In Desperate Need Of Help!!!

[Wino]

I'm not sure what you're asking about the payment plan. The way the debt snowball works is:

1. Make a budget.
2. Stick to the budget.
3. Pay the minimum on all of your debts EXCEPT one.
   (The one you choose can be from a variety of methods, but the result is the same on any method)
4. On the ONE, you put all the money you can until it is gone.
5. You then select the second bill, and start over again from step 1.

There is no need for a spreadsheet for the payoff. The spreadsheet is needed for the budget.

[Kalvinc]

After a couple hours I finally got my budget/payoff plan worked out. I am kind of OCD and can't stop until the job is done right. So that meant figuring out formulas to calculate:

Amount Owed - (payment + payment) + (amount owed * apr)/12

So I finally have everything worked out. If I stick to the plan, which I will because it is on paper in front of me, and I know where every dollar is going, I will have all debt paid off August 1, 2015. That is if I don't put any extra income towards it (COLA, Uniform Allowance, Tax Refund, Pay Raise etc.) Even with all my debt + my insurance bill for 3 months, and a $243 fuel pump for the truck, I still have 118 left over. Which is kind of scrapping it for food for 2 weeks but on a normal paycheck I would only be paying $50 for insurance not $308 and I wouldn't have the extra $243 for the fuel pump.

I CAN DO THIS!

I will try to keep this updated and I'm going to make my cards inaccessible tomorrow. Thanks guys for the advice (such as snowball method and the zero based budget)!

[bigdaddybus]

Good job, sounds like you are on the right track.

like you said, "I know where every dollar is going" This is key to success with debt repayment and being successful after the debt is payed off.
Even though my wife and I are debt free with the exception of a mortgage and live off of approximately 50% of our income we still use a budget. Instead of budgeting money for paying debts, we budget into multiple savings accounts for future expenses (Christmas gifts, vacation fund, auto expenses, emergency fund, etc.)so their are no surprises in our spending.

If you can squeeze it into your budget, stop by my favorite place to get reasonably priced food on Oahu. They give BIG servings! http://mililanirestaurant.com/

[gipi]

My brother lives in Hawaii and is disabled on a fixed income. He lives in public housing and pays around $100 a month for rent; the apartment is small but nice. Electric is expensive, so he turns off his hot water heater unless he's actually going to use hot water in the shower, and since the weather is warm and the water isn't that cold, he rarely uses it. He has no car. The bus is free for residents and, because of being disabled, he gets a break on taxi rides. Walking is healthy exercise, so he does that, too. He buys organic also, but frugally. The farmers market is absolutely amazing. And any fruit that is growing on public land is free for any who finds it. Avocados, mangoes, papayas, etc. He lives well on his disability check because he lives simply. And, as someone already commented, the beach is free. So your girlfriend and her son can do it if they're willing to live simply. They'll probably find they're happier, too.

One suggestion that helped me on my spending habits is taking the time to write down every cent spent and what it was for. It's amazing how quickly you realize what is wasted. I was spending $3+/- a day on bottled water. So I bought a good thermos and filled it at home. The money I saved by not buying water had the thermos paid for in a month. That's around $1,000 a year I'm saving by changing just one bad habit.

[~bs]

No offense, but your brother is hardly a good example. I looked up the cost of the bus and its $2.50 one way. He's getting 90% of his re2nt subsidized, probably food as well. On welfare too?

[Kalvinc]

Been going over my finances every day, tracking each transaction I make, and bouncing it against my budget. Also, I have found where $20 a month is going toward a service I don't subscribe to anymore, and the vast majority of my income after debt is being spent on snacks/fast food/gas station grub. Quite a bit is also being used on shopping. I have no idea how I managed to spend $652 in 1.5 months on shopping... Too many hobbies I do believe. I hope I can stick to this. Also have been making a "To Do List", and updating it daily. When I can look at a paper and everything is laid out what I need to do for that day, it makes things a lot simpler. Who knows, maybe once I get settled in Hawaii I will even start a blog... MAYBE.

[~bs]

Can't you eat on base? And yeah, that type of eating is wasteful and unhealthy. There's sites with God tips on cutting down grocery cost. Bringing Brown bags to work also saves a lot of money

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Is she still moving to hawaii with you? My vote is still for her to montana. I know hawaii and it's really expensive.

