Apparently I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who believe that, much like my sister, I should be dating someone. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about this, but after I mentioned that my sister thinks that I should go out on dates as part of the minimum wage challenge, I received far more emails and messages from friends saying that they had the “perfect person” to set me up with. This concerns me a great deal because I tend to be the type of person who doesn’t believe in “perfect” matches, but that relationships, like most things in life, take a lot of hard work and compromise. While I realize that is not something that I need to worry about in the least bit on a first date, just the mere fact that they would insist that it’s “bound to work” even before the two of us have met sends up some red flags. I think I would be a bit more comfortable if they simply told me they knew the really great person that they thought would be good for me to meet, but I guess that’s not the way that set-ups work (at least, not among my friends). Even with my concerns, I decided that it couldn’t hurt to give one a try, and now I have a date set for this coming weekend.
I know that there was a some concern about my sister wanting me not to tell the date that I’m doing this minimum wage challenge until after the fifth date in the comments. I think the main concern was that I would be leading the date on to reach the five date goal, but in all reality, I think that would be extremely difficult for me to do. I tend to be fairly blunt and honest (I call it as I see it), and I don’t think it would ever be possible for me to pretend to enjoy the company of somebody just to reach five date goal (life is far too short to do things like that). If I go out, and things don’t click, then there would be no way that I would try to go out again simply for the challenge.
My guess is that the topic won’t even come up unless a date suggests that we do something that I simply couldn’t afford. I think that is highly unlikely, but I guess it could happen. My hope is that if my limited finances do come up, I can simply say that I’m currently on a tight budget and that would suffice as an explanation. That being said, I’m not going to lie if it does come up. I think I will play that by ear and do what I feel is best depending on the circumstances.
So, the big question now is what should I actually do on the first date? I figured that there are two ways to play it. The first one would be to simply go to a mutually agreed-upon coffee shop and sit and chat for a while. This is probably the safest date because there’s a quick and easy escape if either of us doesn’t feel any type of connection or comfortable. The other option would be to take her on a short hike (I’ve been told that she likes the outdoors) which would be a little bit more risky, but would likely give us a chance to get to know each other better than simple conversation at the coffee shop. Which of the two do you think is the better option, or do you have a suggestion of something that’s even better to do on a first date?
Overall, today was a pretty boring and standard day (at least from the perspective of you as the reader). Since I’d lost the last couple days with the website server issues, I had a rather long list of things that needed to get done. I spent most of the day in front of the computer doing them. Although it was a day filled with work and not much time to take a break (just once in the morning and once in the afternoon to walk the dogs), I did manage to catch up on most of the work, so I’m feeling a little better about that. It also meant that I had a no spend day since I didn’t have the opportunity to even think about spending any money.
I have hope that I’ll be able to do at least a short hike tomorrow because after spending full days I front of a computer, I really need to get out.
Today’s Spending
Food: $0.00
Car: $0.00
Housing: $0.00
Travel: $0.00
Misc: $0.00
Total: $0.00
Total Spending
Food: $7.39
Car: $0.00
Housing: $0.00
Travel: $0.00
Misc: $16.15
Total: $23.54
Next article: Day 17: Cooking Injury
(Photo courtesy of DigitalArtBerlin)
Hmmm tough choice, but I’d go with the coffee shop and the second date (assuming there is one) I’d go on the hike.
Agreed with DC. The coffee shop is much more safe if you don’t “click.” If you click at all, I think the hike would be a great second date.
I like the hike idea. Personally I would be a bit stressed out having to sit in a coffee shop forced to make conversation. The hike would be “doing something” and conversation would come more natural to me in that setting. That’s just me I guess.
I don’t agree with you guys, I’d rather hike. At least if it gets awkward you can hike a bit faster and stop talking for a while, while still being busy. In a coffee shop you just sit and stare at the person and wonder what to say, the outdoors provide countless opportunities for small talk.
Jeffrey – Do you have a hook up at the coffee shop? Could you get a b1g1 free drink or a drink card buy 5 drinks get one free? (that would be beneficial if you have more dates with other people). Take initiative to pay before hand.
Me personally being a girly girl I would not want to go on a hike just yet. Maybe say lets go to the park. Then show up with goodies for a sunset picnic, or a bag of bread to feed ducks at a pond. Then, volunteer at a walk/race together. Don’t let on about the challenge, total killer. Good luck and tell sis GAME ON!
As a female, I’d be more wary to go off alone with someone I just met. I think there is some of that element too. I just wanted to clarify my thinking a little bit. I actually dislike coffee and drinking, and I would also rather go on a hike, any day. But it is a first date. & it’s hard to call – because sounds like some of the females would prefer the hike – others would not or would be more cautious. Maybe you should just ask her what *she* would prefer. & keep the hike short – yes – for sure.
For a first date I would go for the coffee shop, it will give you both quick out if there is no chemistry and/or common values. As for other ideas have you ever heard of Letterboxing? You can check it out on Letterbox.org. Another idea is for you to participate in a volunteer activity, I live in Southern California and there is always beach/river clean-ups, not to mention the food bank or organizations that help out military families. Picnics are good, you can even include wine, 2 buck chuck is always available at Trader Joe’s. Honestly I wouldn’t really care about how much a guy spends on a date, it would be a treat to participate in an activity that someone else thought of and executed.
Coffee shop for sure. It isn’t like after getting to know each other you couldn’t head out on a hike half way through your coffee.
Definitely a coffee date. A hike is too much of a time investment if you want an “out” if you two just don’t connect. Plus, what girl wants to get all sweaty and icky when trying to make a good first impression? 😉
There is no way I would go on a hike alone with someone I didn’t even know. Definately the coffee shop, a nice, safe, public place.