A parents’ job is to prepare their children to live in the real world. In the real world you have to work for your money, you don’t always win and you don’t always get what you want. If parents are preparing their children to live in the real world, why are so many parents spoiling their children? In fact, spoiling children appears to be quite common. A recent survey of readers by Parents magazine found that 42% of parents admit to spoiling their children.
Don’t Spoil your kids To make up for poor Parenting
Even though spoiling appears common, most parent don’t actually intend to spoil their children. It’s tempting to give in to your child and buy a toy when you are in the store. An occasional toy is not a problem. But it’s a problem if you are buying your child a new toy every time you step in a store. Parental guilt is one reason parents use to justify spoiling their children. They feel guilty about the long hours they spend at work and try to substitute for the lack of time with material things and fancy vacations.
Set Rules and Enforce Consequences
Eighty of the parents surveyed by Parents magazine believed that spoiling their children would affect them in the future. It’s time to make a change. Parents need to learn how not to spoil children. Some simple tactics to adjust their attitudes will help your children. Set rules and enforce them. Let your children know the consequences of not following the rules. If they don’t follow the rules, follow through with the consequences.
Don’t Reward bad Behavior
If your child has a tantrum do not give it too much attention. It is embarrassing when you are in public and your child has a temper tantrum, but giving the tantrum too much attention rewards the bad behavior. Your child will stop having temper tantrums when he realizes that they will not get a reaction from you.
Make your Children earn their Allowance
Create a list of age-appropriate chores. Let your children know when they will receive their allowance and that all their chores must be completed to receive the allowance. This will teach them that they have to work for what they want. Teach your children about managing money. Have them allocate a portion of their allowance to savings and charity. Help them understand the importance of budgeting their money and saving to buy something they want. Children who learn financial management at home have a better chance of being financially successful adults.
Disappointment Is an Important Part of Learning
Let your children experience disappointment and don’t apologize for the disappointment. You don’t get everything you want as an adult and not everyone is a winner all the time. Learning how to accept disappointment is an important social skill that everyone needs to learn.
Making these changes will not change your children in a day. But with time and consistency they will adjust their attitudes and stop believing that the world revolves around them. Your responsibility as a parent is to give your children the tools they need to be successful. Life is full of challenges and disappointments and children need to be prepared to handle them.
For more on this check out our article on why enabling self indulgent children is not good parenting.
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