[snafu]

Is GF on board with your plan to make changes and clear debt? Eliminating interest charges as each debt is paid off will be huge. You most definitely can pull on your 'Big Boy' pants and stick with the plan - one day at a time. You can count on us to cheer you on and acknowledge every tiny step. Good on you for creating a spreadsheet and quickly identifying spending that can be re-directed with little effort. $20. for a service no longer used, snack bag food/fast food/gas station grub certainly mocks the high cost of 'organic' foods and defeats nutrition. Easy peasy to brown bag a huge range of foods, snacks, beverages with a tiny amount of pre planning. The choices depend on what you like/prefer; look at cooks.com or ivillagefood.com [or preferred foodie sites] for ideas. Recognizing $652. for incidental or entertainment shopping as a No-No is yet another step forward.

I suggest GF research which organic foods offer the most benefits often listed as the 'dirty dozen.' I presume she avoids fast food and junk food. A cheap, crockpot/slo cooker is almost always available at Goodwill or nearby charity shop. With 15 minutes of effort it provides a meal waiting for your return home. The true benefit is that it braises the cheapest cuts of meat to make those toughest cuts fork tender but keeps vegetables that have cooked all day firm to the fork. The trick is to double the amount of spices, herbs and sauce you prefer. Cook healthy cereal overnight and awake each AM to a hot, stick to the ribs breakfast. Store leftovers in a snap lid container and heat just the right amount each AM.

With information for you to follow I'm confident you'll be successful. The alternative is not pretty with consequences that will drag you down and wreck relationships.

[terces]

Navy wife of 22 years here. And I totally agree with LivingAlmostLarge. You are getting ready to deploy in 5 months. Save the money and have her live with her father during that time. I did this when my husband deployed..and we were married. Plus if you're deploying on a ship you're not going to be around much as the ship amps up for deployment with sea trials and exercises.

Will the separation be tough? Of course. But if she's going to be a Navy Wife she's going have to be able to deal with this along with knowing how to be independent and handle things personally and financially while you are away. Otherwise the relationship won't last.

[mrpaseo]

20 years Army retired here, with the little information provided I think you need to look deeply at your relationship. First and foremost, you can get in trouble for calling a married woman your GF, and if there is any sort of interaction beyond friendship you can and will get caught. Case in point, I know of a Specialist (Army) that brought a married woman to a ball and introduced her as his fiance, two days later he was a PFC with an ART 15.

Your "GF" is coming out of a bad military relationship and she jumped right back into a military relationship. I have seen these go bad. The spouse is looking to hurt the military man and (In this case) she may take you for all she can before she dumps you for the next "Deploying" man. With her spending habits and disregard for your bills this may be exactly what is happening. If you allow her to move to Hawaii and she has access to your funds, you very well may return with little to show for your deployment. I have seen it time and time again. (I have six deployments under my belt and saw it happen all six times).

You have NO legal course of action if you return and she has spent all your money and or ran up more bills in your name. Just the fact that you stated that long distance relationships do NOT work raises a red flag. What do you think is going to happen when your compulsive spender "GF" or future wife is going to do when you are deployed again? You already know the answer.

As with many, your best option is for her to go home to her family. While she is there, she will have people to take care of her and she will have the money to support herself. You can learn to live apart while she has the moral support of her family. You can both get your personal finances together and pay off your debt.

After your deployment (In 11 months right) her divorce should be done (With your explanation there should be no reason for it to drag out) and you two could talk about marriage. While married in the military you are entitled to BAS and BAH along with a higher CLA. Add all this to your now debt free life and the knowledge that you can live apart and you should live happily ever after. All I'm asking is for 11 months of structure and suffering for life long happiness.

My wife and I did not marry until we spent time apart, our initial separation was only 58 days but we knew it would work. She also moved in with me sort of (In the barracks) so we knew we could live together. Since then we have been apart for 22 months twice thanks to deployments, training and schools back to back. We started financially stable, both with the same mind set of our future (Financially and our life long goals).

There are things you can do with the Navy as well. You can get free financial counseling, you can attend Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University free (Through your chaplain channels), you can buy your food/clothing on post (Even in Hawaii) for less than what you pay off post.

If you feel the need for your "GF" to see you in Hawaii, I say send her to Montana, then after she is settled (With her HHG), fly her and her son over for a month or two. This will give you some time apart, then some time together, then allow you time to train and prepare for the deployment. What is important right now is for you to understand that YOU are working for this relationship (By spending all your money) and she is NOT (She is not spending her 30k and she spends her money impulsively and lets you (While you are in debt) to pay for her NEEDS). From what you told us, she is getting everything she can from you... What do you think is going to happen when your money well dries up? She is going to find a new well of money (This is identified when you said that a long distance relationship will NOT work).

