The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[smooper]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Best bet- try avoiding talking $$ with friends, most importantly,wages. My policy is to try NOT to know friends finances/wages. Our personal situation of little debt is hard to talk about,especially when we hear some other peoples debt nightmires, but we love resting easy at night, even though we don't have all the toys!

[no_more_oilily]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

This is where we are now..because we have given up the spending and have made a decision to get out of debt and save money people are looking at as like we have two heads!

Its weird looking at the spending habbits of others now I am on this side of the fence..no make that its insane to watch.
I am so glad we have stopped,granted tis have been for a short time-but its a relief to know its over.

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

This is where we are now..because we have given up the spending and have made a decision to get out of debt and save money people are looking at as like we have two heads!

Its weird looking at the spending habbits of others now I am on this side of the fence..no make that its insane to watch.
I am so glad we have stopped,granted tis have been for a short time-but its a relief to know its over.

Isn't it great when we have found a way of budgeting that suits our financial personality! Our friends and relatives who complain so loudly have yet to find a way of budgeting that suits them. What we can do is not tell them there is only one way they can budget. This only causes them further hardship. We can do them a sevice by suggesting that there is a way of budgeting for every personality.

Enjoy your money

The Budget Man

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Good for you oilily!! I do think you should be able to talk to people about money! Why do so many people avoid it?

[lrjohnson]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

My hard line is, and I don't have many hard lines: I will not apologize for being frugal. I embrace frugality and it's part of my life and people can think it's quirky or funky or whatever, but I won't be embarrassed.

It's taken time to stop ever saying "I can't afford it" to "I don't want to spend money on that." I don't ask about or comment on others level of debt, so I figure I shouldn't get any negative comments.

I bought a 2000 car in 2003 with cash. People ask if I got a good financing deal. I state I didn't finance. An hour later I "rescued" a ziploc bag that had had cookies in in that was gonna be tossed. I put 2 and 2 toether: no payments because of frugality. And over time, people have started to add 2 and 2 as well.

So people may think it's oddball, but I sense a lot of them also have a growing respect. And I think I've planted baby seeds in my circles. I've spread the Freecycle word, and it's surprising me the people who want site details-people who pay retail and have cc's and enjoy shopping. If even one person has saved a few bucks I'm happy.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

You are certainly an inspiration to me, irjohnson! I wish I had someone like you around to talk to.

[lrjohnson]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Ima, you know, I think you model things for your group. You talk about being at parties where everyonbe else is done up (nails, hair, etc.) and spending lots. Well, they'll see you, not "done up" but happy as a clam with a loving husband, thoroughly enjoying herself. And maybe they'll get to thinking that they don't need to be completely "done" or "done" so often to be happy.

The ladies I party with all drink expensive wine. They make fun of me cause I like Boones farm wine. It is $2.99 a bottle and I like it. (obviously, I am not a wine person)

I think making fun of the Boone's wine is a bit tacky - it's brave to go against the group. Some of them may really appreciate finer wines, but I bet a least one or two are thinking "I wish I didn't have to pretend to tell the difference between these wines. I'd sure like a glass of Julie's Boones."

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Well, I hope that is true. We went on a Vermont Inn vacation where we tasted wines every night.. The $100 bottle tasted terrible to me.
I guess i am just who I am. I don't like wasting money on nails, hair or fancy clothes. I hope I am just fun to be around and that is why we get invited to so many parties.
The people we built for one time, asked me what kind of wine I like. For christmas, she bought me a whole case (6 bottles). She said it was cheaper than buying one bottle of a "good" wine.

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

Good for you oilily!! I do think you should be able to talk to people about money! Why do so many people avoid it?

Could people be scared about talking about their money because they've tried so hard before and failed to find a solution?

A lot of the things peope do with their money is because they feel they have lost control of their money and feel powerless to do something about it.

