Why can't my wife understand?

[Well Spent]

You already have a budget so just post it. If the forum had actual numbers, we would have something tangible to focus on rather than emotional and behavioral aspects of your marriage to your unemployed wife.

[cschin4]

Money or happiness - the age old dilemma. Ask your wife how much your happiness is worth to her.

Shouldn't she then ask the question of him in return? That is nothing but a way to try to manipulate the other person. Childish.

[Alex_Adviser]

How much you spend on your leisure time and stress relief activities can also vary hugely depending on what you choose to do. If you go to the cinema once or twice a week, dine in expensive restaurants mostly and make regular trips to the theatre or the ballet, you will spend much more. Most activities with friends and some societies will cost you next to nothing. Of course, the actual amount you spend is likely to be somewhere between the two.

If you are living on a budget then its better that you and your wife work out the things and decide it that how much can be spent towards which activities, this way you both can be in even a better situation.

[shobhita03]

i think you should ty n explain to your wife the amt of stress u hv in ur life n u need to destress ur self...

[marla]

It looks like a lack of communication to me which is usually the problem in most cases. It's important to be able to see the situation from your spouse's perspective as well as your own in situations like this and to be able to compromise. If both are willing, a solution can be found. If only one is or neither are, it will make things difficult.

[Brad VanGuard]

I'm sorry but what is your hobby? I'm curious to know too.

[cameraeye]

I'm sorry but what is your hobby? I'm curious to know too.

He says in the comments that it is golf.

[Homebody]

OMG this thread is hilarious when you read all 10 pages at once. Husband is bad, no wait, wife is bad, no wait husband is bad because he won't give us real numbers.

All I can say is thank goodness for my 31 year marriage and the ability to give and take.

I hate working full-time, just read my blog, but I do it to take some stress off my husband, even though at this point we could "make it" on just his salary.

On the other hand, if we could have some of the extras without me working, I would quit in a heartbeat. Running a home, if you run it well, cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, financial planning, bill paying, etc really is a full-time job.

Good luck to the OP! Very entertaining thread.

[Well Spent]

OMG this thread is hilarious when you read all 10 pages at once. Husband is bad, no wait, wife is bad, no wait husband is bad because he won't give us real numbers.

All I can say is thank goodness for my 31 year marriage and the ability to give and take.

I hate working full-time, just read my blog, but I do it to take some stress off my husband, even though at this point we could "make it" on just his salary.

On the other hand, if we could have some of the extras without me working, I would quit in a heartbeat. Running a home, if you run it well, cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, financial planning, bill paying, etc really is a full-time job.

Good luck to the OP! Very entertaining thread.

I think running a household while caring for children is a full-time job, but not if you don't have kids. ALso, in couples where one person works fulltime for pay, in all cases i've seen, that person still does a portion of the housework. That being said, in this guy's case, I think it's outrageous that a grown working man is berated for wanting to indulge in a fun hobby. This is living?

[cicy33]

I think running a household while caring for children is a full-time job, but not if you don't have kids. ALso, in couples where one person works fulltime for pay, in all cases i've seen, that person still does a portion of the housework. That being said, in this guy's case, I think it's outrageous that a grown working man is berated for wanting to indulge in a fun hobby. This is living?

He isn't being berated for indulging in a fun hobby. He is not finding the support he wants because he wants to spend more than HE and HIS WIFE agreed to. He feels that because his job causes him stress he should be able to spend as much as he wants on his hobby, golf. I agree he should be able to play golf but I also feel there should be an agreement that is kept between husband and wife. But I also see that from what he has said, his wife doesn't have a problem with him playing golf only for spending more than the agreed upon amount.

[anonymous_saver]

Does your wife like arts and crafts or things like that? Perhaps she has a service she could provide (like making jewelry, edit resumes) or something, and try to sell that. Start a small business that would be something she enjoys. Even if it only brought in $100 a month. I think that would help out. Yes, it would be her working, but probably not in the way she is thinking about. It would be at least a start.

Do you want your wife to work? If so, you should be straightforward about it. Perhaps talking with other family members could help too.

[elessar78]

Sorry, but being stressed out doesn't give anyone the right to blow the budget. Sounds like you need to cut back a little on the golfing. Not cold turkey, just a little. (Or a lot depending on the situation).

And if work stresses you out that much, then it may be time to look for a new job. Less stress=less golf=sticking to the budget=peace at home.