Are you ever jealous of people who spend differently than you?

[disneysteve]

I think some are thinking that they'll just die before they hit rock bottom.

I've actually had people come right out and tell me this. Patients have told me that they are struggling financially because they just never expected to live as long as they have so they did nothing to prepare for the future. They figured they'd be dead by 60 or 65. Now they are well past that age and scraping to get by.

I've also had young people tell me they don't expect to live long so what's the point of saving.

That's got to be a really depressing way to go through life, even more so when you get to be in your 60s and have no money left.

[avil_saver36]

Do you ever look around, talk to friends and family, and hear all of the great things other people are doing and even though you know they can't really afford it, still feel a bit jealous of their lifestyle?

I suspect most of us frugal folks have felt that way at one time or another. I frequently have to remind myself that we're saving for the future, we paid cash for college tuition last year and this year. We have no credit card balances and only a small balance left on our mortgage. And we have about 3/4 of a million dollars in savings and investments. We may not have a pool in our backyard or shiny new cars or granite counter tops. We may not have HBO or the lushest lawn in the neighborhood or a brick paver driveway. But we have financial security. My wife has been able to be a SAHM for most of DD's life. And we are still able to enjoy plenty of great things and experiences.

There are just those days when that pool looks awfully inviting.

Not jealous, but having a single family home north of $500K is kind of a social status in the group that we hang out with, which is what is driving me to buy that second house.

That house will cost more money in the long run (money that would earn more when invested right), but we have to spend somewhere. We save everywhere else, but we cannot give up that dream house and our modest vacations.

Some kind of gourmet kitchens with granite is literally a must have nowadays. For one, the granite does look nice and for the other, it is semi-mandatory if you need to sell the house. If you ever list your house, that's one of the top questions potential buyers will have.

[Fishindude77]

Some kind of gourmet kitchens with granite is literally a must have nowadays. For one, the granite does look nice and for the other, it is semi-mandatory if you need to sell the house. If you ever list your house, that's one of the top questions potential buyers will have

Funny !
You're probably right, but what a crazy idiotic notion, particularly if working with borrowed money.
We put a custom kitchen in our home a few years ago, spending roughly $40,000 on the whole project. We went with Corian which was about triple the cost of standard laminate tops and Granite would have added another $5,000 to the bill.

[rennigade]

Some kind of gourmet kitchens with granite is literally a must have nowadays.

Quartz is the new granite fyi. I personally think it all looks the same. Pretty much any stone counter top is pretty slick looking.

[corn18]

Maybe I can offer some perspective from the point of view of the guy that was jealous and did something about it. If I wanted a BMW Z4M, I found a bank to finance it. Plus 3 other new, luxury cars. Daughter wants a horse and all the expense that goes with it, no problem. $550,000 house? Bank approved the loan, so I am good to go. RV? Got it. Boat? No problem. $200 bottle of wine? It's in the wine fridge. $1,000 / month on fine dining? No problem. 75", 60", 55", 2x42" and a 32" TV? All over the house. With the top tier cable, internet and phone service to go with it.

I was the guy that appeared to have it all. Here's what I had to be jealous of:

$114,000 of credit card debt
$120,000 of car/camper/boat debt
$550,000 mortgage
-$3,500 / month spending (on average I spent $3,500 more per month than I made)

I was the most miserable, sorry soul you might ever have the displeasure to meet. And now instead of enjoying the lucrative pay I am bringing in now, I get to obsess over my retirement spreadsheet to see how I can retire before I am 72.

But all of that is cliche. I don't think that is the point of DS original post.

I've probably gone off the deep end the other way. I am jealous of those that live simpler lives. Instead of wondering what it would be like to own a Ferrari, I find myself inexorably drawn towards the Honda Accord LX. I would love to get rid of DirecTV and just watch Netflix, DVD's and over the air TV. I have imagined what it might be like to live in a much smaller house that is paid off. Maybe it's the fear of getting off track again (like a drug addict), maybe it's me getting old. Either way, I would gladly trade my high paying job that I like but might kill me for a low paying job and enough money in the bank to retire at 55 with a comfortable lifestyle. And yes, by comfortable, I mean frugal.

Now having spewed that diatribe onto these hallowed fora, I do wonder what it's like to have a billion dollars and no debt. I could help a lot of animals with that kind of money.

Tom

[disneysteve]

Some kind of gourmet kitchens with granite is literally a must have nowadays. For one, the granite does look nice and for the other, it is semi-mandatory if you need to sell the house.

I guess whoever buys our house is just going to have to put in new counter tops if they want granite/marble/concrete/Corian or any other fancy stuff. We don't have it. We're not getting it. We have no need for it and, honestly, don't even like it.

[avil_saver36]

Some kind of gourmet kitchens with granite is literally a must have nowadays. For one, the granite does look nice and for the other, it is semi-mandatory if you need to sell the house. If you ever list your house, that's one of the top questions potential buyers will have

Funny !
You're probably right, but what a crazy idiotic notion, particularly if working with borrowed money.
We put a custom kitchen in our home a few years ago, spending roughly $40,000 on the whole project. We went with Corian which was about triple the cost of standard laminate tops and Granite would have added another $5,000 to the bill.