Enjoy Your Money
The Budget Man

When you need a budget

https://www.PersonalityBudgeting.com

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

But I think if more people talked about it and asked for advice, things might run a lot smoother in their lives. It is a very important subject, those that avoid it, are usually in for a rough time.

[kealina]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

"The ladies I party with all drink expensive wine. They make fun of me cause I like Boones farm wine. It is $2.99 a bottle and I like it. (obviously, I am not a wine person) " - IMA

lol...we like boones too... but we buy it when it's on sale for $2...

[The Budget Man]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

But I think if more people talked about it and asked for advice, things might run a lot smoother in their lives. It is a very important subject, those that avoid it, are usually in for a rough time.

I agree, anyone who avoids finding a way to organise their money is in for a rough time. Another difficulty I find is that people avoid talking about money because they have the idea that budgeting means going without. This is the exact opposite to the reality. Not having a budget means going without and not having a choice in what you go without. Budgeting means choosing what is important to you and going for that. Even the Queen of Engand had to give up on her yacht which she didn't really worry too much about.

The good news is that budgeting is about having choices, not babout being restricted.

Enjoy Your MOney
The Budget Man

https://www.PersonalityBudgeting.com

[ummabdullah]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

ya know.. I think the reason people stay clear of frugal people is the same reason they stay clear of poor people.

People respect money and what that money can buy. I grew up poor my whole life due to my single mother raising two children on state aid. The way she could budget meals and everything was amazing. I still remember months when we lived on mac and cheese and didn't have enough money for toilet paper.. No one respected my mother who was trying to be there for her children. Rather they would have preferred her working her arse off and neglecting us....... I will never forget my mothers care and the hardships she went through.

Now she is a nurse and makes great money working 72 hours sometimes. She is such a hardworker.. and she can survive on 4 hours of sleep.. Its amazing.

When I went to uni and lived in my own flat I used men to buy me whatever I wanted. Ya know the pager, mobile, food and even part of my rent. Then I became religious and got married to a horrible man who didn't pay for a dime. And I still remember that not one person was there for me as a friend. Even after I divorced him and used all my savings to pay the rent. The lack of respect people had for me was outrageous.

Now I'm married to a doctor.. whose on a 5 figure salary but not many people know that. They all think hes on a 6 figure salary and expect me to buy a £300,000 house in the UK. They respect me sooo much and listen to what I say.. and if I need a helping hand they are there for me.. Hypocrites.

And thats what I mean... people for some reason think that if they are friends with a wealthy person they will somehow raise their status. If buying a bmw ("drug dealer" black mans wheels in london)raises your income then fine. Or if it makes it more comfortable for you then great! But for me I'm sticking with a small car, with a small tank, and a converted LPG engine. And If I don't buy an expensive house because I can't afford it (literally) than all those money grubbers can piss off...

If they want a friend who will be there for them in thick and thin. Who will love them without seeking anything in return .. then look up my phone number...

So keep chugging along all frugal folks.. cuz at the end of the day.. Its only money! Let the jones have a stress and cherish your success!

P.S. I think saving money is great.. but if you have a family member in need.. do what you can to help them out... whether its wasting gas taking them places.. or paying the rent for awhile.... at least you won't feel guilty that you never tried.

[jmjj215]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I put 2 and 2 toether: no payments because of frugality. And over time, people have started to add 2 and 2 as well.

That sentence right there captured the essence of it for me. You do your thing. Eventually people will catch on and maybe even have an "Ah ha" moment.

Well put!

[cschin4]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I just don't discuss my finances with others. And, if they are talking about theirs, I just listen. If someone asks me why I don't buy this or that, I just say I don't want it which is the truth. I think saying "I can't afford it" is kind of annoying. And, if you say it, someone will then try to point out why you can afford it.
The best way to respond is just listen. You aren't going to change anyone else's financial habits. Most people don't want to change and aren't going to listen to any suggestions on how to live a more frugal lifestyle.