Mortgage burning party?

[ua_guy]

Do people still do those? The payment for payoff has been sucked out of our account so it's as good as done. I know this is a less-than-humble brag. I could attribute this piece of success to bootstrapping and hard work, but the truth is, we have it pretty easy. We don't have kids, our parents are self-sufficient in retirement, and we didn't arrive in our relationship together with massive amounts of debt. Both of us have enjoyed the gift of continued good health, and we haven't ever been doomed by medical debt. Any extra money we've had we've always put towards the house.

It feels good. It's not the first time we've had a paid off house, but, this is a paid off house that represents somewhere we desire to be, and a place we could stay in forever, if we wanted. I'm 40. I can't say I haven't thought about selling the place and finding someplace to live that's 1/3 the price, and using the money to move retirement closer. But I'm struggling to find someplace else we'd like to live--that's what it comes down to. Maybe it's just taking a deep breath and watching and waiting to see what comes next.

[kork13]

Can't say I've ever heard of a mortgage burning party, but I could totally get behind it.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Having the mortgage paid off is truly such an incredible, freeing feeling. It's a foreign concept to most, but if you know, you know.

Have you settled on your plans for the post-mortgage cash flow? I know when we did it ourselves, figuring that out was an eye-opening experience ... like, a "world is my oyster" type of feeling. We realized that we only lived on 40% of our income, including childcare, entertainment, & general "miscellaneous" spending. We ended up keeping it simple & just started to plow it all into various market investments (taxable, 529, UTMAs, retirement, etc.)... But not having a mortgage made us realize that without the debt anchor, we could really do just about anything we realistically want. As you mention, it also made abundantly clear how quickly we could hit FIRE & truly control our own destiny.

[Fishindude77]

Congrats, I'd say a party is in order.
You've done well and are the exception to the norm.

I'm 63 and although I never ask about this subject, it comes up. It's pretty crazy how many friends, relatives and associates my age and older are still carrying mortgages. They've just accepted that they are always going to have a house payment and see no other way.
Some have remortgaged borrowing against equity and have been making payments on their homes for 30+ years. Many of the same still make car payments as well.

[myrdale]

I don't understand the scale of what you're considering, so I'll just say it depends.

If you're just talking about you two going out for a steak at a nice restaurant, I think that's a great idea to celebrate.

Fictitiously speaking, If you're talking about having the in-laws over, your best friend, a couple of co-workers, your brother, and that cute girl from across the street.... well I think I'd reconsider. Rather than celebrate the achievement with you, across a large enough group there are going to be a few who don't understand and/or resent your position. Also you don't know their positions in life. The best friend has $100k of student debt, one co-worker just had a car repo'ed and the other is paying half his check to child support, that girl has $8k in credit card debt and is driving a $40k vehicle which she is paying for with a $40k salary, and we won't even get started on the in-laws.

Speaking from experience, years ago I had bragged to a friend about having just refinanced my house with the intention of having it paid off in another3 years, 9 total, his wife overheard and got really snippy (please note this is from like 10 years ago now).

In another case, my mother had mentioned someone (who's broke) had just bought a $30k car. When I suggested they should have got something cheaper, or kept driving what they had and pay cash, she threw the comment at me "Not everyone can write $20k check".

Keep it small. Don't burden other people with your success.

[bjl584]

Congrats.

Not sure about a party, or who you would invite.
Would that be perceived as a celebration or bragging?

I'd opt for a nice evening out to dinner, just you two.
Maybe a weekend get away.
Either way, I'd keep it small and the news close to my vest.

[rennigade]

Congrats, thats great.

Our mortgage is only $650ish a month, so when its paid off in 10 years or so, it wont be a life changing amount that we can save. It'll certainly be nice to pad our savings more. Id keep no debt to yourself. The less people know about your finances, the better.

[ua_guy]

I'm joking about actually throwing a party. Other than being mostly anonymous here and sharing this milestone in a finance forum, we don't really plan to tell anyone we know or make a thing out of it. It's not a competition with anyone but ourselves, and I can see where knowing that fact about our home could do more harm than good when it comes to family and friends.

Mortgage burning parties were more of a thing a long time ago, and people would actually burn their mortgage paperwork once it was paid off, as a symbolic gesture. I snickered when I first heard of it, like wow, that's some hate. I think most people just shred old mortgage documents now, after keeping them around for a retention period.

