The problem with being budget minded is other people.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

It is true, people don't like to talk about money! That is why so many people are in the dark over money. My friends just spend all their husband's money and don't tell them what anything cost! My husband will let me buy anything I want, but he knows I won't waste his hard earned money on stuff I don't need.

[shengmei]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

No actually. I am a grad student. Grad school is like an alternate universe where everybody has less than $100 in their bank accounts and everybody is ultra-frugal.

I actually get in trouble all the time for not being frugal enough. LOL.

[kealina]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

lol.... this thread is kinda funny and super true... we are the most budget minded (and health oriented) people in our families and we get all kinds of flack from all quarters.... like boe said " I can't get anything through their heads, but I REFUSE to shell out a nickel to them."
they might not like that we have more money but that's too bad... they could have money too if they worked at it.... if and when they come to us and ask we would love to help out but so far most efforts haven't worked....
one of the few things that has been ok, after some time and persistance, was picking up something they wanted from a yard sale.... at first, they were all resistant in some way but they've all come around and so that's great... and everything we pick up for cheap is one less thing they will pay retail for... we can't do everything but it is nice to be able to help in this small way...

[debtfreesteve]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

When we started paying off our debts, we had to do a written budget, and my brother said, and I'll never forget this "I hate to think that I had to live that way"...

Well, let's just say he's going to be asking me questions really soon, on how we are able to do, to buy xyz... and it'll finally give me a chance to show him and his wife the road we've taken.

[JoyJoy]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I have been on the outs with my older sister since January, 2006. We were talking about debt and retirement. Her husband was the only one working and he retired. (She worked for only three months in her life and had the audacity to go to Social Security on her 62nd birthday and ask for her retirement benefits!) I told her I should be out of credit card debt by November, 2006, owing $4,800.00. She stated she was $20,000.00 in debt and that her husband was extremely upset with her. I told her I would be too. Here the man has retired and you're running up debt in your golden years instead of eliminating it. She is the matriarch of the family so the other sister falls in line with her and so does the rest of the family. It took me awhile to stop missing their phone calls, but it has been so pleasant not to have anyone shooting me down for having a good financial rapport with my husband and a good financial plan for our lives. It's not like I feel we're better than anyone else. We're just tired of debt!!!! We want to save! Like Joyce Meyer (minister) said, "Don't criticize other people for their accomplishments if you don't want to do what they had to do to get there!"

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

If it weren't for like minded internet friends I'd have gone nuts a LONG time ago, lol!

ALL of my inlaws are in deep debt with more going out than coming in but not one wants help to change things.

We attempted to help my MIL with her budget when we found out she'd blown a HUGE inheritance in less than 3 years and had racked up a lot of debt but that went over like a lead balloon, the rest of the family basically made it our fault that she was in debt because we didn't see what she was doing and stop her!

MIL just stopped in a few weeks ago and told us she's going to Vegas on vacation, and showed us all the neat things she'd just bought in Amish country. (I just about bit through my tongue to be kind!)

And my best friend, God love her, her bills are always late, she pays minimum on her CC's, yet she and her hubby are always out buying CRAP at auctions/garage sales, their house if STUFFED with crap, their barn is stuffed with CRAP, but they just have to have more!

Yep, without the like minded people here I'd be in a looney bin!

kj

[Broken Arrow]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

It's amazing to me how other people live in this... reality-distortion bubble.

The examples are rife all over this forum, but that's certainly not all.

My ex felt that it was perfectly normal with having debt. "Everybody has debt, why are we any different?" Because I didn't know any better at the time, and because I felt that she was more important than money, I also went into debt, spending money on her.

Since we've been splitsville, she has been living with almost a quarter million dollars in overall debt while I've managed to pay everything down to just my student loan and basic monthly living expenses.

To this day? According to many who has known us, I am STILL the villian! "Oh, look at money-grubbing miser. No wonder she left him, because he loves his money more than her."

What money? I'm still struggling to get back to financial black, and from time to time, I actually have to stop and tell myself that there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm doing the right thing. Did I mention that I actually went INTO debt for her?

It still hurts sometimes, but then, I also think the Joneses are over-rated.

[cbmeeks]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I would say that even though I love my wife more than anything, she is the same way. She says she is on the same page as me about our budget and getting out of debt but she's not. I sometimes feel that she has to keep up with her family to impress them somehow.

And you can forget about kids being a part of the plan. Kids are nothing but money sucking, ungrateful, little monsters. lol

And yes, I have three and I still say that!

[PrincessPerky]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I have three and ds will turn off lights to "keep the money for beef'
Ds will also pass on sugar 'cause too much will make you sick'
DD hasn't started parrotting yet, but give it time.

Kids learn what you teach, by word and by example...course if they have mainly the example of people on tv they prolly don't learn what we want....

My family doesn't hate us, niether do friends, but I try to avoid 'we can't afford it' I said it once, boy was I in a bad mood, I was cranky depressed and annoyed at being cranky depressed (not to mention broke) I wanted to go spend loot like my friend..but it wasn't going to happen.

I didn't neccessarrily lose a friend that day, but I certainly didn't endear her to me.

