Private and Public School

[disneysteve]

As parents ourselves, we'd had countless conversation with our daughter (10 years old) about college.

We did the same. One thing we were very clear about is that she would live away. No living at home and commuting. That was a definite requirement for us. So that alone committed her to a certain cost and ruled out community college.

[dawnwes]

We did the same. One thing we were very clear about is that she would live away. No living at home and commuting. That was a definite requirement for us. So that alone committed her to a certain cost and ruled out community college.

Interesting. We have actually encouraged living at home and saving the cost of another living space and to spend the money and move away for grad school.

We are open to them going away, but we don't have any ultimatums other than how much we will comfortably pay. They are still free to pick something more expensive, we just won't be able to cover the difference.

Now, I will admit that I grew up attending boarding schools where the phone service and mail service was extremely limited (not in the US), and then for college I hopped on a plane, flew 10K miles away and went to college, again with limited phone service (on their end) and not always reliable mail service, and no internet.

So, my approach could be pendulum swinging.

[disneysteve]

Interesting. We have actually encouraged living at home and saving the cost of another living space and to spend the money and move away for grad school.

And that's why there is no "right" answer to the questions being posed here. Everyone's preferences are different. Everyone's goals and intentions are different. Everyone's financial resources are different. And most importantly, every kid is different.

I have no doubt that our daughter wouldn't have lasted a year in a big state school with 40,000 kids. She would have been lost - figuratively and literally. She needed the intimacy of a small contained campus with a modest student body where she could more easily connect with people and professors. Her school has 4,000 kids, not 40,000. However, I know numerous people who totally blossomed and thrived at those big state schools. It was the perfect decision for them. They would have suffered at a small school. And that's just one example of decisions that need to be made regarding college choices. For anyone to suggest that there is one best way to go is ludicrous.

[Singuy]

However, I know numerous people who totally blossomed and thrived at those big state schools. It was the perfect decision for them. They would have suffered at a small school. And that's just one example of decisions that need to be made regarding college choices. For anyone to suggest that there is one best way to go is ludicrous.

That's a matter of opinion. You believe that normal individuals must be tailored and my opinion on the matter is that normal individuals are usually adaptable.

If the individual have some sort of social or learning problems then absolutely the individual must be tailored.

[disneysteve]

That's a matter of opinion. You believe that normal individuals must be tailored and my opinion on the matter is that normal individuals are usually adaptable.

If the individual have some sort of social or learning problems then absolutely the individual must be tailored.

So do you think that every student will do equally well in every academic setting? Are there not kids who are better suited for different learning environments (absent any formal special needs)? Do you not see any difference or benefit between putting a student in a lecture hall with 250 people vs. a seminar-type class with 15 people?

[Singuy]

So do you think that every student will do equally well in every academic setting? Are there not kids who are better suited for different learning environments (absent any formal special needs)? Do you not see any difference or benefit between putting a student in a lecture hall with 250 people vs. a seminar-type class with 15 people?

I said people are adaptable. Sure one child may prefer one environment over the other, but it's not as mandatory as you make it out to be..or else there are just not enough teachers to carter to the millions amount of students. I do a lot of my learning online..that's a classroom with millions of students..I can even argue that this form of learning is better(as in you can rewatch lectures over and over until you understand the concept)...so some can care less about class size.

You know what's really more important than class size? If the teacher has a strong accent or not..or if they are actually GOOD teachers or not. These are factors you mostly can't control when picking a college.

[disneysteve]

I do a lot of my learning online..that's a classroom with millions of students..I can even argue that this form of learning is better(as in you can rewatch lectures over and over until you understand the concept)...so some can care less about class size.

That's not entirely true, though. You're not talking about an actual online class, are you? My daughter has taken 2 online classes. Both were still a small class size. There were online discussions as part of one of the classes. That wouldn't work with dozens or hundreds of people involved. Plus the professor wouldn't be able to give any personal attention to the students.

That's different than something like watching a TED talk or YouTube video that isn't part of a formal class with exams and assignments. Those are great ways to learn stuff for sure but different than what I was talking about.

Clearly we've got different opinions here, which is fine. There's certainly no right answer. Your view is just as valid as mine. I'll bow out of this thread as I don't think there's any more to be said on the topic.

[Singuy]

That's not entirely true, though. You're not talking about an actual online class, are you? My daughter has taken 2 online classes. Both were still a small class size. There were online discussions as part of one of the classes. That wouldn't work with dozens or hundreds of people involved. Plus the professor wouldn't be able to give any personal attention to the students.

