The problem with being budget minded is other people.

**Ima saver** · 06-06-2006, 08:24 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Well I have been on a budget system for 41 years and I put everything in envelopes. It has worked for me for 41 years, but people laugh at me when I tell them about it.
I have never met anyone that uses the envelope system.
I have a friend that spends a fortune buying gifts for everyone when she goes on a trip, but she has never owned a house in her life until this year!! She never has any emergency money set aside.

**sakigt** · 06-06-2006, 08:31 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

When people complain about not being able to afford things I just let them vent. Then I tell them they can either whine and complain or do something about it.

Now, mind you, my friends are all in their mid 20s so our expenses are a little different than some

If you want to go out for drinks with friends, do so, but instead of $6 mixed drinks get a pint of whatever beer is on special.

Want to eat out? Fine! Just order water and skip on the appetizers.

For me, its about priorities, and I think others fail to rate their's accurately. I would rather sit at home and not worry about bills than go on a last minute trip and not totally enjoy myself because of the cost. (I just had to deal with this).

**bee** · 06-06-2006, 08:50 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I found that when we started saving and budgeting getting on the right track and actually having a bit set aside in an emergency fund friends and family started telling me how hard they were having it and didn`t know how they would pay their bills this month and that month etc...it got to the point that I would cringe when the phone rang but unlike them, I don`t have call waiting,call display and all the other bells and whistles which they have so I never knew who was calling. This might sound awful but I started saying how hard we are having it and with the price of everyting going up etc it is hard to get by just so they would stop and it pretty much worked.

Before I would try to help out by asking them if they wanted frugal recipes or recipes to make your own mixes etc but noone seemed to have time or it was too much work.

A few weeks ago I saw this beautiful couch which I would love to have bought, my mother told me to go and buy it but I told her that I didn`t have the money, it wasn`t in the budget yet and she told me to use our emergency fund ( I had mentioned to her a while back about how we started an emergency fund.. for emergencys) I told her that no, the couch was not an emergency and my mothers reply? She called me a miser.....Yup, she sure did.

**Ima saver** · 06-06-2006, 09:02 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I don't have the call waiting, etc. that you can get with phones either. All I have is a cheap answering machine and I let it pick up for me. I loaned a friend $500 one time and it took her 4 years to pay me back. This same friend used to rack up $200-300 phone bills every month. She and her husband work together, but they each have their own cell phone.
I have tried for years to teach her to budget. She spends money all the time, but never has had $10,000 in the bank. Until her husband got hurt and got some accident money, she never had more than $50 saved up in her life.

**PrincessPerky** · 06-06-2006, 09:18 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I find that most peoples money causes me to do a bit of a eybrow raising followed by a double blink....but then I find that with most things period (raising kids, tv viewing..education..ect)

I have noticed that for anyone who wants to change, they ask..I don't waste my time offering, though I have been known to hear a complaint on a particular bill and mention why I don't have that problem (garbage bill going up-havn't got it, don't care if it goes up

.)

I have seen a few people pick up a few habits that may be from me, or maybe they found them online like I did, but regardless I didn't lose any friends trying to convince them to be more careful.

**lillyb** · 06-06-2006, 10:09 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I've actually been having family avoid telling me things they're up to. Hehe... like I'm gonna hold them accountable for their bad behaviors. I think they don't want to hear it. Sometimes they clam up if I'm there and something about money is mentioned. They've not invited me to dinner or outtings because they've heard 'it's not in our budget' too many times. Ugh. Trying to lead by example but am getting the cold shoulder instead. Yee.

**billybob** · 06-06-2006, 10:12 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

My problem is this:

I make a good deal more money than most of my friends, (like twice as much as most of them), and they always poke and prod me when i say I can't afford to do something like go out for dinner. What they don't realize is that almost half my money goes into savings and things, and that I have more expenses than they do (I pay a higher rent, for instance).

It's really frustrating, because it's not like I don't go out to dinner with them, but sometimes I'm saving for something, or there's another reason that I am near my budget limit so I have to cut back.

I think a lot of people really live by the "spend what you have" mentality, and can't comprehend that I am willingly living on a budget.

GRRR!

