I have done a lot of internal work to reduce my mental health challenges and improve my overall quality of life. With money being such a key aspect of life, I’ve naturally done a lot of this work around money. Most of the time, I’m doing fine with it all. And yet, still, despite all of this personal growth work, the inner critic often still finds a way to get my attention.
What is the Inner Critic?
The inner critic is that internal voice or thought pattern that often critiques, judges, or doubts our actions, choices, abilities, or decisions. It’s like having a constant commentator inside our minds, pointing out perceived flaws, highlighting past mistakes, and fueling self-doubt. This critical inner voice can be harsh, undermining self-confidence and creating feelings of inadequacy. It often arises from internalized beliefs, societal pressures, past experiences, or fears of failure, and it tends to be particularly active in moments of stress, uncertainty, or when facing challenges.
Why Do People’s Inner Critics Often Focus on Finances?
The inner critic frequently fixates on money due to the significant role finances play in our lives. Money represents security and stability. It often influences our access to resources and opportunities. Consequently, our inner critics tend to scrutinize financial decisions because of the deep-seated societal and personal associations between financial well-being and overall success or happiness.
Moreover, money is a common source of stress for many people. Concerns about not having enough, making poor financial choices, or comparing oneself to others’ financial statuses can intensify the inner critic’s focus on money. This creates a fertile ground for self-doubt, fear of failure, and feelings of inadequacy, especially in a society where financial success is often equated with personal worth.
Furthermore, financial decisions often carry a weight of permanence and consequence. Missteps can have tangible and immediate impacts on our lives, making money-related choices a prime target for the critical inner voice. The stakes feel higher, intensifying the inner critic’s scrutiny on financial matters.
How That Applies To Me
There are a few key things showing up here that I can see are deeply related to my own experiences with money. In other words, I see some spots where my inner critic thrives.
Balancing Creative Dreams and Financial Stability
As I said, money represents security and stability. One of my biggest challenges has been trying to balance a creative career with that need for financial security. Since it’s a constant balancing act for me, it’s a place where the inner critic is on overdrive.
There’s a frequent seesaw between chasing a passion-filled, unpredictable career and the desire for a stable financial situation. It’s tough to figure out the right path when the world says stability comes from a conventional job, but my heart longs for something different.
I’ve always chosen the creative path. I will continue choosing the creative path. And yet, the inner critic continues to tell me that it’s not quite sure that was the smart way to go.
Money and Access to Resources and Opportunities
I’ve been privileged to have access to many resources and opportunities in my lifetime. However, I’ve also frequently lived beyond my means. I’m no stranger to credit cards, massive student loan debts, and business loans. I am grateful for the ways that those things have helped me along the way, particularly in allowing me to meet my basic needs for food and shelter while also carving out a creative career. And yet, I have internalized a lot of messages about taking on so much debt. And my inner critic loves to show up and talk to me about that.
Just a handful of things my inner critic likes to say:
- “You’re irresponsible with money.”
- “You should have been more prudent and avoided all that debt.”
- “How dumb can you be about money?”
- “You’re smart and yet you make ridiculous financial choices.”
- “You’ll never break free from this cycle of debt.”
- “Why can’t you just work a traditional job like everybody else?”
- “You’re just not capable of handling money wisely.”
- “Others manage their finances better; why can’t you?”
- “You’ll never achieve financial freedom; it’s too late now.”
- “Who are you to be writing about money when you are carrying so much debt?”
And on and on …
Fear About the Future
What all of this boils down to is that my inner critic is here, trying to warn me about my future. It’s all rooted in fear. I am financially fine right at this very moment. I more than have my needs met. My bills are all paid on time. There are many indicators that I’m doing just fine, despite carrying debt. And yet … whether it’s social messaging or something I grew up with or a combination of who knows what, I am afraid that tomorrow I’ll have absolutely nothing and only myself to blame.
One of the first things that my best therapist ever taught me was to notice when I’m “future tripping” and “catastrophizing.” I don’t do those things nearly as much now as I did when I met her in my twenties. But my inner critic still loves to go there. So what helps the most is simply to remind myself to “be here now,” as cheesy as that may be. Mindfulness practice really does help me first notice the inner critic, then acknowledge it, then let it go so I can be in the moment.
Other Tips for Quieting the Inner Critic When It Comes To Money
- Practice Self-Compassion: I call this being gentle with myself.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Listen to what the inner critic says. Then ask aloud if that’s even true.
- Focus on Solutions: Break down larger financial goals into smaller, achievable tasks. Focus on the easy things.
- Gratitude and Affirmations: Focusing here really does shift things around.
Read More:
- 10 Ways Depression Impacted My Finances
- 6 Ways I’ve Viewed Debt Over the Years and What’s Changed Now
- Embracing Diverse Financial Paths: Two Sisters Approach Debt Differently
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Kathryn Vercillo is a professional writer who loves to live a balanced life. She appreciates a good work-life balance. She enjoys balance in her relationships and has worked hard to learn how to balance her finances to allow for a balanced life overall. Although she’s only blonde some of the time, she’s always striving for total balance. She’s excited to share what she’s learned with you and to discover more together along the way.
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