Preparing for an enjoyable, successful retirement means planning for more than money. Most of us think that once the money portion is taken care of, it will be smooth sailing. We’ll be off to our travels, hanging with our grandkids, and engaging in all the fun stuff our working years denied us. Big fun!
For many, our biggest fear is the loss of money. While that’s a valid worry, there will be many other losses in retirement that can blindside you if you’re not prepared for them. Dealing with that emotional load of bricks could put a crimp in your big fun. So what are some of the losses you should consider now? How can you plan for them, mitigate them, and, ultimately, come to terms with them? Here are some retirement losses to think about.
Loss of status
If you have a high-flying title at work or a job that’s held in high esteem, you might mourn the loss of status that comes with retirement. You no longer say, “Jump” and the underlings cry, “How high?” Fewer people will call you “Doctor,” even if you are a doctor. Your opinion will no longer influence major issues. This can be humbling to people who’ve spent thirty years as top dog in their field. You can (and probably should) mourn the loss of status, but if you can’t get past it, it can cause trouble. It can damage relationships if you try to dominate your personal life the way you dominate your work life. Not to mention just bringing you down because you can no longer lean on your title for validation. Finding other things at which you excel can help, as can finding other ways to define and validate your worth. Professional help may be needed if other methods fail.
Loss of identity
Who are you without your job? Many of us define ourselves by what we do. (I don’t think that’s the best idea, but society pushes it, so…) When we lose that definition, whether it be CEO or plumber, who are we? It’s tough not to have an instant answer to the question, “What do you do?” Society expects you to name a job and then that’s your identity. “Retired” is a much more nebulous identity. It can help to reframe retirement as a chance to change your identity. Who do you want to be? What do you want to be known for? Go forth and forge a new identity based on what’s important to you, not what society called you during your working years.
Loss of purpose
Love it or hate it, work gives us a sense of purpose. Even if that purpose is as simple as “Earning money to pay bills,” work gets us out of bed every morning. What will get you out of bed without work? If you’re fortunate to have work that provides additional meaning, then the loss of purpose will be even more keenly felt. You need to plan for a new purpose once your working days are done. Will you volunteer? Care for family or grandkids? Will you do some part-time work in a field that means a lot to you? Figure out your new purpose before you retire. It may change over the course of your retirement, but at least have something to aim for in the beginning.
Loss of structure
Many people struggle with a lack of structure in retirement. When you’re working, you get up at a certain time, do your job, come home and do chores or relax, and go to bed. Life is predictable and most hours are accounted for. When you retire, your day is yours. While that sounds wonderful in the beginning, it can drag you down if you don’t have a plan to put some structure in your life. Time can quickly devolve into sleeping until noon, or hours on the couch with Netflix and scrolling social media. That’s not great from a physical or mental health standpoint. You need a plan to put some guardrails on your time. Pick a wake-up and bedtime and stick to them. Have a loose plan for your days. For example, you can do chores in the morning, volunteer or exercise in the afternoon, and do social activities in the evening. You don’t have to account for every hour, but having a loose schedule can help.
Loss of feeling needed
Retirement may make you feel useless. When you’re working, people need you. They need your input, your labor, your skills. When you retire, who needs you? This loss is made worse because retirement often coincides with the “empty nest.” The kids leave and you’re no longer working… Are you needed? Feeling useless is a fast track to depression, so find ways to feel needed. That may mean forging new relationships, babysitting the grandkids, volunteering, or doing some part-time work. Even just helping your neighbors with their chores or projects can make you feel needed.
Loss of friends
While not all of us have good friends from work, some of us do. But when we stop working, those friendships often die out without day-to-day contact. You’ll also find that you’re losing more and more of your old friends to the Grim Reaper. You need to find a way to both keep old friendships going and forge new ones. Have lunch with your old work friends a couple of times per month. Stay on the work text chain, if you can. As your work friends also retire, invite them to more and more things with you. And when you’re looking for new friends, don’t discount those younger than you. Not only can they help you feel younger, there’s less chance of losing them to death. Seek out activities with a mix of ages and try to befriend all age groups.
Loss of denial
For people who retire at or close to traditional retirement age, quitting work for what’s next means also accepting the inevitable end. It’s easy to keep thoughts of mortality at bay when you’re working, but when you enter retirement, AKA: the final phase of life, death often stares you in the face. Your friends and family are likely dying in greater numbers. You start to have ailments. It’s harder to deny the inevitable. (Note that this all happens even if you keep working. You can’t stop it, but sometimes work makes denial easier.) Death is something we all have to come to terms with. Religion or counseling may help, or you may be able to get to grips with it alone. Just don’t let the end of denial smack you in the face. Prepare to face the facts.