**Fern** · 06-06-2006, 10:20 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Everyone has different priorities, and if money isn't one of them, then i guess any subsequent money problems rests with them. You can only do so much to try to get people to see your way of thinking. Best to just offer your opinion only when asked and keep on good terms with the family and friends. Same thing with religion.

**PauletteGoddard** · 06-06-2006, 10:28 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Originally posted by b4freedom

Do you find it challenging to deal with family, friends, coworkers, or the world in general when you’re being budget minded and they aren’t?

Or, how about our government? Does any governmental body live within any budgetary constraints?

I'm about saving energy and money these days, but my spouse just isn't behind it. My kid will save energy turning lights off but will stand in front of the open refrigerator for minutes. My spouse seems to need to have a light on in a room no one is in.

I find it best to lead by example. Lecturing and nagging didn't work on me and I suspect it won't work on the lads.

Coworkers and I do not discuss finances.
Family outside my house does not discuss finances. I asked my uncle and aunt, who raised five children, for ideas on how to cut costs raising my kid and they wouldn't deliver the advice. Nice.

Note I wasn't asking for money.

Friends -- my friends and I don't have the same income or budget so we don't talk finances unless someone's announced a savings goal or a plan to reduce debt.

In the U.S., the states are legally obliged to balance their budget. Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._National_Debt, there's an interesting two-column table. The Only Decade in the Twentieth Century in which the U.S. Govt Debt had been REDUCED was in the 1920s.

I suspect we are part of a small, not so empowered minority of people who care about balancing the budget and recognize the importance of having $$ to sustain over crises.

**boefixepa** · 06-06-2006, 11:01 AM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

It's really hard. I get all kind of slack from my family and they have finally learned just not to talk money with me. I can't get anything through their heads, but I REFUSE to shell out a nickel to them. I don't understand why they can't think ahead. I don't understand how they can live with debt collectors calling them all the time. I can't understand how they can't not WANT to do better.

The people at work...well it depends. I just started a kick where I have the goal to feed myself for $50 a month. My boss looked at me and said "you have to draw the line somewhere." It's not about drawing a line....I told him it was an experiment. It's not like I HAVE to live off $50 for food. I WANT to live off $50 so I can take the money I save and put it to better use. Heck it costs more than that to feed the dogs! I have some friends at work that really like the idea and they are really fun to talk to and bounce ideas off of, others think I'm crazy.

I'm with alot of you in that the general population is in a mind frame created by our society that says 'have it all and have it now.' Too bad they tell you what it will cost in terms of stress and relationships. I don't think I could ever go back to how I was before.

I wish I knew how to show people how much nicer it feels to be a little more 'free' from the debt. I'm not as far along as many of you, but I feel a thousand times better than I did living paycheck to paycheck and I was even current on everything. I wish I had the answer.

**Ima saver** · 06-06-2006, 12:43 PM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Every once in a while, I will say to my girlfriend, "we can't afford that right now" She always jumps all over me and says, you have the money, you can afford it!! She thinks I should buy anything I want, go on vacations on the time, etc.
I can't get it thru her head that I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes, or trips, or whatever!!
I have tried to help her budget, but she thinks that my ideas are crazy!

**veronak** · 06-06-2006, 02:26 PM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I totally agree, but I have to say was terrible...never budgeted for a thing. But now that I am on this kick a*** attitude with my debt and savings I have noticed friends and family members attitudes are totally different than mine

**Ima saver** · 06-06-2006, 02:48 PM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

That is what makes this forum so nice. You can talk to people who are interested in getting out of debt and saving for retirement, without people think you are crazy!

**Bookie** · 06-06-2006, 02:49 PM

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

The most effective response I've found to spendy friends with pricey plans is, "Sorry. It's not in the budget this month."

What makes it so effective is that most of the people I know don't budget. They spend what's left after the bills are paid and charge to make up any shortfall. When I invoke my budget, the conversation quickly shifts to another subject. People don't want to be reminded that money needs to be managed. It's sad or funny, but fiscal responsibility seems to evoke guilt in people who'd rather not look too closely at the way they spend.

I don't criticize people's spending, and I don't preach the gospel of thrift, but I'm not reluctant to speak up where my money's concerned.

The problem with being budget minded is other people.