Do You Help Your Kids With House Purchase?

[Fishindude77]

We helped the first one by helping arrange credit and donating a few bucks towards the down payment. Second child and spouse now starting to look for a home, will probably do something similar.

I know some folks that actually purchased homes for their kids, and others that provided zero help. Don't mind giving them a little boost, but my view has always been that if you pay for it yourself and struggle a little, it will make you appreciate it more and you will probably take care of things better.

Thoughts?

[GeorgeEastman]

How old are they, do they have degrees and jobs?

[disneysteve]

My parents (well my mom actually as dad was already gone by then) gave us $10,000 toward our down payment.

[JulieAlbright]

It hasn't come up here yet and I don't see it happening for quite some time, so I really don't have super strong feelings on the subject.

TBH I'd rather give them money for something like a house or a check to put toward their retirement funds that give them money to pay for a really large wedding or something like that. It's just kind of the way my mental process works.

[Singuy]

Nationality has a lot to do with this as well. My parents are Chinese (and me being the only child)

I got the following

1. Payed for my entire college tuition and living expenses(including pharmacy school).
2. Gave me 75k down for a house(20%)..I just need to follow their orders and pay off this house in 7 years.
3. Provided me with a new car in HS, and then bought me another one after I got married.

I do have to follow certain directions.

1. Must marry someone they approve
2. Must be frugal with my earnings and save
3. Must follow the majors they picked out for me and get the degree

The above scenario is actually pretty common among the Chinese communities.

[riverwed070707]

We helped the first one by helping arrange credit and donating a few bucks towards the down payment. Second child and spouse now starting to look for a home, will probably do something similar.

I know some folks that actually purchased homes for their kids, and others that provided zero help. Don't mind giving them a little boost, but my view has always been that if you pay for it yourself and struggle a little, it will make you appreciate it more and you will probably take care of things better.

Thoughts?

I would be more inclined to help with a house than I would a wedding or even college, but would depend on the circumstances - I wouldn't want to provide help only to have her buy more house and I'd want to feel like she was ready to do it on her own so the assistance was a gift and not a necessity to make the purchase happen. Same with college - I'd rather see her take out loans and make her own financial decisions and help after graduation than to establish an expectation that it will be taken care of.

[Thrif-t]

I think we'll do what my in-laws did for us. We saved for our 20% down and a few days before we had to go to the bank they gave us 10k towards the down payment. We were able to keep our 10k in the bank to pad our emergency fund.

I like the thought of my kids buying what they can afford themselves without any help and then swooping in at the last minute. Of course the younger/bratty me was upset the in-laws didn't tell us they would be gifting us money so we could've bought a house sooner. But the older/wiser me now appreciates what they did cause that bigger cushion really came in handy the first few years of home ownership.

[HappySaver]

I do have to follow certain directions.

1. Must marry someone they approve
2. Must be frugal with my earnings and save
3. Must follow the majors they picked out for me and get the degree

The above scenario is actually pretty common among the Chinese communities.

I'm guessing the last one is, must let them live with you when they get older if they want or need to.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I will if we can afford it. But I'd like to offer college first then house. No promises. I got nada. I'm hoping we are that set for life we can help our kids. But I am taking care of myself first and foremost.

[Singuy]

I'm guessing the last one is, must let them live with you when they get older if they want or need to.

That's part of our tradition and you are actually considered to be an ass if you don't in the Chinese community. That being said, they bought a house in our neighborhood so technically they never have to live with us.

[feh]

Nope, not going to, even though we will probably be able to afford to help.

Buying a house is an adult responsibility, and the purchaser should be solely responsible, IMO.

[richard johnson]

My in-laws gave us a big financial head start without gifting or loaning us a penny.

When my wife and I got certified in our professional careers, we moved back into her parents house for 2.5 years while we found jobs and then saved money. They let us live there, rent free, and we saved and saved. Not wanting to live with your in-laws was great motivation to keep saving money. We saved a ton, put down a massive down payment, and it really helped us get out of the gates financially.

[ua_guy]

No, my parents did not help me buy a house, nor did I expect them to, and it's kind of one of those points of personal pride. They did give me a check for $1,000 the day we moved in. I used it to buy a solid cherry dining table, which I still have today, 10 years later, and we've gotten a LOT of use out of it.

[disneysteve]

Buying a house is an adult responsibility, and the purchaser should be solely responsible, IMO.

I agree, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't help in the right situation. If my daughter was buying a home and I felt that she was doing all the right stuff financially in her life, and I had the means to help out, I could see myself doing that, just as my mom did for us.

I wouldn't give her money so that she could buy a home she couldn't afford or to make up for her inability to save a down payment. That would just be enabling her and rewarding bad behavior. I'd have to feel confident that she was on the right path and my gift would help matters, not hurt them.

[Fishindude77]

That's about they way I feel Disney.

They work hard every day, pay their bills, didn't ask for help and could get it done without help.
We're in situation where we can help them out and give them a little boost, so why not.

The oldest and spouse paid their mortgage off in under four years. Made me pretty proud.