Best of luck.

Edited to add, I was a First Sergeant prior to getting out of the Army, I was also an advocate of the "Financial Peace University" and dealt with Soldiers almost daily with their finances (For many years). I helped Soldiers with $200,000 in debt and a COL with $1 million in assets.

[Kalvinc]

Navy wife of 22 years here. And I totally agree with LivingAlmostLarge. You are getting ready to deploy in 5 months. Save the money and have her live with her father during that time. I did this when my husband deployed..and we were married. Plus if you're deploying on a ship you're not going to be around much as the ship amps up for deployment with sea trials and exercises.

Will the separation be tough? Of course. But if she's going to be a Navy Wife she's going have to be able to deal with this along with knowing how to be independent and handle things personally and financially while you are away. Otherwise the relationship won't last.

There is no Galley on this base. I get 352.27 here per month for BAS. So although I'll be losing that, I'll have access to the galley and still be getting $373.00 extra a month. My girlfriend and her son are moving to Hawaii with me. When I deploy, (I won't be on the boat) it will be hard but we will make it though it.

So I will be getting $2,058 monthly. Minus $878 in debts (with the extra $200 payments). Minus $150 in insurance and phone bill. Leaves $1,030 for budgeting. She will have $1,335 after bills for budgeting if she gets her belongings out of storage. Giving us a grand total of: $2,365 left for everything else, such as rent (starting November), utilities, food, gas, entertainment, shopping, etc. That is if I DON'T get BAH before I deploy. I will also be getting a $114 pay raise in September for being E4 over 3 years or $335 pay raise for being E5 over 3 (depending on whether or not I get advanced). So the numbers show me that it is POSSIBLE. It will be hard if we have to pay rent without getting BAH, but still DOABLE.

[Kalvinc]

20 years Army retired here, with the little information provided I think you need to look deeply at your relationship. First and foremost, you can get in trouble for calling a married woman your GF, and if there is any sort of interaction beyond friendship you can and will get caught. Case in point, I know of a Specialist (Army) that brought a married woman to a ball and introduced her as his fiance, two days later he was a PFC with an ART 15.

Your "GF" is coming out of a bad military relationship and she jumped right back into a military relationship. I have seen these go bad. The spouse is looking to hurt the military man and (In this case) she may take you for all she can before she dumps you for the next "Deploying" man. With her spending habits and disregard for your bills this may be exactly what is happening. If you allow her to move to Hawaii and she has access to your funds, you very well may return with little to show for your deployment. I have seen it time and time again. (I have six deployments under my belt and saw it happen all six times).

You have NO legal course of action if you return and she has spent all your money and or ran up more bills in your name. Just the fact that you stated that long distance relationships do NOT work raises a red flag. What do you think is going to happen when your compulsive spender "GF" or future wife is going to do when you are deployed again? You already know the answer.

As with many, your best option is for her to go home to her family. While she is there, she will have people to take care of her and she will have the money to support herself. You can learn to live apart while she has the moral support of her family. You can both get your personal finances together and pay off your debt.

After your deployment (In 11 months right) her divorce should be done (With your explanation there should be no reason for it to drag out) and you two could talk about marriage. While married in the military you are entitled to BAS and BAH along with a higher CLA. Add all this to your now debt free life and the knowledge that you can live apart and you should live happily ever after. All I'm asking is for 11 months of structure and suffering for life long happiness.

My wife and I did not marry until we spent time apart, our initial separation was only 58 days but we knew it would work. She also moved in with me sort of (In the barracks) so we knew we could live together. Since then we have been apart for 22 months twice thanks to deployments, training and schools back to back. We started financially stable, both with the same mind set of our future (Financially and our life long goals).

There are things you can do with the Navy as well. You can get free financial counseling, you can attend Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University free (Through your chaplain channels), you can buy your food/clothing on post (Even in Hawaii) for less than what you pay off post.

If you feel the need for your "GF" to see you in Hawaii, I say send her to Montana, then after she is settled (With her HHG), fly her and her son over for a month or two. This will give you some time apart, then some time together, then allow you time to train and prepare for the deployment. What is important right now is for you to understand that YOU are working for this relationship (By spending all your money) and she is NOT (She is not spending her 30k and she spends her money impulsively and lets you (While you are in debt) to pay for her NEEDS). From what you told us, she is getting everything she can from you... What do you think is going to happen when your money well dries up? She is going to find a new well of money (This is identified when you said that a long distance relationship will NOT work).

