Are you ever jealous of people who spend differently than you?

[cypher1]

This may sound weird, but the only times I've gotten envious has more to do with if someone got a better deal on a similar item purchased. For example, when I bought a used Dewalt sliding compound mitre saw (overkill, but great deal at the time) on CL, my other friend was determined to find a similar model for cheaper.

Now neither myself, or he, go around telling everyone what we spend on items like that. But its been more of a friendly competition of who can find or buy an item for the best bang for the buck.

When it comes to see other people post new car pics, or even houses, those don't impress me. Although I do envy anyone with a 3 car garage.

However, I've noticed recently seeing pics of friend's trips have stuck out, leading to envy. Hence why my spending priorities have shifted towards traveling, rather than updating further parts of house.

[AngelineRose]

Do you ever look around, talk to friends and family, and hear all of the great things other people are doing and even though you know they can't really afford it, still feel a bit jealous of their lifestyle?

I suspect most of us frugal folks have felt that way at one time or another. I frequently have to remind myself that we're saving for the future, we paid cash for college tuition last year and this year. We have no credit card balances and only a small balance left on our mortgage. And we have about 3/4 of a million dollars in savings and investments. We may not have a pool in our backyard or shiny new cars or granite counter tops. We may not have HBO or the lushest lawn in the neighborhood or a brick paver driveway. But we have financial security. My wife has been able to be a SAHM for most of DD's life. And we are still able to enjoy plenty of great things and experiences.

There are just those days when that pool looks awfully inviting.

..

What is hard for me to see is that not all capital are equally earned or achieved. I know a couple of friends who earns the same or less salary than I were able to live with their parents in order to save for a down-payment on a home and now they own a home. They did not have to spend their salary on rent and did not have to wait too long saving. I wish I could have had the same opportunity and feel jealous in that sense.

[ESMonitor]

St. Paul said he learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want. He said he learned in no matter what state he was in how to be content. And I think that's the thing. For me being a Christian, my refuge will always be in Christ, whether I am rich or not. That's what he meant. But for anyone, I think its is a mental thing to some extent. No matter what state of financial affairs you are in, you can always be grateful for what you have around you and most importantly what you possess inside you.

[Snydley]

Maybe I can offer some perspective from the point of view of the guy that was jealous and did something about it. If I wanted a BMW Z4M, I found a bank to finance it. Plus 3 other new, luxury cars. Daughter wants a horse and all the expense that goes with it, no problem. $550,000 house? Bank approved the loan, so I am good to go. RV? Got it. Boat? No problem. $200 bottle of wine? It's in the wine fridge. $1,000 / month on fine dining? No problem. 75", 60", 55", 2x42" and a 32" TV? All over the house. With the top tier cable, internet and phone service to go with it.

I was the guy that appeared to have it all. Here's what I had to be jealous of:

$114,000 of credit card debt
$120,000 of car/camper/boat debt
$550,000 mortgage
-$3,500 / month spending (on average I spent $3,500 more per month than I made)

WOW. Thanks for sharing this. I suspect other people I know live this way, with this kind of debt.

For me, I guess I would say I'm rarely jealous of others' things, but I am jealous of how they can just spend without thinking about it. I'm pretty tired of living on a budget. For example, I just got invited to dinner with the girls in the neighborhood next week, and with drinks/apps/dinner it's about $65 pp so I know it will hit my budget and I need my hair highlighted now but I'll wait until Sept because my gym membership for the year is due this month and...ugh!! I just wanna go to dinner/get my hair done without worrying!

[disneysteve]

I'm rarely jealous of others' things, but I am jealous of how they can just spend without thinking about it.

I think that's more what I meant. It isn't any specific item - if there was, we'd work to get it if we really wanted it (and could afford it). It's more the attitude.

One of my coworkers, a 20-something woman, just moved into their first home. They've already done a number of upgrades including a hot tub that was delivered yesterday. The other day, she was asking me about planning a Disney World vacation. I'm telling her all the ways to do it on a budget while she's talking about all the expensive ways to do it. Yesterday, she mentions that she was looking into it and thinks they might do a Disney cruise instead. Of course, that's going to cost her way more than going to Disney World, even doing it the non-frugal way. Ultimately, they'll decide what they decide and I'll help them plan but I know they're taking a trip they can't really afford.

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

I think that's more what I meant. It isn't any specific item - if there was, we'd work to get it if we really wanted it (and could afford it). It's more the attitude.

One of my coworkers, a 20-something woman, just moved into their first home. They've already done a number of upgrades including a hot tub that was delivered yesterday. The other day, she was asking me about planning a Disney World vacation. I'm telling her all the ways to do it on a budget while she's talking about all the expensive ways to do it. Yesterday, she mentions that she was looking into it and thinks they might do a Disney cruise instead. Of course, that's going to cost her way more than going to Disney World, even doing it the non-frugal way. Ultimately, they'll decide what they decide and I'll help them plan but I know they're taking a trip they can't really afford.

I looked into a Disney cruise vs. the Disney vacation (and meal plan and lodging) and it didn't seem to me that the cruise was much more expensive at all, once all factors are taken into account. This is just for wife and I.

