The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[b4freedom]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

My 27 year old brother visited me the other day for the first time in years. He and his wife live in Louisiana. I'm on the east coast. He told me that I had a nice house. I thanked him and said, “You know, you can have a nice house too. I don't make much more then you do.” I told him how we saved and sacrificed for a couple of years in order to get the house and build up a safety net. We worked extra jobs. I clipped coupons. Etc. He said that money was tight and he needed to borrow $400 to get home. He eventually asked if he could borrow it from me. I told him no. The next day my mom told me that he borrowed $500. She said he was mad at me for being so cheap. Eventually, I found out that he used the borrowed money to buy an XBOX 360.

[greedy4chips]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

What a phenomenal thread!

Money is such a tough conversation topic. Why is it taboo to speak about your income, expenses, and budgeting?

I recently went back to school due to back surgery and my wife had to go back to work so we could have benefits.

I love listening to the kids and their spending habits and offer up suggestions on a better way to run their financial life. I wish someone had the guts to do that when I was growing up! Not even my parents uttered words about budgeting properly. Now I know why. Most don't know how to do it.


I love to listen to a nation wide financial talk show called the Dave Ramsey show. I tell everyone I know to listen for 3hrs per day for 1 week and if he doesn't sink in, no one ever will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rusty@saving]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[QUOTE=Ima saver]Well I have been on a budget system for 41 years and I put everything in envelopes. It has worked for me for 41 years, but people laugh at me when I tell them about it.
I have never met anyone that uses the envelope system.

i use an envelope system that is newly acqiured. at the end of every day, i put whatever is left of my budget into a envelope. then i forget about it and grab the bill for the next day and repeat....you would be suprised at what you have left at the end of the week to put in with your paycheck.

[lynclarke]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

When I first started out, i used the envelope system. I had envelopes marked rent, utilities, food, clothes, insurance, entertainment, etc. Each payday, I would cash my check and put the cash into the appropriate envelope. When i got used to that, then I switched to "envelopes" in my checking account. I would get my paycheck once a month. Day #1- would subtract amounts for items like long term savings(10% of my take home pay), 1/12th of all my insurance payments, 1/12th of my land taxes, and savings for a "big ticket" item. I kept track of these items on the back of the check register. The remaining money was the amount I could live on for the month. When it came time to balance the check book, I simply added up all the money in the "funds" on the back of the register, subtract it from the balance and balance the rest as usual. I used this system for 20 years.

Now about lending money to relatives and others- First principle of lending, EXPECT to never see the money again. If you can not afford to open the window and throw the money out into the wind, you can not afford to lend the money to ANYONE. Second principle of lending money- Once the money leaves your hand you no longer can direct where the money goes any more than you could direct the money if you had thrown it into the wind. Once you get those two things firmly planted into your head, lending money becomes clearer. Just imagine yourself physically opening the window and standing there with the cash in hand. Is that what you really want to do?...or can you learn to say, "No". Not "No, I can't afford it" or "No, I am saving for blah, blah, blah", but just "No". (nicely). lynclarke

[ummabdullah]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I agave money to my daughter for years, to help her and my grandddaughters out. I finally realized that I was just throwing my money away. She never got a job or tried to help herself. Sometimes I am sad because I have no living blood relatives, but then when I hear about someone always having to help out relatives, maybe I am lucky after all.

Ima saver me and my husband really understand where your coming from. My husbands mother is 68 years old and the youngest out of 13. All have passed away due to heart problems.. except 1 sister .. My husband does not know anyone in his extended family and I am afraid to say that I am in the same boat.

It really is a lonely feeling in the world.. Thank God we have are spouses!

[ummabdullah]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

What a phenomenal thread!

Money is such a tough conversation topic. Why is it taboo to speak about your income, expenses, and budgeting?

I recently went back to school due to back surgery and my wife had to go back to work so we could have benefits.

I love listening to the kids and their spending habits and offer up suggestions on a better way to run their financial life. I wish someone had the guts to do that when I was growing up! Not even my parents uttered words about budgeting properly. Now I know why. Most don't know how to do it.


I love to listen to a nation wide financial talk show called the Dave Ramsey show. I tell everyone I know to listen for 3hrs per day for 1 week and if he doesn't sink in, no one ever will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Especially here in england.. where the poor get upset that my husband earns 60k yet don't care that he pays 6k in medical fees.. or that they get up to 13 k back in child tax credits, 90% rental assistance, no council taxes (everyone in the uk has council taxes apart from mortgage or rent), no utilities assistance,, ectr.. and that is a person living on benefits which pays them an additional £400 a month..

While my hubby is just over the threshold and pays £850 just on expenses.. not including a mortgage.. and we have to be extremely tight with our money.. to not go over..

Plus if 2 people work.. lets say make £30k each they get taxed on the lower thresholds.. making more than my husband who makes 60k.. Is that fair.. ????? And plus they don't have to pay all the same expenses..

So thats almost £18,000 a month for not working (tax free)...
Thats 1500 a month for sitting on your ass.. no education and just a few babies.. thrown in..
Without paying rent or a mortgage, or anything else we have to pay for.

Why has it gone this far? Cuz the English hate to talk about money!! And then they moan at anyone who actually makes a good salary! What don't they think we have to pay rent/ council taxes too??