Best of luck.

Edited to add, I was a First Sergeant prior to getting out of the Army, I was also an advocate of the "Financial Peace University" and dealt with Soldiers almost daily with their finances (For many years). I helped Soldiers with $200,000 in debt and a COL with $1 million in assets.

First of all, I have no idea what I said to make you think that she is that kind of woman. I can guarantee you that she is not. I have met women like that, I know people who are married to women like that. I am well aware that there are people out there like that, but that is not what she is looking to do. They have been seperated for 4 years, and he is serving a 9 year sentence in Leavenworth. We have mailed the divorce papers. The only reason she didn't do it before, is because after her brain surgery (that left her paralyzed), she NEEDED medical. He was in prison and without medical she still would not be able to walk or do half the things that she has re-learned to do. Her son needed medical. He was in prison, after being reduced to E1, and she has not collected any of his pay.

She gets paid a measley $100 for child support. She could easily get 4 times that amount if all she wanted was money. She naturally gets defensive, as most people do, especially if they feel they are being attacked about the way they spend money. Sometimes I spend money on her, and sometimes she spends money on me. This paycheck for example, I had to spend $293 on insurance and $243 for a fuel pump. I only had $57 to give her for food and she has paid for multiple things for me. It is definitely a give give relationship and we both try to help each other out as much as possible. As far as the $30,000 in savings, that is how much she HAD saved up. She pays her rent here $550, utilities, and of course provides for her son. She doesn't expect me to pay her bills, or buy her things.

We have done more talking since I originally made this post. We have looked through our statements and both admit that we need to start tracking where our money goes and have more control over it. I love hunting, before I met her I would go every single weekend without fail. Of course this spends more money, but that is where my money was going before. Now it is going other places because it was un-focused spending. She likes to shop. So we are currently working out a compromise that gives us both enough of what we love to give us our fix. Such as me only going hunting/fishing once a month, and having a spending cap on total expenses. The same is being applied to her shopping. Although we won't really be able to put this into effect until we actually get there.

I know where every single cent of this paycheck went, and exactly how much I have left. Looking at classfieds, I see my truck selling for $5-6,000 on craigslist in Oahu. I only owe $3,200 on it currently, and will more than likely be selling it and buying a bicycle when I get there. That money that I was paying on the truck will of course be used to make my snowball even bigger. Maybe even an extra $100, since I spend $300 a month on insurance and gas alone. I realize that financially speaking, her living with her dad would be the "smart" choice. But that is not something I am willing to negotiate and will just have to work around it. Besides that, Jordan (her son) needs some stability in his life. Moving from DC to California, to Montana, to Hawaii really is just too much. Especially if it is done during the school year. Right now is OKAY, in that he will only be moving every 3-6 years and it would be during the summer.

I know you guys are trying to help, and look out for my best interests. But I can 100% assure you that she is NOT that type of person. She is very religious and would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone. The reason we can't do the long distance is because I lied to her a few times when I first met her. I never cheated or did anything with another girl, but the fact that I wasn't honest with her is the problem. So I have been working very hard to continue to rebuild that trust, and right now we are not at a point where she would be okay with us being that far apart. When it comes to November, we won't have much of a choice in the matter. Hopefully by then she will know that she can trust me. If not, then I guess she will have to make the decision to stay with me and be worried for 6 months, or just leave. But her being there with me really isn't affecting MY finances that much. I never meant to give the impression that she is or would ever mooch or depend on my income to support her. And if that were the case, I would be doing it because I WANTED to, not because she expected it.

Sorry for the long rant, obviously you guys don't know what type of person she is, and are only going off the information I have provided you with. But I just needed to clear up that matter so nobody is thinking things like that.

[mrpaseo]

I appreciate the response and clearly you earned the right to rant. Please excuse my bluntness as I have seen many Soldiers get walked on and I tend to get a little defensive when it comes to people in uniform.

You did clear up some things and I do hope the best for the three of you.

Respectfully.

[Kalvinc]

I apologize mrpaseo, I didn't mean to be rude or upset you. I understand you are only trying to help, and I definitely appreciate it

Very Respectfully,

Kalvin Cackler