Private and Public School

[DoreneHanson]

It makes no sense if you are hiring a private tutor to coach your kid if you sending your kid to a private school, I would any day prefer sending my kid to public school.

[sv2007]

I can't help but wonder is private school worth it? I am in an affluent area and parents here spend a lot of money on their kids. I am not in the majority nor did I ever think this possible. But I have to know does anyone on this board send their kid to private school k-12? If so how much did it cost?

Currently the average preschool where I live is $30k for motessori and other "prep" preschools. Then $30k for k-5 and $40k 6-8 and $45k 9-12.

Then I find out that on top of this these private school parents are paying for private tutors all summer at $120/hr (I looked at tutoring), tons of coaching, etc.

How do people afford this? How much money do you have to be making to afford this? $250k? Is that enough? More like $500k?

Many friends debate whether to spend the money for a house in a good school district or buy cheaply in a bad one and put kids in private schools. In terms of money, it comes out about the same, but the latter has less up-front costs (plus the bad district may improve with time, decreasing the need for private school).

Some school districts here almost require you to put your kids into private schools because all the good families use private schools so the public schools are left with the very bad kids. These things happen when a small cheap area is surrounded by expensive areas (e.g. east palo alto (median home price $200K), surrounded by atherton (median home price $4M), palo alto (median $2.5M).

It's a decision each family has to make because there is some truth to the average effect where good people tend to move lower and bad people move higher (i.e. that's why you seek out better friends, etc.)

[Goldy1]

I sent my son to a religious private school for kindergarten. He was academically at a second grade level before kindergarten. (I have a teaching degree and did tons of fun hands on activities and reading with him) We were not the particular religion of the school. They had half day kindergarten. I Wanted that. the transition for me to be away from my son all day was rough despite a new baby being born to us his kdg year. We liked the school for kdg. WE have great rated public schools there. He goes to a full day public first grade. He loves it. Downside is large classes. (28 in first grade) but the test scores of school are high.
I was against testing first graders in a standardized way, but I now have the information that he tested at end of fourth grade level at the beginning of first grade and it was short. It's good to have that info. I plan to opt out of the standardized testing when it gets intense in third grade bc they test him but don't give him any advanced ed when he places high. However, there is no gifted education at any of the schools around here, but he gets more at public than the private would. He goes to an advanced reading class in public which is all they provide for kids who are advanced.
We go to a nondenominational church and felt out of the loop at the specific religion school(despite folks being nice) and they were going to get more into religious doctrine in first grade, more church stuff and frankly if that's what you want, great, but not for us. I think if you are a particular religion and go to the church affiliated with the school, it's great to be part of that. I dislike how they raise tuition yearly, and the fundraising was intense but almost nonexistent in public. We make it to church half the time. We were required to go 75% of the time while attending private school and provide proof. nonreligious elementary runs 25 K here in Michigan. The church schools have the parish help pay. We can't afford that remotely.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Have you seen the NYT article showing wealth and race play a role in public education? The wealthier the districts the farther ahead kids are? You can type in what district you live in. Where we lived on average was 3.8 years ahead. Now it's "only" 2 years ahead.

Then it was further broken down by race. That in same districts based on race would also determine how children did. Very interesting article.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/04/29/upshot/money-race-and-success-how-your-school-district-compares.html?_r=0

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

If you still know where that interactive is, could you post it when you get a chance?

I have been shocked year by how very bad my city schools are, yet supposedly they are improving. You probably couldn't find schools this bad to put your kids in even if for some insane reason you tried.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

posted

[dawnwes]

Have you seen the NYT article showing wealth and race play a role in public education? The wealthier the districts the farther ahead kids are? You can type in what district you live in. Where we lived on average was 3.8 years ahead. Now it's "only" 2 years ahead.

Then it was further broken down by race. That in same districts based on race would also determine how children did. Very interesting article.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2...ares.html?_r=0

Hard to compare larger districts. Larger school districts typically have poor areas and rich areas. They can have a school top tiered and a bottom tier school 10 miles away, but in the same district.

[elessar78]

And that's why there is no "right" answer to the questions being posed here. Everyone's preferences are different. Everyone's goals and intentions are different. Everyone's financial resources are different. And most importantly, every kid is different.

I have no doubt that our daughter wouldn't have lasted a year in a big state school with 40,000 kids. She would have been lost - figuratively and literally. She needed the intimacy of a small contained campus with a modest student body where she could more easily connect with people and professors. Her school has 4,000 kids, not 40,000. However, I know numerous people who totally blossomed and thrived at those big state schools. It was the perfect decision for them. They would have suffered at a small school. And that's just one example of decisions that need to be made regarding college choices. For anyone to suggest that there is one best way to go is ludicrous.

There was an interesting, recent article in the Washington Post about finding a good-fit college versus one of the highly selective, Ivy league schools. His thesis, backed by many years observing where kids went to college and the lives they lived after, is that even if you don't go to a big name school you can still have a successful, productive life.

Not that that needed a Washington Post article to be known, but I think a lot of parents and students lose track of that reality.

[dawnwes]

It makes no sense if you are hiring a private tutor to coach your kid if you sending your kid to a private school, I would any day prefer sending my kid to public school.

It may make no sense to you, but if you want your child there for whatever reason, and he/she is struggling, hiring a tutor is a good way to go.

[disneysteve]

Hard to compare larger districts. Larger school districts typically have poor areas and rich areas. They can have a school top tiered and a bottom tier school 10 miles away, but in the same district.

Very true. I grew up in Philadelphia. The School District of Philadelphia is huge. There are some really, really bad parts of town and some very nice areas and the schools reflect the neighborhoods that they're in. Just looking at the district as a whole really won't tell you much.

[dawnwes]

Very true. I grew up in Philadelphia. The School District of Philadelphia is huge. There are some really, really bad parts of town and some very nice areas and the schools reflect the neighborhoods that they're in. Just looking at the district as a whole really won't tell you much.

My dad did his residency at Philadelphia General hospital in the early 60s.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

LAL, have you considered religious schools? They are pretty popular here among even non-religious people who can afford to pay some but not a lot of tuition. I understand many of them do not pressure students they admit who are not of the stated religion. No doubt that would vary. Quality varies too, some turn out some high scoring students.

Or, you might do part public, part private. My city schools do a good job at the preschool level, though there are only a tiny fraction of "seats" available. Then again at high school, we have two excellent competitive admission schools. 'Most everything in between is in the toilet, or luck of the draw at best. (Sorry, St Louis Public Schools, but I've tutored supposedly gifted middle school and the standards still seemed eye-buggingly low. )

We started our kid out at a Catholic school where I will say there was a good "esprit de corps" so to speak, with caring teachers, a very involved and accessible principal, more parent involvement than typical, a high rate (half? two-thirds?) of non-Catholic parents. By third grade, though, we were homeschooling because we were looking for a lot more academics and freedom to learn whatever whenever.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We're just not religious and don't like religious schools. We even avoided preschools with religion, lots where we are for some reason.

[Nutria]

We're just not religious and don't like religious schools. We even avoided preschools with religion, lots where we are for some reason.

We're not religious, but send our children to parochial schools because they're the best around for non-geniuses.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We don't want our kids going to weekly church and being preached to so going to a parochial school won't work. I'm not against it for others just the reason why we won't do it. We don't go ever. So it doesn't seem like something that would vibe for us. I've got friends who are jewish and none catholic who go to parochial schools but my DH can't wrap his head around it.