Okay sorry about the moan.. I needed that..!

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Especially here in england.. where the poor get upset that my husband earns 60k yet don't care that he pays 6k in medical fees.. or that they get up to 13 k back in child tax credits, 90% rental assistance, no council taxes (everyone in the uk has council taxes apart from mortgage or rent), no utilities assistance,, ectr.. and that is a person living on benefits which pays them an additional £400 a month..

While my hubby is just over the threshold and pays £850 just on expenses.. not including a mortgage.. and we have to be extremely tight with our money.. to not go over..

Plus if 2 people work.. lets say make £30k each they get taxed on the lower thresholds.. making more than my husband who makes 60k.. Is that fair.. ????? And plus they don't have to pay all the same expenses..

So thats almost £18,000 a month for not working (tax free)...
Thats 1500 a month for sitting on your ass.. no education and just a few babies.. thrown in..
Without paying rent or a mortgage, or anything else we have to pay for.

Why has it gone this far? Cuz the English hate to talk about money!! And then they moan at anyone who actually makes a good salary! What don't they think we have to pay rent/ council taxes too??

Okay sorry about the moan.. I needed that..!

You are entitled to a moan every now and then.

There is however the satisfaction of knowing that you are looking after yourself.

Keep up the good work.

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

https://www.PersonalityBudgeting.com

How to budget in a way that works for you.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Well you can try to teach budgeting to some people but unless they are receptive, it doesn't seem to sink in!

[Duchesse]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

My 27 year old brother visited me the other day for the first time in years. He and his wife live in Louisiana. I'm on the east coast. He told me that I had a nice house. I thanked him and said, “You know, you can have a nice house too. I don't make much more then you do.” I told him how we saved and sacrificed for a couple of years in order to get the house and build up a safety net. We worked extra jobs. I clipped coupons. Etc. He said that money was tight and he needed to borrow $400 to get home. He eventually asked if he could borrow it from me. I told him no. The next day my mom told me that he borrowed $500. She said he was mad at me for being so cheap. Eventually, I found out that he used the borrowed money to buy an XBOX 360.

When you lend or give money to someone they feel it is their right to do with it what they want. The budget minded feel that if you help them they should handle it wisely. It has taken me some time and I have had to forgive some loans to keep my pressure down but I have learned, if they need to borrow for bills, they don't know how to manage their money.

[veronak]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I totally agree Duchesse, if you can handle/manage your money then you don't need to borrow

[rob62521]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

When you lend or give money to someone they feel it is their right to do with it what they want. The budget minded feel that if you help them they should handle it wisely. It has taken me some time and I have had to forgive some loans to keep my pressure down but I have learned, if they need to borrow for bills, they don't know how to manage their money.

I agree! The only time I would see this not being the case if someone was in an accident and needed cash to pay a medical bill which would be unexpected.

[Jewelfine]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

If you lend money to family or friends consider it a gift and if they pay it back it is a bonus! - We dont' lend to family or friends - causes too much strife - they think that our conditions are too much - but it's our hard earned money - so it's easier not to lend the money :-)

[tabbycat31]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I have a friend who is driving me nuts about $$$ right now. In fact she just called and I told her that if she wants to chat, to call me after 9 when the minutes are free. Her response was "oops I forgot you actually have to pay for your phone" This girl has never worked more than 10 hours a week in her life and complains about that constantly.

I was 19 when I bought my car. My sister's friend told me "why are you buying that piece of ****....... my parents will get me a much nicer car" I had to refrain from punching her.

[rob62521]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Fortunately, Tabby, you did refrain! However, you appreciated what you could afford and she probably didn't. Our neighbor has a boy like that. His parents bought him a car when he got his license. He didn't take care of it and was careless -- wound up hitting another car and later something else and they totalled it. They bought him yet another nicer car. After a couple of years, it looks like junk. He doesn't wash it even. It's scratched and dented. He barely graduated from high school and doesn't hold down a job for very long.

[rickatheslicka]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

This is all so true. My family is convinced that I am "rich" but can't seem to realize that it is because I am smart with my money and selective about what I spend it on.

Last year, my mom got behind on her mortgage and the bank was going to foreclose. I couldn't stand to see her lose her house (plus I'm thinking, if she has to pay rent for the rest of her life, she will be so much more dependent on me), so I bailed her out. I lectured her that her house is an investment, blah-blah, and she promised it wouldn't happen again.

Then she lost her job. Okay, fine, unforeseen circumstances. But what does she do about it? She MOVES TO ANOTHER CITY. So now she's paying rent and mortgage, or rather, not managing to pay the mortgage. She gets behind, the bank threatens to foreclose, she decides to sell the house. To make a long story short, when it was all said and done on the day of the closing, she owed the bank money. Have you ever heard of someone owing money when they sold their house??? I bailed her out again, in the hopes that she will make a fresh start in the new city without the baggage of her house and its upkeep. We'll see.

I do have to be careful how I talk about money with her. I don't know where she thinks the money that I used to bail her out came from, I have tried to explain that I don't just have it lying around, I have to get "creative" to come up with it, but she calls me the next month, "I'm still catching up from selling the house and I can't make my rent, can I borrow some money?" I'm afraid I have created a monster.

So yes, to answer your question, other people hurt my budget more than I do (though ultimately it was my decision to give/lend her the money).