If it comes up now (wanna stop here for lunch?)I try to make it easier...IE I have some such and such thawing for lunch, wanna join us instead? (I keep easy cook meals around for such a case-even chicken nuggetts from aldis is cheaper than eating out)

For family I try to invite them over lots, for things that are free (our pool, or games) and keep snacks or food they can share to avoid having to order pizza to much. But on the flip side, I try to budget for pizza now that the CC is paid off..cause what is life for if not enjoying with family and friends? (but don't ask me to use paper plates!)

[cbmeeks]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I have three and ds will turn off lights to "keep the money for beef'
Ds will also pass on sugar 'cause too much will make you sick'
DD hasn't started parrotting yet, but give it time.

Kids learn what you teach, by word and by example...course if they have mainly the example of people on tv they prolly don't learn what we want....

Well, two of my kids are step-children and they are teenagers. That means that everyone is stupid except them. Also, they literally can not understand that things cost money and money is not free. Public schools do not teach finance. I think budgetting should be taught in first grade through college and that budgetting should be required the same as math or English.

My family doesn't hate us, niether do friends, but I try to avoid 'we can't afford it' I said it once, boy was I in a bad mood, I was cranky depressed and annoyed at being cranky depressed (not to mention broke) I wanted to go spend loot like my friend..but it wasn't going to happen.

I didn't neccessarrily lose a friend that day, but I certainly didn't endear her to me.

First of all, you are problably like me. You are cranky and annoyed because everywhere you look, you see people spending money on crap they don't need. Including your friends and family. If my family or friends didn't want to hang out with me because I prefer a bologna sandwich to Red Lobster 5 days a week then they can kiss my ass. And I'll be damned if I am going to feel guilty or apologize to these people because I am frugal.

Sound like you need different friends.

If it comes up now (wanna stop here for lunch?)I try to make it easier...IE I have some such and such thawing for lunch, wanna join us instead? (I keep easy cook meals around for such a case-even chicken nuggetts from aldis is cheaper than eating out)

Tell them you only budget for X number of "eat-outs" per month. If they look at you funny or say something about it then tell them you choose not to waste your money....then tell them to kiss *MY* ass. hahaha

For family I try to invite them over lots, for things that are free (our pool, or games) and keep snacks or food they can share to avoid having to order pizza to much. But on the flip side, I try to budget for pizza now that the CC is paid off..cause what is life for if not enjoying with family and friends? (but don't ask me to use paper plates!)

It's amazing how cheaply you can feed a bunch of people if you really try. Finger sandwiches, chips (the $1/bag kind), $5 pizzas can go a long way.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

When I first married, I was 20. I didn't really know what to do, so i wrote down everything we would need money for, food, rent, elec., phone, heat, car payment. I figured it out and put it on paper that I looked at every week on pay day. I put away 1/4 of the rent, the car payment, etc.
I am still doing that, every pay day, the cash goes into the envelope to pay all the bills! My best friend still has not saved anything for her retirement even tho I have urged her to open an ira for the past 20 years. I hope she can live on $600 a month some day. (She still has to work full time)

[asha]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I find that most peoples money causes me to do a bit of a eybrow raising followed by a double blink....but then I find that with most things period (raising kids, tv viewing..education..ect)

HAHAHAHAHA! I just did that in fron of the computer to try to understand it and I cracked myself up.... it's called a "bemused look" right?

[asha]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

"Don't criticize other people for their accomplishments if you don't want to do what they had to do to get there!"

AGREED! I am SICK of hearing negativity about what I do for a living even though doing it drains the life-blood out of me becasue of how demanding it is (I am a hospital dr and work for the government so earn 5 figures like everyone else).

BUT

I am from a frugal Indian family and am only really learning in the last two or three years about saving and being frugal. I was very restricted in my choices and so when I left home was determined to learn my own lessons and wasted a fair amount of money. I did manage to save a few thousand a year, though. This year has been my best year, for frugality and last year was my best for saving but that is partly because I did quite a lot of extra work.

[Ima saver]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I have a BIL who is working so hard, it is killing him. He works all day, drives 75 miles to and from work, and then does paper work all night. (he owns the business) His wife just has to have horses, not one of them, but 6. Do you know how much 6 horses cost to feed and shoe? He has to buy a trailer to haul them to horse shows and a big truck to pull the trailer. She spends money like it is water.
Don't mean to offend animal lovers, my little Holly is very important to me, but she only cost about $10 a month to feed, if that much.

[cbmeeks]

Re: The problem with being budget minded is other people.

I have a BIL who is working so hard, it is killing him. He works all day, drives 75 miles to and from work, and then does paper work all night. (he owns the business) His wife just has to have horses, not one of them, but 6. Do you know how much 6 horses cost to feed and shoe? He has to buy a trailer to haul them to horse shows and a big truck to pull the trailer. She spends money like it is water.
Don't mean to offend animal lovers, my little Holly is very important to me, but she only cost about $10 a month to feed, if that much.

That kills me. But it is both of their faults. The wife for demanding so much from her husband and the husband for letting it happen.

She sounds pretty selfish if you ask me.