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Inheritances - did you get one or will you get one?

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    Inheritances - did you get one or will you get one?

    How many people on this board got an inheritance or will get one? How much did you get? When did you get it? Did it change your life at all? It can also be a spouse or child? Also are you a recipient of a trust from a grandparent or family member who set up a trust to pay for your college education, etc? Are you planning on doing this for your children?

    I have not gotten an inheritance. I am not sure if either DH or I will get an inheritance. I have no idea what my in-laws have. I know what my parents have and they have very little. They were very spendthrift throughout their lifetime. They both saved very little and invested in nothing. I mean literally cash. So they have "hired" for years an investment broker from Merrill Lynch, Raymond James and lost a fortune. My parents are not smart with money. They are fools. They were also taken for a ride and their last broker was banned and fined by SEC. There was a news paper article about her. But hey "she was from a good family". It's small town mentality and anyone who grew up in a small town understands what I just wrong. But I didn't know anything about it until recently. Mostly because my parents have never seen me as an adult until recently at 40. The real truth is I am unsure how this will play out for my parents financially. Whatever. I hope that DH and I make enough to help provide for both my parents and his. I suspect his parents are well off.

    So getting an inheritance for us is probably slim to none. But we are doing well. And because of that I have recently been thinking a lot about our investments and our kids. I have turned into the parents of some of neighbors and friends. The other night at dinner our neighbors I was saying something about college and the mom said to me "Oh we don't have to worry, my in-laws have trusts set up for the kids. We don't have to save anything." More power to the in-laws for being fiscally responsible and grounded. I want to be them.

    So I have. I've been planning for both kids to have college paid for 100%. I also recently pulled back on saving for college and began funding their taxable investment accounts so I don't overinvest for college. But this is how systemically a lot of white families get ahead. They get help from their families. I cannot tell you the number of friends whose parents paid for college, their first car, help with down payment, wedding (for sure), and then their kids college funds.

    It's really hard. I speak from experience to have to do it all. DH and I have done a lot alone and I'm not sure where we are financially comparatively. I suspect ahead because we are responsible. But if we had gotten all that help we'd be ridiculously ahead. And yeah yeah it's great to stand on your own two feet. But it's even better to have help and still be responsible.

    Imagine this. I hope to raise two fiscally responsible and moral kids. They get good jobs at 22 and walk out with no college loans. I give them the condo/house I put a downpayment on $60k. I give them their first car $20k. I give the their investment account I've been saving and leaving alone worth $100k. I've stashed every penny they've worked into a Roth IRA at 22 and they have $20k. I gift their children $75k at birth for college 529 and I set up again $75k in taxable accounts for each of their kids at birth. Where will I helped place them financially for life?

    That's the exact life a lot of my friends have gotten. Help with college, home, kids education, etc. Not to mention free extravagent ski and summer holidays with their parents. It can make a difference.
    LivingAlmostLarge Blog

    #2
    We haven't gotten anything. MIL has $2M+ and is 76, so maybe in 30 years or so we might get some of that.

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      #3
      The only inheritance I've received thus far was <$1000 from my great grandmother when she passed in the early 2000s at 102 y/o. When my mother passed in ~2013, her retirement savings & such just transferred to my father. He's remarried now, and I don't know how he's got his will set up (though he's said he needs to re-do everything...it's been over a decade since it was updated). He's generally good with his money, and I assume I'll eventually get something, but no idea what, nor am I counting on it. I just learned a couple weeks ago that my grandmother (92 y/o & still healthy & sharp) has a family trust set up with money for all of her descendents in various amounts. She's never been wealthy, but as a depression-era baby, she's always been VERY careful with her money, so I expect I'll eventually receive a few thousand dollars upon her passing (hopefully not for another decade or more...which would not surprise any of us). From my mother's side of the family, I don't expect to receive any form of noteworthy inheritance. DW's family is not particularly financially savvy, though she may eventually receive something from her parents (healthy, in their 60s)....no idea.

      All of that to say that I/we have built our current wealth (presently orbiting ~$1.1M at 34y/o) on our own, and I fully anticipate leaving a sizeable family trust to provide for my children (maybe grandchildren & on down).

      Originally posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post
      Imagine this. I hope to raise two fiscally responsible and moral kids. They get good jobs at 22 and walk out with no college loans. I give them the condo/house I put a downpayment on $60k. I give them their first car $20k. I give the their investment account I've been saving and leaving alone worth $100k. I've stashed every penny they've worked into a Roth IRA at 22 and they have $20k. I gift their children $75k at birth for college 529 and I set up again $75k in taxable accounts for each of their kids at birth. Where will I helped place them financially for life?
      For me, this is exactly the scenario that I envision, and I feel zero guilt or shame about that fact. As long as they learn to be and are acting financially responsible, I have no qualms about setting them up for success.
      "Praestantia per minutus" ... "Acta non verba"

      Comment


        #4
        I honestly don't expect an inheritance from my parents, nor would I probably accept it, if given. I don't think my parents have a lot in retirement, but they're not broke or bad with money. The last time they helped me financially was co-signing for a student loan at age 19. I'm proud to say I've never had to ask or receive any charity from them since age 15, for getting part time job to pay for what I want. Probably the best financial lesson I received from them.

        I've heard nightmare stories of family members fighting over heirlooms or other assets. I've made it abundantly clear to my siblings, that there is nothing I want from my folks and prefer to stay out of it when that time comes. That could be a completely separate topic.

        I may not be a parent, but I think the best we can ask for, is for us to not be a burden to our parents financially even as adults. Same goes for them being dependent on us financially within their retirement years. Although just another reason why I'm holding onto more cash in case they need some assistance in the future.
        "I'd buy that for a dollar!"

        Comment


          #5
          I will receive two inheritances.