[Fishindude77]

You can still have a wild party with all your friends.
No need to tell them why and chance hurting some feelings, just have a fun time of it.

Being mortgage free is a big deal. Nothing wrong with celebrating.

[Drake3287]

As for having a party or even telling anyone, we found almost the opposite when we made our final payment. We make/made a fairly decent income and I'd say the vast majority of our friends and family were in the same financial situation as us. Problem was, almost all of them have made less than perfect financial decisions over the years and aren't even close to paying theirs off. We found that these humble brags are almost like gloating over your success while the others made different choices.

After mentioning it in casual conversation a few times, I know longer say anything for fear of making others feel uncomfortable or even jealous when it's not my intent. Sort of like our financial savings goal being met, some things are best not bringing up to others.

[myrdale]

After mentioning it in casual conversation a few times, I know longer say anything for fear of making others feel uncomfortable or even jealous when it's not my intent. Sort of like our financial savings goal being met, some things are best not bringing up to others.

It is funny how it can come up, even unintentionally. Last year, I mentioned to a co-worker I was going to have to take off for lunch to go pay property tax. He commented "Hold on, isn't that supposed to be in your mortgage payment? Have you already got your house paid off?" To which I smiled and said yes. Sometimes when I am out with friends, I'll pickup the tab. They'll want to argue and I'll say "Ya'll have house payments, I don't". It tends to put a smile on their faces.

[bjl584]

It is funny how it can come up, even unintentionally. Last year, I mentioned to a co-worker I was going to have to take off for lunch to go pay property tax. He commented "Hold on, isn't that supposed to be in your mortgage payment? Have you already got your house paid off?" To which I smiled and said yes. Sometimes when I am out with friends, I'll pickup the tab. They'll want to argue and I'll say "Ya'll have house payments, I don't". It tends to put a smile on their faces.

that scenario has happened to most of us here I'd imagine. The unintentional comment that shows we are doing well financially.

[disneysteve]

Last year, I mentioned to a co-worker I was going to have to take off for lunch to go pay property tax.

You have to pay your taxes in person? I pay ours online or I could mail it in. I’d hate having to go in person.

[ua_guy]

I'll probably let my folks know at some point, or casually drop a hint. I know my mom worries and probably still thinks we are deeply in debt and/or not saving for retirement. Just to say "we've got this".

And yes, I will be paying property taxes online, same as the insurance bill. And setting many calendar reminders, although, they still mail notices and paper statements I believe.

[myrdale]

You have to pay your taxes in person? I pay ours online or I could mail it in. I’d hate having to go in person.

I don't "have to", but I like to. Two reasons. First I get the receipt from them, so I know beyond any doubt it is done. Second tags for my truck come due at the same time so I knock that out in the same trip. I would also take care of my carry permit at the same time when it came due. Luckily we are now a constitutional carry state, so that is a few dollars I'll save going forward.

[kork13]

It is funny how it can come up, even unintentionally. Last year, I mentioned to a co-worker I was going to have to take off for lunch to go pay property tax. He commented "Hold on, isn't that supposed to be in your mortgage payment? Have you already got your house paid off?" To which I smiled and said yes. Sometimes when I am out with friends, I'll pickup the tab. They'll want to argue and I'll say "Ya'll have house payments, I don't". It tends to put a smile on their faces.

This echoes some of my experiences as well. I obviously don't look to advertise having our house paid off, but I also don't actively avoid it -- I don't see the point in trying to mislead people into believing we're in different circumstances than we are. Occasionally the topic of mortgages or house payments will come up, and I'll sometimes mention something along the lines of "it's a relief not having to worry about a mortgage" or "gratefully we got our house paid off a few years ago." I've also had the exact conversation about needing to mail off our property taxes, leading to the question of "why doesn't your mortgage pay it for you?"

Generally, those types of conversations only happen with people who are relatively similar-minded anyway, so when I say something to that effect, the response is rarely negative. Rather than "it must be nice" or some other snide remark, folks will most often be congratulatory, say they're working to pay theirs down with extra payments, or whatever else. I think expressing gratitude & humility when we talk about our circumstances also impacts the way that people receive it & the response that they'll give.