The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

You are right, she is pretty selfish. My MIL was in the hospital for 3 weeks and they never offered to take my FIL to the hospital. He is 85 and has trouble driving at night.
One of the daughters competes in horse shows, but do they really need 6? One is a minuture and too small to ride. (the two kids are too big)

[boomeyers]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

On the flip side of what JoyJoy said, what burns my butt is the people who spend like crazy and then get money without working for it. When it happens to someone that NEEDS it, you think great! But we have friends that are constantly spending, getting in debt, and then they win gambling or receive an inheritance. Then they like to brag about how little debt they have and go rack it back up again. Oh, what we could have done with that money! It's hard not to be jealous when we are squeezing those pennies!

[PrincessPerky]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Well, two of my kids are step-children and they are teenagers. That means that everyone is stupid except them. Also, they literally can not understand that things cost money and money is not free. Public schools do not teach finance. I think budgetting should be taught in first grade through college and that budgetting should be required the same as math or English.


Sound like you need different friends.

Oh well my kids don't go to public school, never will That way I don't have to worry about what they did or did not teach them, I just have to supply all the books and information my kids ask for plus a few minimums.

Which is where the friends come in. They might not know how to budget, but she is good with gardening Is a fair trade, when I am not cranky (which having the CC paid off is leaving me in a pretty good mood!)

[wwjdmsl]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I would say that even though I love my wife more than anything, she is the same way. She says she is on the same page as me about our budget and getting out of debt but she's not. I sometimes feel that she has to keep up with her family to impress them somehow.

And you can forget about kids being a part of the plan. Kids are nothing but money sucking, ungrateful, little monsters. lol

And yes, I have three and I still say that!

LOL about the kids...this had me ROFL !

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I go to parties every month or so with some really rich people. (bank ceo's, head of ga. trade and tourism, etc.) I can't say anything about the men, but the women don't have a clue about saving money. I was telling one woman about turning off the hot water heater all the time, and she didn't even know it could be turned off!!! (You may wonder why we get invited to these parties since we obviously don't make the big bucks these guys do, but my husband built their houses and became their friend)

[Thrifty Ray]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Unless you have one...it is REALLY difficult, if not impossible to understand a frugal mind.

Why would someone turn off a hot water heater when it runs just fine the way it is....

Why would someone use coupons...they take time and I don't have time because I work so much.

Why won't you go out to dinner...it's fun! and besides who wants to cook and clean anyways..?

What, you hang your laundry? I dont have time to do that when I can just toss it in the dryer...

I KNOW you have money in your savings account so dont say "I cant afford it" or "I dont have the money"....

What are you saving for...the world could end tomorrow...Live for TODAY!

and on and on.... Unless you have a frugal mind...it really doesn't make any sense...

[cbmeeks]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Every once in a while, I will say to my girlfriend, "we can't afford that right now" She always jumps all over me and says, you have the money, you can afford it!! She thinks I should buy anything I want, go on vacations on the time, etc.
I can't get it thru her head that I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes, or trips, or whatever!!
I have tried to help her budget, but she thinks that my ideas are crazy!

This is typical. She thinks you should buy everything you want because that is what SHE would do. Which is probably why she has no money. No real money anyway.

I had a customer that was a doctor. It was him and his wife and one kid (college age). He lived in a house that was so big, it had an elevator. I kid you not. Anyway, I was at one of his offices and my job was simple. Create an internet dial-up account on one of his computers. Total cost, $19.95+tax.

He handed me a CC. It was rejected because of insufficient funds. He handed me another. Rejected. Finally the third one worked.

Here I was, making no money and I literally had more in my pocket than him.

He is like your friend would be if she made a huge salary.

cbmeeks

[StressLess]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

FrugalFarmWife said, "If it weren't for like minded internet friends I'd have gone nuts a long time ago!" That about sums it up for me.

Someone commented on my blog that I could shop with a friend at Goodwill, have a friend help with coloring my hair or with home improvements. Sad to say, largely for economic reasons, we have very few friends at the moment. Certainly none that would go for these activities!

The friends and acquaintances we had back in our college years, and people we've currently met at work, all seem to either have or spend a lot more than we do. Even most of our relatives.

We'd go to a party where people were discussing their latest expensive vacations, or which tanning salon was the best, and we'd have nothing to say. We'd try to start a conversation about something like books, and we'd get looked at like we had extra noses. My SIL keeps trying to arrange things like $100 trips to a baseball park, or family cruises.

In a way, it's almost like we're still living the "poor student" lifestyle but everyone else moved on.

Edit: The point I'm trying to make, which isn't coming out very well is--it's not just the pressure to have the same things as other people. It's also about not being able to socialize with other people the way they want to. Most people expect to DO things with friends besides sit around and talk, like going to concerts or movies or out to dinner. If you keep saying no, because you don't want to spend the money, you are apt to get dropped as a friend. You just aren't fun anymore!

I'm hoping someday we can connect with some folks who have lifestyles closer to ours--maybe through volunteering, or a simplicity circle, or freecycle, or something.

[PauletteGoddard]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Do you find it challenging to deal with family, friends, coworkers, or the world in general when you’re being budget minded and they aren’t?

Yes. I'm perturbed that my credit card issuer, after seven years of ontime payments always above the minimum, has determined I am a poor risk. My net worth is eleven times as much (positive! it's a positive balance!) as it was when I applied for a card from it. I can pay off debt with no problem, and my salary has doubled since then. However, my credit card issuer is reducing my grace period and introducing fees and universal default pricing. I am wondering what it is I've done wrong. I am not using more than a third of my available credit: in fact I am using 11%. I have not declared bankruptcy and have made all my payments on time.