          1. My mother is 90 and doing about as well as a 90-year-old can do. I honestly don't know exactly how much she has but I'm assuming it's in the neighborhood of 200K. Assuming nothing happens during the remainder of her life that results in large care costs, I'll get that. Not a life-changing amount but still a nice chunk of change.

          2. My cousin is only 65 but unfortunately has metastatic cancer. He's doing well at the moment but we know his disease is incurable so it's just a matter of time before the treatment stops working and the disease kills him. He and I sat down not quite 2 years ago and reviewed all of his holdings and he was sitting at about $1.1 million. I don't know the current value. I'm sure his house has appreciated as have his stock holdings, but he's also drawing down his IRA by about $3,000/month. He's probably got no more than 2-3 years left at this point, maybe less. Even if I get 700K after taxes and expenses, that is still enough to change my retirement trajectory depending on when it is received.
          Steve

          * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
          * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
          * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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            #6
            Nope and don't need one. My 2 siblings on the other hand will inherit 50% each of my 3/4 million net worth that is developed in my trust/will.

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              #7
              I received 2K from my grandmother. (We put that money into DS's college fund). I figure we spent about 2k trying to get DH's Mom's estate settled--so we are net zero.

              I don’t expect any further inheritance.
              Last edited by Like2Plan; 10-20-2020, 08:59 PM.

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                #8
                We have good relationships with our parents and elders but expect/plan to receive nothing. Anything they have will go to the cost of their care in accordance with their wishes. Beyond that, there are people in our family who need anything that’s left more than my husband and I. All I want are a few sentimental items of little/no value for keepsake. There is a car my father and I restored together and, without me asking, he’s already told me if it’s still around when he passes, that it’s mine. Also not of significant value and is something I will keep.

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                  #9
                  I received $2K from a distant aunt in the late 70s when she was still living. DH's parents are deceased and were frugal to the bone as Depression era children. DH and his siblings were fortunate and split a moderate estate. My 88 year old mother is still living and I am the executor for her living trust. I have 4 siblings and there is a small estate (basically only her home) to split. She has cash set aside that is earmarked for any medical needs. She has also bequeathed some stocks (SCE) separately to one of my brothers since he lives the closest to her and spends the most time with her.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I received some money from my grandmother when I was in high school.
                    It was used to pay for undergrad college.

                    I am an only child, so I will be receiving something from both of my parents.
                    I don't know exactly how much.

                    My dad has maybe a little over $100K
                    My mom on the other hand has millions.
                    I don't know the number, or how much I will inherit



                    Brian

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                      #11
                      I hope that my mom spends every last penny she has, enjoying herself immensely in the process. Her money is for her.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Petunia 100 View Post
                        I hope that my mom spends every last penny she has, enjoying herself immensely in the process. Her money is for her.
                        That's a nice thought in theory, but of course it's not how it goes in reality. My mom is 90. She lives alone in a 1-bedroom apartment. Even before COVID, she really didn't go out all that much and now doesn't go out at all. I don't know what she would possibly spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars doing even if she wanted to spend it all. And you can't spend it all anyway because what happens then? What do you live on? I'd hate for her to exhaust her savings and be stuck scraping by on SS alone. So I actually hope that she still has a good amount of money left when she dies so that she never has to worry about her income for the rest of her life.
                        Last edited by disneysteve; 10-21-2020, 10:04 AM.
                        Steve

                        * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                        * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                        * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I have a very small family. My mother was an only child and while her parents might have had more money then my Dad's. It flowed differently. We did not receive any inheritance from any grandparent when they died, it went to their child/ren (nothing directly to us grandchildren as individuals upon death) My mother's Dad died when I was quite young and my maternal grandmother showed her love through money. My two siblings and I completed our bachelors without debt, received down payment assistance with our first homes and had extras like bikes and study abroad trips in high school. At the end of my maternal grandmother's life, she was just about out of money and my (divorced) mother had received some support as she was out of work for a few years. While my parents income was small, we had everything we needed and more. On my Dad's side of the family, any money after my paternal grandfather went to support my grandmother in her home with healthcare providers for years. After her death any assets went to the children(he had a brother and sister) so the grandchildren didn't see anything individually. My mother is 79 and very frugal with the money she has and I assume and hope she will use her assets for her remaining years. It's hard though because she learned to show her love through money and despite her fixed income, she gives financial gifts and is terribly independent. I've left some checks uncashed and refuse reimbursement when she offers for purchases I make for her. When my Dad was killed, his resources were split between my siblings and I and there was also a lawsuit settlement. I think we all received about $150k each. My siblings have no children and I have one. I don't expect my sibs to leave everything to my child but I know one of them plans to. We are all self sufficient and while none of us are wealthy, I expect we will all be financial fine, we some how learned good money skills. I have attempted to provide my child with a bachelors education with no debt but it didn't work out, I am matching student loan payments and there's less than $7000 to go. My child hasn't found the roots yet to purchase a home and so I don't know if I would be able to help with a down payment. My child only has me as a parent, the other parent is deceased was indigent.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by bjl584 View Post
                            I received some money from my grandmother when I was in high school.
                            It was used to pay for undergrad college.

                            I am an only child, so I will be receiving something from both of my parents.
                            I don't know exactly how much.

                            My dad has maybe a little over $100K
                            My mom on the other hand has millions.
                            I don't know the number, or how much I will inherit
                            How did you grow up poor if your mom has millions?

                            Interesting question is how much do people typically inherit?
                            LivingAlmostLarge Blog

                            Comment


                              #15
                              My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home (during the first months of this pandemic) and divided up the proceeds among my siblings as was stipulated in her trust. We each received $150,000 plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

                              For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. On the other hand this money has been life changing for some of my siblings who never had much money to begin with.

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