Loss of income
It isn’t just the loss of money, in a numbers sense, that matters here. Sure, not having a paycheck can be an adjustment. But the larger adjustment can be the shift in your feelings around the loss of money. If you’re no longer the breadwinner, what are you? Are you valuable without that check? Create value for yourself independent of money. And what about the shift from being a saver to a spender? Even though we all have dreams of doing fun stuff with our money, that shift from saving to spending can be jarring. You may need to create a spending budget just like you once had a savings budget. Planning for spending may make you feel better about it.
Planning for spending may make you feel better about it. Fortunately, investments like an annuity can serve as a valuable tool to overcome income loss in retirement by providing a steady and reliable stream of payments. Whether you are going for a fixed annuity or an indexed annuity, these financial products offer a cushion against market volatility. With the assurance of regular income, annuities help bridge the gap left by the cessation of employment earnings, ensuring financial stability and peace of mind throughout your retirement years. Consider browsing the internet for annuity rates to learn more.
Loss of independence
We all fear the day when we won’t be able to take care of our own affairs. It’s scary as heck! But unless you’re lucky enough to check out early and fast, it will probably happen. Put a plan in place before it’s needed. Where do you want to go? A community or assisted living? To your kid’s house? Who will handle the money? Your kids? A trusted relative or friend? A lawyer or trustee? How will you get around if you can’t drive? We all think it won’t happen and we put this planning off, but dealing with this stuff on the fly is messy and subject to leaving you in undesirable positions. Figure it out early in retirement.
Loss of hobbies
Those fabulous hobbies you retired to may become out of reach as retirement progresses. Physical ailments may mean you can’t golf or play sports, or keep up with your garden. It may mean an end to travel, especially long-haul travel. Loss of dexterity may mean that you can no longer build models or craft. What’s your plan if/when this happens? If you’re basing a happy retirement on being able to do certain things for the duration, you may be disappointed. Do you have other hobbies on the back burner that you can pursue? Maybe take up light walking with a neighbor if tennis gets too hard? Or reading/learning instead of travel? Start thinking about what might make you happy if your primary activities go away.
Loss of partner/spouse
This is one of the big ones, and no one wants to think about it. However, if you’re part of a couple, one of you is likely to be left behind for a while. And life will go on. It won’t do any good to lie in bed and wait for your own death, no matter how much you may want to. Planning for this goes beyond planning the will and the funeral. What will life look like for one of you? Will you stay in the family home or decamp to an apartment or senior community? Will you remain open to meeting someone else, or is that avenue closed forever? If there are hobbies you pursued as a couple, will you continue to do so, or will you need new activities? Is there work or a mission that your partner will want you to keep alive for them? It can help to talk it over with your partner ahead of time so you each know the other’s thoughts as you plan for life without the other.
Loss of children
No one wants to think about it, but it does happen. In my extended family, two people had their adult children die before they did. They weren’t prepared and had assumed that the children would help manage their affairs. It was a scramble to put backup plans in place and change the wills and other documents. You never want it to happen but it does, especially if you live a long life. (If you make it to eighty-five and your child is sixty, understand that sixty is not that young. And, of course, bad things happen every day, even to the young.) You should have a plan just in case. Who will handle your affairs if your child predeceases you? Who will get any inheritance if your children die? Where will you go for care? Make these plans early and make them legal so you don’t add that struggle to your grief.
Not every person will encounter all of these. Some people are so well-adjusted or lucky that they’ll never encounter any of them. But for the majority of us, at least some of these losses will dampen our retirement years. Having plans and support systems in place (or at least in mind) ahead of time can make dealing with them easier. So while fretting about money is important, don’t forget to prepare for how you’ll keep other losses from bringing you down.
Read More:
- Putting the “Plan” in Retirement Planning
- Prepping for Your Retirement Hobbies
- Retirement is a Number
- Too Scared to Retire?
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Jennifer Derrick is a freelance writer, novelist and children’s book author. When she’s not writing Jennifer enjoys running marathons, playing tennis, boardgames and reading pretty much everything she can get her hands on. You can learn more about Jennifer at: https://jenniferderrick.com/.
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