[disneysteve]

I looked into a Disney cruise vs. the Disney vacation (and meal plan and lodging) and it didn't seem to me that the cruise was much more expensive at all, once all factors are taken into account. This is just for wife and I.

There are far more ways to economize on a Disney World trip than there are on a cruise. The 3 of us do a week at Disney World for $2,500. Try getting a cruise for that price.

This morning, she came in and said she booked their trip. They are doing the cruise. It came to about $6,000. That doesn't include airfare which will be about another $1,000 I'd say. I joked and said "We're paying you too much" and she laughed and said it isn't her salary that's getting them there. I knew that. Her husband is a mechanic for public transit. I don't know what he earns but I doubt it's enough to be taking $7,000 vacations right after buying a house. Her exact words were, "We figure we might as well spend it while we have it to spend." Bingo! There's the mindset issue right there. I'm willing to bet that they did not put down a 20% down payment on their home and yet they have 7 grand for a cruise. I know her car is leased - not sure about his. I'd also bet she has no retirement savings. There is just no eye on the future at all. The thinking is "spend it while we have it". That can't lead anywhere good.

[tripods68]

Man I got no time to analyze other people spending habits-would-be-bankrupt-eventual misery---because of what they their friends bought/post on FB "Look at me! Look at me! self-indulgence broke-ass-SELFIE!

[ua_guy]

I'm watching a lot of my peers continue to live fabulous lives of travel, splitting living expenses with roommates, and holding jobs and careers as long as they cover the next trip's expenses. I can't say it doesn't sound fun sometimes. But I'm marching to the beat of my own drum, and when I get jealous, I just beat that drum harder. I'm tracking to my own goals, and have been, for the last decade. That's gotta mean something.

[Singuy]

Disneysteve, other people maybe MORE jealous about YOUR financial situation!

All of my wife's friend(including herself) graduated with 180-230k worth of student loans. They are in the their early 30s or late 20s..right now trying to buy their first house with student loan debt. My co-workers are in their 40s-60s and claimed my wife and I are light years ahead of them (most with cc debt and mortgage).

So far at 32

We are
CC debt free
Mortgage free(paid 385k on a flooded foreclosure +40k of reno = a house worth 725k lakefront).
Student loan debt free
Earning potential = 300k/year post tax

What did we do with all our income the past few years?..Pay all debt off and ate at home. Didn't get HBO or all that nonsense..bought discounted clothing with no brands. Was even driving our High school beater cars (her civic 97 and my celica 2001). We both finally got new cars because it was embarrassing for her needing to open her door because the windows can no longer roll down.

Some of my co-workers were like "why would you put yourself into so much debt buying a 4400squareft lakefront property?"..I just look at them and say ...uhhh we paid cash for it. This is when their jaws dropped and scratches their head.

My financial picture actually inspired a lot people around us to pay off their debts! One of my wife's friend with 240k of student loan debt married to a girl with 250k worth of student loan debt. 3 years ago they were thinking about buying a house..after me giving them some pointers..they decided to stay with the girl's parents and now they are more than 50% debt free!(earning potential is about 230k post tax).

Now we will save for a pool/dock/jet skis and pay cash..and next year will be just savings savings savings.


Last note, you need to get a bigger tv if you really want one. They are like 500 dollars for a 60 inch..that will hardly put a dent in your retirement.

[rennigade]

The thinking is "spend it while we have it". That can't lead anywhere good.

This...or if im ever in a convo and someone says "I could be dead tomorrow I may as well spend it"...at that point the conversation is over for me. Trying to give advice to anyone with that kind of mentality is a waste of time.

[rennigade]

Some of my co-workers were like "why would you put yourself into so much debt buying a 4400squareft lakefront property?"..I just look at them and say ...uhhh we paid cash for it. This is when their jaws dropped and scratches their head.

It sounds like you guys are doing great which is awesome. In the future though I would not disclose any more of your financial picture to anyone other than your partner. Very rarely can anything good come of this. The less people know about you the better off you will be.

[97guns]

This...or if im ever in a convo and someone says "I could be dead tomorrow I may as well spend it"...at that point the conversation is over for me. Trying to give advice to anyone with that kind of mentality is a waste of time.

yep, i dont say a word because in their eyes it makes me look like the idiot, idiots talking to idiots is usually how the convo goes

[disneysteve]

This...or if im ever in a convo and someone says "I could be dead tomorrow I may as well spend it"...at that point the conversation is over for me.

yep, i dont say a word

Same here.

When she told me they were doing the cruise, I did mention that a week in Disney World would only cost about 1/3 of what the cruise will cost but ultimately, it's not my money.

I will still help her plan since I'm the resident Disney expert. And I'll still be excited for her and want to hear all about it when she gets back.

[VinceMcMan]

Not really they are not on my level either way. I spend the way I choose. I get paid to sleep in and play video games. The way I see it. They might have a huge house and a nice car. But they work 12 hours a day. While I drink beer and play games and make easy money and have no worries and ride in a Taxi.