That's different than something like watching a TED talk or YouTube video that isn't part of a formal class with exams and assignments. Those are great ways to learn stuff for sure but different than what I was talking about.

Clearly we've got different opinions here, which is fine. There's certainly no right answer. Your view is just as valid as mine. I'll bow out of this thread as I don't think there's any more to be said on the topic.

My pharmacy school had a real class taped online for later viewing/distant campuses. So my pharmacy school for most students was nothing more than 2 times a week for in class discussions/exams plus 80% online. It was new and unconventional. We had a 96% pass rate so obviously people adapted.

[disneysteve]

My pharmacy school had a real class taped online for later viewing/distant campuses. So my pharmacy school for most students was nothing more than 2 times a week for in class discussions/exams plus 80% online. It was new and unconventional. We had a 96% pass rate so obviously people adapted.

Sounds like it worked well. Just keep in mind that that was a high caliber student body in a professional grad school setting. Those are a self-selected group that has already proven their ability to succeed in a tough program. That's not representative of the average undergrad student. Not everybody has what it takes to succeed at that level. I could say the same for med school.

[rennigade]

If you live somewhere where you have to consider paying for private education because the public education is so bad or dangerous...you're living in the wrong area! Get out of the city...get out of the hood.

Where I grew up you went to the school based on where you live (school district.) No one cared because public was fine and still is good.

I have a friend who lives in DC...you have to enter a lottery system and hope to get lucky enough to get into a good public school. They had to choose from 12 schools...in order from 1 being their first pick to 12 being last. Are you freakin kidding me!? So if you dont get in the top 4 you're going to be in a hood school. What a disaster. Amazes me that people willingly live in places like this, lol.

[Singuy]

If you live somewhere where you have to consider paying for private education because the public education is so bad or dangerous...you're living in the wrong area! Get out of the city...get out of the hood.

Where I grew up you went to the school based on where you live (school district.) No one cared because public was fine and still is good.

I have a friend who lives in DC...you have to enter a lottery system and hope to get lucky enough to get into a good public school. They had to choose from 12 schools...in order from 1 being their first pick to 12 being last. Are you freakin kidding me!? So if you dont get in the top 4 you're going to be in a hood school. What a disaster. Amazes me that people willingly live in places like this, lol.

Perhaps these peeps have no other choice because they surpassed all odds and got a job in a field that's nonexistence anywhere else in the U.S(political science major who got a job in D.C for example).

I have a friend who married to a guy who gets paid 50k/year to work at Verizon because the boss likes him. Literally you can't find this job anywhere else..so his wife lives 4 hours away(she's a PA and can ACTUALLY relocate but she loves her job even more) and he commutes once weekly.

[Singuy]

Sounds like it worked well. Just keep in mind that that was a high caliber student body in a professional grad school setting. Those are a self-selected group that has already proven their ability to succeed in a tough program. That's not representative of the average undergrad student. Not everybody has what it takes to succeed at that level. I could say the same for med school.

True

But on the flip side, people who goes to Brown University or any other brand name private university with their perfect SAT scores can adapt even better than anyone else based on that logic.

I find a hard time believing parents dumping 100k - 200k on their kids' private university tuition when they know their kids are poor caliber students (minus special need that is)...

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Maybe sometimes it's just that they need perfect circumstances to do well. That every advantage to be had, has been given so perfect SAT scores is the result. And graduate school is already self-selected.

I do like the marry the dr idea. Problem is what happens if you get divorced? Turns out both parties in the marriage get screwed and lowers their lifestyle in retirement, usually women more than men but even men too.

[dawnwes]

And that's why there is no "right" answer to the questions being posed here. Everyone's preferences are different. Everyone's goals and intentions are different. Everyone's financial resources are different. And most importantly, every kid is different.

I have no doubt that our daughter wouldn't have lasted a year in a big state school with 40,000 kids. She would have been lost - figuratively and literally. She needed the intimacy of a small contained campus with a modest student body where she could more easily connect with people and professors. Her school has 4,000 kids, not 40,000. However, I know numerous people who totally blossomed and thrived at those big state schools. It was the perfect decision for them. They would have suffered at a small school. And that's just one example of decisions that need to be made regarding college choices. For anyone to suggest that there is one best way to go is ludicrous.

Absolutely. I think my son would do well (middle son) in a small college, but I have found that with him, he is very good at finding his small group within a large group, so I think he would just find his group and be fine.

But for us, it has to do with what we can do financially as well. So far he hasn't shown that he needs to go to a specific school for a specialized field.

AND we aren't there yet.

[Therstrand83]

I always prefer public schools because i can not afford such a huge fees from private schools for my kids.