled to stay home and not work. And they don't understand when I make comments (I try not to make them at all) like, no, I just won't spend that much for such and such.... But I don't have a starbucks habit and I don't need a fancy car. I need peace and I have been in debt and that's a bondage I never want again.

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                    • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                      Originally posted by Jewelfine
                      If you lend money to family or friends consider it a gift and if they pay it back it is a bonus! - We dont' lend to family or friends - causes too much strife - they think that our conditions are too much - but it's our hard earned money - so it's easier not to lend the money :-)
                      I was talking with a lady about this very issue last week. She had leant money to her sister and now they are hardly speaking.

                      She told me that her husband has now laid down the law. "If she is ever to lend to her family it must be considered a gift!" He's tired of the stress it is causing.

                      I took it as a good warning too!

                      Enjoy Your Money
                      The Budget Man


                      Ways to budget for all situations

                      Comment


                      • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                        I have a girlfriend that gets mad at me, when I say I can't afford something, then she says, you certainly can. I guess I need to say, I choose not to spend my money on things I think cost too much!

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                        • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                          Originally posted by Ima saver
                          I have a girlfriend that gets mad at me, when I say I can't afford something, then she says, you certainly can. I guess I need to say, I choose not to spend my money on things I think cost too much!
                          I agree. We tend to say "can't afford" when what we really mean is "why the heck would I want to spend my money on that?"
                          Steve

                          * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                          * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                          * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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                          • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                            Originally posted by Ima saver
                            I have a girlfriend that gets mad at me, when I say I can't afford something, then she says, you certainly can. I guess I need to say, I choose not to spend my money on things I think cost too much!
                            My brother says this to me all the time. I always reply with, "Actually, I can't. I can't afford to waste money on things I don't value or I don't find productive." This shuts him up because it implies: "I think you're about to waste your money on something stupid and I don't want to participate by wasting my money."

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                            • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                              Hey, B4freedom, I like that! Your reply of "I can't afford to waste money." is excellent!

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                              • Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

                                Originally posted by The Budget Man
                                I was talking with a lady about this very issue last week. She had leant money to her sister and now they are hardly speaking.

                                She told me that her husband has now laid down the law. "If she is ever to lend to her family it must be considered a gift!" He's tired of the stress it is causing.

                                I took it as a good warning too!

                                Enjoy Your Money
                                The Budget Man


                                Ways to budget for all situations

                                Although I don't disagree with this woman's husband. I'd like to ask him, "So when does the giving stop."

                                If you start "giving" your money away to irresponsible family and friends when they need it will not decrease your level of stress. They will suck you dry and then tell you "Nobody told you to do that." People by nature are ungrateful. Many are envious. Even blood.

                                If his wife asked for the money to be returned then they too "need" their money.

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