Money Habits I Learned From My Parents

[srblanco7]

WSJ article on the influence that our parents/upbringing has on our money personalities. Sometimes it's specific conversations and others it's based on observing what happens to our parents.

For me - I don't recall a specific conversation - but we grew up lower middle class and my father was pushed into ER after a company downsizing. I think both were factors in my drive to save & accumulate.

Interested in the Forum's thoughts on the validity of this concept as well as how your upbringing shaped your money personality.

[Fishindude77]

Myself and siblings were raised by a self employed dad and his dad was self employed as well.
Biggest and most beneficial thing learned was ..... no work, no money. Dad would never give us money, but he would give us all the work we could handle to earn money.

[disneysteve]

My financial behavior was very much shaped by my parents and my upbringing. My parents were both children of the Depression. My dad was born in 1923 and my mom in 1930. They were naturally frugal. I was raised going to flea markets and yard sales and auctions and thrift shops, buying used items as a regular routine. We always had nice stuff and new stuff and sometimes the latest and greatest stuff but it was always in an overall context of frugality. I learned about value vs. price, that some things were worth paying more for. When we traveled (always by car) my mom packed food and we had a picnic at a roadside stop along the way. My dad and my uncle (his brother) had their own accounting firm so he never had any sort of pension or company retirement plan. He was on his own long before that was the norm like it is today so he saved and invested for the future with CDs (especially during the 13% interest rates of the 80s) and stocks back when that meant dealing with an actual human full service broker and paying sky high commissions for every trade. When I was old enough to start investing, I used the same broker to buy my first stock (Disney of course) which I still own.

So I'd say I learned to be frugal in my day to day life but also to have some balance and be willing to splurge on things that really made a difference. I learned to always live below my means and save for the future. I'd say that mindset has served me well throughout my life.

My mom is now 93 and as frugal as ever, which drives me crazy at times because there's no longer any financial need to do so to any serious extent. She'll have some stupid little thing break and ask me to come fix it and get upset when I whip out my phone and order a new one on Amazon for $6 that gets delivered the next day. I'm at a point in my life where I value my time more than money in many cases.

[ua_guy]

My folks prioritized saving money, investing, and working, and to never under-value education. They've always pushed me to go farther, save more. They were great examples and are set to outlive their money, no problem. They continue to be frugal in ways they haven't needed to be in a very long time. Habit, I guess.

[jenn_jenn]

Neither of my parents are savers and that has 100% influenced me and my siblings to be the opposite.

They raised 4 children, giving 120% to their kids, and they’ll be the first to tell you that they don’t regret any of it.

However, as the primary money suck, I felt a lot of their money stress as a kid and knew I never wanted to feel that way again. I was a *very* expensive child. At its peak, was $40-$50k/year for sports in the early 2000’s. My parents were not wealthy so it was a large financial burden and a point of contention. My kids will also never do the same sport that I did.

Another major influence wasn’t my parents but my childhood best friend’s dad. He was a wealth advisor and I remember him talking to us about Rich Dad Poor Dad, the magic of compound interest, and taking us to a Dave Ramsey event as young teenagers. He introduced me to the world of personal finance.

I think it makes perfect sense that your parents and upbringing would influence your approach to money. How could it not?

[bjl584]

Both my parents were horrible with money.
Most of my financial knowledge was either self taught or influenced by my stepdad. He is very good with money and investing and has taught me a lot over the years.

[disneysteve]

Neither of my parents are savers and that has 100% influenced me and my siblings to be the opposite.

Both my parents were horrible with money.

These are great points. Not only could our financial education come from walking in our parents' footsteps, it could also come from running in the opposite direction if our parents modeled what not to do so we learned from their mistakes.

[kork13]

Agree with the others, my parents 100% influenced my money habits in a wide variety of ways. Funny enough, in the week before Father's Day, my brothers & I were just discussing exactly this point about our father, and we all agreed completely. My father was very careful/conservative with money, and he was (remains) always the investor in their relationship. From him we learned frugality, to save/invest first & always, and always live below our means. Funny enough, our mother was sometimes his polar opposite -- she spent money much more freely (both on stuff & experiences/travel) ... but when she did so, she always focused on quality first. So from her, we learned to spend liberally for the RIGHT things/experiences, and to practice clear & practical judgement about what is & isn't worth spending your money on. Case in point: she was my sole advisor when, at 26y/o, I purchased my first home .... which has easily been one of the best money decisions I made in my early career (2nd only to when/how I began investing -- thanks dad).

As jenn_jenn said, it's unavoidable that your parents are going to influence how you approach & use money, likely in both direct (conversational/instructional) and indirect (example/demonstration). The real difference is if they served as an example of GOOD behaviors to mimic, or BAD behaviors to avoid.