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Inheritances - did you get one or will you get one?

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    #16
    Originally posted by Drake3287 View Post
    My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home (during the first months of this pandemic) and divided up the proceeds among my siblings as was stipulated in her trust. We each received $150,000 plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

    For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. On the other hand this money has been life changing for some of my siblings who never had much money to begin with.
    Sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope the siblings who saw this as a windfall manage to handle it responsibly and use it to better their situations.

    And good for you for actually accepting the executor fee. I often hear of people not wanting to take it because they're afraid they're siblings will get upset by them getting more money, but it's a big job that takes a lot of time and effort. You deserve to be compensated for it.
    Steve

    * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
    * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
    * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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      #17
      Originally posted by Drake3287 View Post
      My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home (during the first months of this pandemic) and divided up the proceeds among my siblings as was stipulated in her trust. We each received $150,000 plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

      For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. On the other hand this money has been life changing for some of my siblings who never had much money to begin with.
      Will the $150k be enough for your siblings to retire? Or is it just making them more comfortable? Can I ask how is it life changing?
      LivingAlmostLarge Blog

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        #18
        Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

        And good for you for actually accepting the executor fee. I often hear of people not wanting to take it because they're afraid they're siblings will get upset by them getting more money, but it's a big job that takes a lot of time and effort. You deserve to be compensated for it.
        At first I wasn't sure if I'd except an executer fee but after having gone through the process it was clear to me that I had earned it. I also wondered how my siblings would react to it but I think they realize how much work I did compared to them. To make matters worse I was also named in my parents trust to set up and manage a Special Needs Trust for my 60 year old brother who has a long history of drug and homeless issues. This also allows for a fee for me but I'll wait and see how much time and energy it actually takes before excepting anything.

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          #19
          I only have 1 living grandparent and 1 living parent. I didn't receive an inheritance from any passed grandparent and my father was mentally ill,broke, and survived only as long as he did due to the financial graces of my brother and government assistance, so the only thing I received was half of his last social security check. I don't expect to get an inheritance from my grandparent as he'll likely split everything between my mom and uncle rather than making the split multi-generational, but I that makes sense to me, and frankly, I make good money and don't need the financial help. My mother is still working, but her job is physical and she definitely is looking to slow down in the years to come. She also doesn't make a ton (though I guess it goes a lot further now that she isn't raising and feeding 2 kids). She saves as much as she can, but she started saving for retirement much later due to raising us kids as a single parent getting not child support. I expect she's likely to get a rather large inheritance from her dad, as he worked hard, invested smartly, and has always been fiscally thrifty and all about saving. I'm thankful that my mom will end up getting that sort of buffer to help her be able to retire comfortably and not have to worry about penny pinching, running out of money, or having to ask her kids for money just to survive considering how hard she busted her butt raising my brother and I.

          Given that my mom is pretty healthy and I'm young (34), I don't expect to get any sort of inheritance for a LONG time. And if my mom has managed the money from her own inheritance wisely (which I know she will), then sure, some day I'll likely get something from my mom's estate and that will be split with my brother. But my brother retired under the FIRE movement several years ago at 31 or 32, and his wife retired about 2 years later. Neither of us will ever need an inheritance. By the time I get one, i surely hope that my mother has lived to a healthy old age to the point where I'm already retired (18 years to go until I have 30 years into federal service, haha). My brother is likely to also end up as executor of things because he already sits down with my mom annually to help her with her annual financial planning, so even though either of us is capable, he's more familiar with my mom's finances and is the oldest, so I wouldn't be surprised if that task goes to him.... though knowing him, he'd discuss everything with me and we'd probably work as a team since we are similar in our outlooks on finance and already bounce financial ideas off of each other when we're working through major things like home purchases, etc.

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            #20
            Originally posted by Drake3287 View Post
            My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home ....... plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

            For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. .
            Sorry for your loss, Drake.

