The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I am very open, I don't mind discussing my finances with any one. I have one girl friend that I have tried to council to save her money for over 30 years. She has never listened to me. If I say, I can't afford it, she will say, Oh yes you can, you have plenty of money. I guess I should say, I can afford it but I don't chose to spend my money on this. (Maybe the reason I have plenty of money is because I haven't wasted all of it on stuff I really don't need)

[sweeps]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I've tried some different techniques, and I tend to get the best results by using the goal-oriented approach. Most people will respect the fact that you're not spending money on something frivolous because you're saving it instead for a specific future goal. Like paying off your student loans by next February. Or saving up for a big vacation next summer. Or retiring at the age of 52.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I do have some goals too, and I have canisters with pictures of my goals on them. One, to pay off some mountain view land, two to pay off my car and three, save for retirement!

[JoyJoy]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I just don't discuss my finances with others. And, if they are talking about theirs, I just listen. If someone asks me why I don't buy this or that, I just say I don't want it which is the truth. I think saying "I can't afford it" is kind of annoying. And, if you say it, someone will then try to point out why you can afford it.
The best way to respond is just listen. You aren't going to change anyone else's financial habits. Most people don't want to change and aren't going to listen to any suggestions on how to live a more frugal lifestyle.

You're a very wise person cschin4. Most people don't want to change, that's true; but there are those who do want to change and when they come forth with their dilemma, they are immediately judged for their past actions. I listened to a friend and she stated she needed help with her finances. She asked me about my method and I told her mine. She had another way she wanted to do hers and I listened and didn't pass judgment. I just referred her to this forum and another one lol for other opinions!! Why she ran up her credit was not my business. ( I did know that she lost family members one after another and some tragically. )

Money, religion and politics I just listen also, because no two people see things exactly alike. I do take issue with those who feel they have made it and look down on others who feel they haven't got a snowball in h*** chance of making it too......

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I just don't discuss my finances with others. And, if they are talking about theirs, I just listen. If someone asks me why I don't buy this or that, I just say I don't want it which is the truth. I think saying "I can't afford it" is kind of annoying. And, if you say it, someone will then try to point out why you can afford it.
The best way to respond is just listen. You aren't going to change anyone else's financial habits. Most people don't want to change and aren't going to listen to any suggestions on how to live a more frugal lifestyle.

I like the idea of saying "I don't want it." This removes people's ability to argue or put pressure on. There's another thread that is talking about frugal verses cheap. This comment would also fit there.

I hope you don't mind but I'm going to take up using your statement.

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

https://www.PersonalityBudgeting.com

when you need a budget that works

[cschin4]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Another reason I don't discuss my finances openly is that it can set up some problems between people. If you are doing well and are talking about how well you are doing, how much you make, etc, then others who are not doing so well may view it as bragging even if you really are only trying to give good advice.
And, if you aren't doing so well and are discussing it, then you will probably get alot of unwanted advice!

[jmjj215]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

We've been in some awfully awkward situations b/c someone knew a bit too much about our personal finances. They tell someone else, that person tells someone else, pretty soon the truth is lost somewhere in there... it's just bad all around. I prefer to keep my hand close.

[lrjohnson]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

cschin4 said

Another reason I don't discuss my finances openly is that it can set up some problems between people. If you are doing well and are talking about how well you are doing, how much you make, etc, then others who are not doing so well may view it as bragging even if you really are only trying to give good advice.

I do not disclose how much I have coming in or how much I have in the bank.

But on the flip side, I have no problems disclosing how much, or usually, how little, I pay for things. I have no problems exposing my frugality.

I look at it like this: someone else may not have had the right combination of circumstances to earn what I am earning (it's not huge, but in my County it's not bad). However, anyone can choose to do some frugal things-anyone can buy bulk, whole, non-convenience foods, choose not to have full cable, shop at thrift sores, etc.

(A funny part of being in civil service is that pay is dictated by the county and union negotiations, so frankly anyone knowing my title can look up the range of what I am making.)

So whether I talk about my finances with others depends on how you define finances. Income no, outgo yes.

I think a benefit of some people inferring I have decent income and seeing me do lots of frugal things is that it plants in their minds that frugality is not only for people scraping buy, it's a tool that anyone can use to improve the quality of their life. I know at least a couple of people at work have added some simple frugal things to their routine (the bread thrift store, Freecycle) even though they don't "need" to.

[cschin4]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Have you ever noticed though that when you tell someone how much you paid for something, someone will tell you they could have got a better deal!

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I don't mind discussing my finances because I want to encourage young people to save. I want to be an example that you do not have to make a lot of money, to become very comfortable if you don't spend everything you have on "wants"

[jmjj215]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Have you ever noticed though that when you tell someone how much you paid for something, someone will tell you they could have got a better deal!

I guess that just proves that talk is cheap.

Get it?

[getforfree]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Have you ever noticed though that when you tell someone how much you paid for something, someone will tell you they could have got a better deal!

I usually do that when some one tells me that they bought something and they paid only this much, if I had a better deal on the same item, I would tell them. Because the game is to buy what you need "on time", when it's at the lowest price possible, not when you ran out and need it today.

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

The interesting thing about people telling me how good a deal they got on something is that they rarely (IF EVER) tell me when they didn't get a good deal.

It's human nature to tell of successes but we are quiet when it comes to the other deals.

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

https://www.PersonalityBudgeting.com

when the budget needs to work

[lrjohnson]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Sharing frugality has the possibility of being a lot more than sharing good deals.

People know of the things I've chosen not to have, such as basic cable (I have the 10 channel guy). People know I hang my laindry, wash ziplocs. People know I shop thrift stores and don't buy convenience foods. People know I like to think about big purchases a long time. People know I often decide not to buy something (or do something, like go out to a movie) and I say "I don't want to spend my money on that" instead of "I can't fford it." People know I'm able to do my hobby of traveling without even touching my savings.

A lot of times when people are talking about good deals, I find it somewhat funny because it's about things I don't have. Cell phones, cell phone contracts, vehicle payments, credit card interest rates, or even just new items I'd rarely buy new. $19.99 for a sweater is very much not a good deal to me, but other people will discuss getting an item at 75% off as if it was a deal. 75% of 80 bucks is too much for me.

[ummabdullah]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I think if the sweater is something you need and good quality than it is a good deal.. cuz it will last for years..

but after visiting places like pakistan, and syria.. and egypt.. I am not very happy with the quality of clothes in the US or UK and feel that they do not last very long..