What non-traditional personal advice have you received that turned out to be helpful?

[ua_guy]

Love what you do. You'll always make money if you love it because you'll work harder. DH's mentor told him that and told every grad student he had that. He said if you do what you love you'll be so good at it you'll always make a living. It's when you don't really love it, but tolerate it, then it'll show. He then said if you don't love it, drop out of your phd because it's stupid hard that wasting your time and money on it is ridiculous. He was right and we were stupid.

That being said I now tell my kids all the time you have to go to college. Get a 4 year degree to check the box. Anyone who says you don't need hasn't talked to someone whose 40+ unemployed and can't get another job because they have experience and no degree now. We have 3 friends and all could never get another job in their old fields or haven't. And you haven't talked to a recruiter. We're good friends with 3 different recruiters. They admit they only look at people without degrees when the resume/linkedin application comes in by a referral. Otherwise it gets filtered out by the algorithm. When you have 2000 applicants and want to winnow it down to 100 and then start reading it's easy to click "4 year degree". Then skills, then etc. Just saying it doesn't mean much but it matters a lot in. AI is going to make it more filtered.

And so we told our kids just get something. And to others? You don't have to spend a fortune getting the degree. Go to CC and then cheap in state and live at home. But just get the degree. One of my aunts never finished and it did hold her back.

I have mixed feelings about "love what you do". It's something that is said and repeated to young people. Specifically, my dad used to tell me to pick work that I love, don't end up like him, working a stressful job just for the money if your heart really isn't there. My father did well, despite doing something he didn't love. I've witnessed a lot of peers and a lot of young people since then basically failing to find work they love, and it can become a barrier and makes people feel like they haven't found their purpose, or that they've failed the mission. I'm of the mindset that most work actually sucks, it's work that needs to be done, not because it's fun or enjoyable. Finding passion is either there (I want to be a doctor, or a race car driver, or an animator!), or, for most of us, it's not, or specific passion around a work, job, or career is really hard to determine. We need work to support our other goals in life, and we pursue what we love to do in our hobbies and time outside of work.

We have a kiddo/ young adult in our family who is at a major crossroads. I've tried to explain the parallel universe to "love what you do", which is "be excellent" at what you do. And instead of focusing on a specific passion, focus on what kinds of work make the best use of one's talents. The simplest examples are things like if you're really outgoing and love to be around people and love talking, maybe selling a product, or leading projects, being a foreman, could be a compatible career. Or, if a person is really introvert and doesn't like to constantly interact with people, maybe a career in computer systems or manufacturing, designing process, or robotics, could be a good fit. It's all with the goal of being able to get out of bed, work at a job and feel like you're contributing your best self, and being proud of the talents you sell -- whether you work for yourself / own a business, work for a company / someone else, or freelance, contract.

This also fits with what was said above about completing a degree. If one has the time/opportunity to get a degree early, do it. It really doesn't matter what degree, and it need not be expensive. There's a false choice that people will tell you about (If you don't know what to study, go into a trade, or go into a trade because they believe getting a degree is worthless). It's not. The choice need not be a black-or-white decision, or a life sentence, any path that is chosen. The advice is to not limit opportunity, and don't become a slave to a job where you can't find excellence in your work (even if the job isn't your life passion) because of debt. I sure as heck hope the kiddo I'm thinking of finds her way out of the indecision and hopelessness she is in.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I have mixed feelings about "love what you do". It's something that is said and repeated to young people. Specifically, my dad used to tell me to pick work that I love, don't end up like him, working a stressful job just for the money if your heart really isn't there. My father did well, despite doing something he didn't love. I've witnessed a lot of peers and a lot of young people since then basically failing to find work they love, and it can become a barrier and makes people feel like they haven't found their purpose, or that they've failed the mission. I'm of the mindset that most work actually sucks, it's work that needs to be done, not because it's fun or enjoyable. Finding passion is either there (I want to be a doctor, or a race car driver, or an animator!), or, for most of us, it's not, or specific passion around a work, job, or career is really hard to determine. We need work to support our other goals in life, and we pursue what we love to do in our hobbies and time outside of work.

We have a kiddo/ young adult in our family who is at a major crossroads. I've tried to explain the parallel universe to "love what you do", which is "be excellent" at what you do. And instead of focusing on a specific passion, focus on what kinds of work make the best use of one's talents. The simplest examples are things like if you're really outgoing and love to be around people and love talking, maybe selling a product, or leading projects, being a foreman, could be a compatible career. Or, if a person is really introvert and doesn't like to constantly interact with people, maybe a career in computer systems or manufacturing, designing process, or robotics, could be a good fit. It's all with the goal of being able to get out of bed, work at a job and feel like you're contributing your best self, and being proud of the talents you sell -- whether you work for yourself / own a business, work for a company / someone else, or freelance, contract.

This also fits with what was said above about completing a degree. If one has the time/opportunity to get a degree early, do it. It really doesn't matter what degree, and it need not be expensive. There's a false choice that people will tell you about (If you don't know what to study, go into a trade, or go into a trade because they believe getting a degree is worthless). It's not. The choice need not be a black-or-white decision, or a life sentence, any path that is chosen. The advice is to not limit opportunity, and don't become a slave to a job where you can't find excellence in your work (even if the job isn't your life passion) because of debt. I sure as heck hope the kiddo I'm thinking of finds her way out of the indecision and hopelessness she is in.

Okay let me rephrase it. DH's boss basically meant if you don't love your research quit. It's too hard, too long a road, and too much investment to waste your time doing something you hate. Maybe you don't LOVE it, but if you despise it, then you'll never get out of bed. Most people seem to find something they love about their jobs. They find something they can talk about that brings happiness or joy. But when they really hate what they do it shows. It really shows when you just punch the clock and hate talking to people, hate your coworkers, and hate staring at a screen. Even if you are good at it, the lack of joy often times shows. Usually it's in your unhappiness coming from within and that makes others not want to be around you. Misery doesn't love company and most people when you just complain about getting to work, working, and nothing positive can feel it. At least every job i've worked the people who are miserable it really shows.

But doing something because you think it'll make you money, is a "stable" job, or your parents want you do it I think is recipe for disaster. And I really think picking a career others think you should do is where it all starts. And you can't tell me it doesn't happen. We were chatting with a college counselor to interview and she told my DK1 "be grateful your parents are pushing you to explore. most parents hire me to push their kids into the career field they pick for them." And probably why so many are miserable and fail.