            I was executor for my father's estate, while he didn't own a home (he was living with his partner in her home) when he passed, he was in the middle of building a cabin on property that was under contract for deed. Dealing with an estate is so overwhelming and exhausting in the middle of grief. I actually couldn't manage to track the time so I didn't ask for any compensation for it. In the end I resolved that I did it to honor my Dad. *Mostly* my siblings and I figured out how to divide our Dad's things where we all felt we received some of what we wanted. I'm so grateful that we could do it mostly without bad feelings.

            I recall a financial planner once told me that most people who receive inheritances spend through them within 8 years. As my Dad's death was sudden and a tragic accident, most of the money felt really bad to me so I invested most of it because it felt so bad.

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              #21
              Originally posted by GoodLiving View Post

              I recall a financial planner once told me that most people who receive inheritances spend through them within 8 years.
              That's true of most windfalls, because most people are really, really bad at managing money. Many lottery winners go broke, too.
              Steve

              * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
              * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
              * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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                #22
                My parents are extremely well off, having amassed a considerable real estate portfolio over 5 decades. However, I won't get a dime as I'm estranged from them (long story i will spare you the details of). One of my siblings - the "executor" - pretty much told me what was in their will and I was happy to know rhat they were giving me a token dollar (in case I ever contested their will, I suppose).

                As for my in-laws, they will leave their VERY modest possessions equally split between all their kids. My H may get around 75K. We're grateful that they're "fairer" than my folks are.

                My grandparents & his grandparents were all dirt poor, so no inheritance from any of them. My parents did an amazing job clawing their way out of poverty and my in-laws did modestly OK. They were all born very poor but will leave it as very wealthy (my parents) and middle class (his), respectively.

                We are middle class as well, but hoping to leave the Planet as people of means. We'll see.

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                  #23
                  Since I started this thread, I should ask how much of an inheritance do you think actually impacts people's lives? Does it have to be $100k? Or is it non-tangible like a paid for home?
                  LivingAlmostLarge Blog

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post
                    Since I started this thread, I should ask how much of an inheritance do you think actually impacts people's lives? Does it have to be $100k? Or is it non-tangible like a paid for home?
                    I think the amount that is significant will vary based on circumstances. If you earn 30K and inherit 100K, that's a much bigger deal than if you earn 300K and inherit 100K.
                    Steve

                    * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                    * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                    * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

                      I think the amount that is significant will vary based on circumstances. If you earn 30K and inherit 100K, that's a much bigger deal than if you earn 300K and inherit 100K.
                      I don't think an inheritance or lack thereof (my case and my parents' / inlaws' case) impacts one's financial well-being at all. This is why I am NOT going to contest my parents' will after their time. One is a question of self-respect. IF they had wanted me to have more than the token dollar they're supposedly leaving me (per my sibling), then they'd have given it to me with open minds and large, willing hearts. They didn't, so no point in trying to get it out of their estate once they're gone.

                      The second thing is how poor they all were when they were young and how NONE of them got an inheritance. In fact, of all of their numerous siblings, only my parents got out of poverty. The others were / are poor, although many of my cousins now lead decent middle-class lives as I am. The poverty they experienced as young kids actually spurred my parents to work their way out of it. They were up against great odds (neither went to college until much later in life). Both were working in their teens and they had NOTHING but a fierce ambition to "stop being poor".

                      Ironically but fittingly enough, I actually view my disinheritance as the reason I began to get so riled up about my finances. Until 2011, when I got cut off, I didn't really bother about "retirement" etc as I was guaranteed of a large inheritance (back then). When I did get cut off, after I'd made my peace with it, I got to work on our finances. The bull market helped as did Dave Ramsey and motivational books. So, IMO, NOT getting an inheritance was a positive change for me, as it was for my parents and my in-laws (my MIL dropped out at age 14 to take care of her younger siblings, FIL's mother died when he was 16 and he HAD to work to supplement his father's income because he also had several younger siblings he had to help his father provide for).

                      So, nope, inheritances don't really matter if you're motivated to be self-made. Too bad my folks didn't cut me off earlier ... I could have taken advantage of the tech boom of the 90s ... regrets regrets regrets!