I'm thinking maybe my credit card issuer doesn't want me to borrow from them anymore.
It may be that the credit card issuer wants money from ME because it has irresponsibly lent money to people who cannot pay them back, or is hurting from the bankruptcy law they pushed for.

It may be that at some point I will need to buy a new roof, or change the wiring, or put in new windows before I have the money to pay for it. An emergency might happen. Is it unrealistic to expect that my ability to pay should grant me better rates and terms than those I received seven years ago? If so, why?

[cbmeeks]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Yes. I'm perturbed that my credit card issuer, after seven years of ontime payments always above the minimum, has determined I am a poor risk. My net worth is eleven times as much (positive! it's a positive balance!) as it was when I applied for a card from it. I can pay off debt with no problem, and my salary has doubled since then. However, my credit card issuer is reducing my grace period and introducing fees and universal default pricing. I am wondering what it is I've done wrong. I am not using more than a third of my available credit: in fact I am using 11%. I have not declared bankruptcy and have made all my payments on time.

I'm thinking maybe my credit card issuer doesn't want me to borrow from them anymore.
It may be that the credit card issuer wants money from ME because it has irresponsibly lent money to people who cannot pay them back, or is hurting from the bankruptcy law they pushed for.

It may be that at some point I will need to buy a new roof, or change the wiring, or put in new windows before I have the money to pay for it. An emergency might happen. Is it unrealistic to expect that my ability to pay should grant me better rates and terms than those I received seven years ago? If so, why?

What did you do wrong? You let your feelings get hurt because some giant CC company doesn't like you. Why don't they like you? Because you paid them on time and more than the minimums. They hate people like you.

If you can "easily" pay them back then why in the world do you have a CC????? Cut it up. Quit getting upset because they don't like you. Move on and eliminate debt 100%. Then they really won't like you. :-)

CC companies want you to pay the minimum forever. Screw them.

Why do you need them???

cbmeeks

[PauletteGoddard]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I suppose I use a credit card because I do dumb things like buy gifts for faraway friends that are dear to me, buy gas when the gas station is unstaffed, make reservations for hotels and car rentals. I use it as a convenience to me, and the credit card company makes a small amount on the purchase even when I pay in full.

If you can "easily" pay them back then why in the world do you have a CC????? Cut it up.

I bet George Soros, Steve Ballmer, Oprah Winfrey have credit cards too. Not everyone who has a credit card is carrying a balance.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I know what you mean about having no friends who are like minded as you. At all these parties I go to, they spend all their time talking about going to greece or on some 30 day cruise! I have spent 30 years trying to get my best friend to start saving money and quit spending.
When her husband had a heart attack, her church bailed her out and paid her rent, food, utilities, car, everything for months at a time, because she had no money at all. No emergency fund at all. Her phone bill was $200 a month, and the church paid it every month!! My long distance bill is usually about $4 a month, and my dh calls his father every week.

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

It's a challenge when other people don't see money in the same way we do. We work hard to clear a debt or are very careful with our credit card. Then we see others around us treating money differently.

This shouldn't surprise us. We like different clothes, movies food etc, yet when it comes to money we expect everyone to see it the same way we do.

The day I realised I saw money differently to the way my wife saw it was a revelation!

I was stunned at the way she could budget in the "traditional" sense of the word. Me, well I'm so focused on projects that I'm always too busy for a traditional budget.

The exciting part is that we each have a great financial personality. When we know the strengths of our personality, we can budget happily. The first thing our friends and relatives need is to discover their unique "Financial Personality" and how to budget in a way that suits them.

Enjoy Your Money

[veronak]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

It kills me that people tend to think public schools are soooo bad, in some cases yes, However...I worked a a private school one to the top ones in my stated...which had more kids on drugs than the public school I worked at.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

FrugalFarmWife said, "If it weren't for like minded internet friends I'd have gone nuts a long time ago!" That about sums it up for me.

Someone commented on my blog that I could shop with a friend at Goodwill, have a friend help with coloring my hair or with home improvements. Sad to say, largely for economic reasons, we have very few friends at the moment. Certainly none that would go for these activities!

The friends and acquaintances we had back in our college years, and people we've currently met at work, all seem to either have or spend a lot more than we do. Even most of our relatives.

We'd go to a party where people were discussing their latest expensive vacations, or which tanning salon was the best, and we'd have nothing to say. We'd try to start a conversation about something like books, and we'd get looked at like we had extra noses. My SIL keeps trying to arrange things like $100 trips to a baseball park, or family cruises.

In a way, it's almost like we're still living the "poor student" lifestyle but everyone else moved on.

Edit: The point I'm trying to make, which isn't coming out very well is--it's not just the pressure to have the same things as other people. It's also about not being able to socialize with other people the way they want to. Most people expect to DO things with friends besides sit around and talk, like going to concerts or movies or out to dinner. If you keep saying no, because you don't want to spend the money, you are apt to get dropped as a friend. You just aren't fun anymore!

I'm hoping someday we can connect with some folks who have lifestyles closer to ours--maybe through volunteering, or a simplicity circle, or freecycle, or something.

I have that problem too, but I have found that slowly you can find a common ground, just don't talk about money! Kids usually works, though don't talk about education! sometimes TV shows works if I have seen them, DH is better he can read up on a show at work and know enough to carry on a conversation. I well fortunatly I am a loner by nature or I would go crazy!