Yup, I cannot wrap my head around this concept. What do these millennials need a gourmet kitchen for? My house was assessed some $10K lower because the kitchen was not "updated" (it's perfectly functional, just didn't have any eye candy).

I cannot even begin to think of doing even a basic kitchen project costing $20K at a minimum. Why should I do it when I am paying mortgage? That $20K is 2 years worth of principal towards my loan...2 years!! I don't understand how and why people can do these things assuming they are updating their kitchens while still paying mortgage.

I am looking into getting granite (or quartz as suggested by rennigade or any version of cheaper stone for that matter) at a low cost. That and painting all the cabinets will make the kitchen look "gorumeish"

[MonkeyMama]

*Balance* is absolutely our thing. We save a lot and we enjoy life. I don't know why either would be mutually exclusive from the other. If anything, I feel like we have more money because we have always been so careful with it.

P.S. We have granite countertops. As with most things, we didn't pay that much for them. I don't know that it was that important to us, but they weren't expensive.

[bjl584]

Sometimes I think that it would be nice to upgrade certain things. But then I think about the cost. Besides, would having a bigger tv or a newer car really make me happier? Probably not. I feel that I enjoy life as is. I have balance with most things that I do. I'd rather do without than run up unnecessary debt just to have more or better "stuff."

[disneysteve]

What do these millennials need a gourmet kitchen for?

There is a 20-something in my office who just bought a house. It is old but has been fully renovated, including the "gourmet kitchen" you speak of. This woman barely knows how to make toast. She couldn't cook a meal if her life depended on it. But she's a got a showplace of a kitchen.

My wife and I, on the other hand, cook and bake from scratch all the time, and we're rather good at it. We do it all in a kitchen that was last remodeled in 1992, 2 years before we bought the house. It has laminate counters and a relatively low-end oven and stove. We have dinner parties for 12-16 people that everyone raves about.

Why would we possibly spend tens of thousands of dollars to change our kitchen? That would be truly insane.

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

There is a 20-something in my office who just bought a house. It is old but has been fully renovated, including the "gourmet kitchen" you speak of. This woman barely knows how to make toast. She couldn't cook a meal if her life depended on it. But she's a got a showplace of a kitchen.

My wife and I, on the other hand, cook and bake from scratch all the time, and we're rather good at it. We do it all in a kitchen that was last remodeled in 1992, 2 years before we bought the house. It has laminate counters and a relatively low-end oven and stove. We have dinner parties for 12-16 people that everyone raves about.

Why would we possibly spend tens of thousands of dollars to change our kitchen? That would be truly insane.

Houses with updated kitchens and bathrooms do sell much quicker than houses without them.

Whether it's worth it or not is a matter of debate, but I believe the data out there shows that of all the money you put into your house, kitchen and bathroom returns the most.

[Like2Plan]

Do you ever look around, talk to friends and family, and hear all of the great things other people are doing and even though you know they can't really afford it, still feel a bit jealous of their lifestyle?

Nope. I am retired. DH will be retired in a couple of years (he could be retired right now, but he wants to save a little bit more before he calls it quits).

We have worked very hard to achieve FI. During the years of accumulation, all the money we were putting away was meaningless. It was just a number. Money we couldn't touch. Mindless saving. Years and years away.

I got an inkling of what it was going to feel like when it was time for DS to go to college. We started spending the college savings. (It felt so wrong. LOL) But, that was what it was there for-- we didn't have to worry about how we were going to fund his education. It was all covered.

Now, we have reached a point where we can enjoy a few luxuries that we wouldn't have felt comfortable doing in our earlier years of saving. I feel we have most everything we need. I don't feel jealous of other folks lifestyle.

[disneysteve]

Houses with updated kitchens and bathrooms do sell much quicker than houses without them.

That certainly makes sense, but I wouldn't go remodeling just to sell the house faster.

[bjl584]

That certainly makes sense, but I wouldn't go remodeling just to sell the house faster.

Rarely does remodeling recoup the costs anyway. At best, you'd probably break even in the sale by redoing rooms.

I wouldn't remodel with selling at a higher price as motivation. Minor, less expensive remodels and upgrades can help you sell faster. I'd only do major remodels for your own use and enjoyment.

[scfr]

This is a great question. I consider myself practiced and skilled in the art of contentment (finding happiness in what I already have instead of striving for more), but I admit that I do feel a twinge of envy when someone goes to an awesome concert. I'm not talking about a desire to go to several concerts per year. What I'm talking about is wanting to get to another 2-3 really good concerts in my lifetime. I have the money to go, but concerts these days are about 3 times more than what I personally consider worth the cost. I'm going to try to figure out if there is a frugal way to see some cool live music.

I don't envy anyone's material possessions.

Disneysteve, I hope you get that pool some day if it's something you really want. Maybe you'll end up in a neighborhood that has a community pool.

P.S. - I am going to start by being more proactive about trying to score tickets to ACL show tapings. Since moving to Austin I've made occasional attempts but haven't been very organized about it. Just visited the ACL web site and found out that Don Henley (I'm a fan) will be taping Sept 1 and we can start registering for tickets about a week before the taping so I put it on my calendar. Thanks for the question as it spurred me to action.