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by Scallywag View Post

                        I don't think an inheritance or lack thereof (my case and my parents' / inlaws' case) impacts one's financial well-being at all.

                        So, nope, inheritances don't really matter if you're motivated to be self-made.
                        I assume you're referring specifically to your own situation, not speaking in general terms.

                        My wife and I are doing just fine on our own, but the inheritances we will likely receive will still have a significant effect.

                        We currently have about $1.5 million. When my cousin dies, I will inherit somewhere in the neighborhood of $1 million. It would be foolish to think that won't impact our financial well-being.
                        Steve

                        * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                        * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                        * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

                          I assume you're referring specifically to your own situation, not speaking in general terms.

                          My wife and I are doing just fine on our own, but the inheritances we will likely receive will still have a significant effect.

                          We currently have about $1.5 million. When my cousin dies, I will inherit somewhere in the neighborhood of $1 million. It would be foolish to think that won't impact our financial well-being.
                          It would have made a GREATER impact IF you hadn't bothered to also save & invest and be "well off" in your own right instead of just "relying" on an inheritance. No inheritance is guaranteed (as I learned) and a potential one should be merely treated as a nice "bonus" not as "mandatory" to your financial life.

                          Your financial life is your responsibility and not your rich elderly relatives' problem. A potential inheritance (or lack thereof) should never have any impact on your financial life except, as I stated above, as "a NICE BONUS"
                          Last edited by Scallywag; 11-20-2020, 04:18 PM.

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                            #28
                            Originally posted by Scallywag View Post
                            A potential inheritance (or lack thereof) should never have any impact on your financial life except, as I stated above, as "a NICE BONUS"
                            Gotcha. I think you and I were just interpreting "impact" differently. A "nice bonus" may still be a significant financial impact.

                            To use our situation again, if I get $1 million from my cousin and another $250K from my mom, there's no denying that will provide a more comfortable retirement than what we will have saved on our own. Do we need it? No. Will it make a difference? Absolutely.
                            Steve

                            * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                            * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                            * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

                              I think the amount that is significant will vary based on circumstances. If you earn 30K and inherit 100K, that's a much bigger deal than if you earn 300K and inherit 100K.
                              That's pretty much my thought on it. Depends alot on your situation, and the amount received. However, I'd also say that it depends a great deal on your readiness to accept & responsibly manage that money. Particularly if it is a relatively large (to the recipient) inheritance, that money can either enable them to live a great life, or it can be a curse in which they blow it, lose it, give it away, or get swindled .... All of these are entirely possible (if not likely) for someone without the maturity & responsibility to handle it.
                              "Praestantia per minutus" ... "Acta non verba"

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by kork13 View Post

                                That's pretty much my thought on it. Depends alot on your situation, and the amount received. However, I'd also say that it depends a great deal on your readiness to accept & responsibly manage that money. Particularly if it is a relatively large (to the recipient) inheritance, that money can either enable them to live a great life, or it can be a curse in which they blow it, lose it, give it away, or get swindled .... All of these are entirely possible (if not likely) for someone without the maturity & responsibility to handle it.
                                YES! That's a VERY shrewd observation. An inheritance can also be a curse, if the recipient is entirely unprepared or unable to handle it. One of my cousins is pretty much waiting for my uncle to die so that he can get the house (my uncle's sole asset). I tell my siblings that he would likely lose that home within 6 months of inheriting it. He is divorced with one (adult) child that he never sees. I hope my uncle leaves the home to the grandchild... her mother is a good woman, and raised the child as a single mom without a DIME in child support from my cousin.

                                I am willing to wager that my niece is likely MORE prepared and MORE able to handle an inheritance than her father is. I hope my uncle realizes it, too. IN FACT, I think my uncle realizes it and my cousin could be in for a VERY rude shock when he realizes - in due course - that his father's will has passed him over "in favor" of his own daughter.
                                Last edited by Scallywag; 11-21-2020, 01:48 PM.

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