Advice on divorce attorneys.

[Bob B.]

Looking for advice for saving money - responsibly - on my divorce attorney. In other words, I don't want to cheap out. I want him to do the best job possible for me. But, are there things I can prepare ahead of time that will save time down the line.

I've already retained 10 hours of his time. For those of you who have gone through a divorce (with minor children), how many hours can I figure it will take my attorney. I know that it depends on how negotiations go with my wife, so maybe there isn't a ball park answer. But just trying to get some ideas. As always, TIA.

[Petunia 100]

When my now ex-husband and I divorced, neither of us had an attorney. We made our own agreement, then hired a paralegal to file the paperwork. Our children were 10 and 15 at the time.

Before filing, I had researched the laws in my state, to see what a court would likely order. I shared this information with my now ex-husband, then made him an offer. We both got what we wanted most, and neither of us tried anything under-handed, so it worked fine. He got the larger share of our joint assets, but I was OK with that. We agreed to 50-50 legal custody, which kept the court out of our arrangements. We decided when the kids were with which parent on which days, etc.

If two people argue over every little thing, the divorce will be quite expensive. In my opinion, it is better for everyone if the two of you can both agree to a reasonable settlement. When all is said and done, the two of you still have minor children to parent. Even though it is not easy, you will both have to put your relationship problems aside and work together parenting until your children are adults. May as well start now.

[Singuy]

A friend of mine is going through a nasty divorce. The lawyer the ex-wife got is very cut throat and has dragged this on for 3 years. They would agree verbally on something and the lawyer would purposely send a modified document over to sign with things not discussed or has obvious errors. It's ridiculous how much time and money this has dragged on and it's a battle of attrition.

[Lawal5166]

Is still anyone here who could recommend me a real AFFORDABLE divorce lawyer?

[takekuma]

Hey there, I just went through a divorce myself, and I was lucky to find some affordable lawyers who helped me out. If you need a contact, this is their website: https://www.moorefamilylawgroup.com/. They have all the details and instructions on how to contact them.

[QuarterMillionMan]

Why marry? As a single guy with significant assets, I would never marry and possibly lose half of my net worth.

[AJSimon]

Why marry? As a single guy with significant assets, I would never marry and possibly lose half of my net worth.

Get a prenup.

[srblanco7]

A friend of mine is going through a nasty divorce. The lawyer the ex-wife got is very cut throat and has dragged this on for 3 years. They would agree verbally on something and the lawyer would purposely send a modified document over to sign with things not discussed or has obvious errors. It's ridiculous how much time and money this has dragged on and it's a battle of attrition.

The war of attrition. Only the lawyers win.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Get a prenup.

Prenups aren't ironclad

It's in the lawyers best interest you argue and fight. Currently our friends are going to start a divorce and my DH say says at least 2 years I am hoping they are done in 4 years. I can't get a read if the husband will agree to get done faster or not. What i do know is the wife is not going to be happy with the settlement no matter what. My suspicion is that she'll never be happy.

[AJSimon]

Prenups aren't ironclad

It's in the lawyers best interest you argue and fight. Currently our friends are going to start a divorce and my DH say says at least 2 years I am hoping they are done in 4 years. I can't get a read if the husband will agree to get done faster or not. What i do know is the wife is not going to be happy with the settlement no matter what. My suspicion is that she'll never be happy.

Nothing is ironclad, but it's not hard for a competent family law attorney to draft one that will ultimately hold up in divorce court years hence. Certain simple rules need to be observed. The fashionable online meme that judges throw them out all time is just selection bias. When the prenup is observed in a divorce proceeding, you don't see one of ex-spouses showing up online after the fact to celebrate it.

But as an aside, one thing that a prenup negotiation will do for an engaged couple is force them into just the kind of uncomfortable conversation they're going to need to get good at having if they want the marriage to last (for this reason, pre-marriage counseling is also a must, IMO). And if nothing else, both parties sitting down with an attorney before they wed will give them an education as to what it exactly means when they voluntarily opt out of the title system - because most people haven't the slightest clue.

[disneysteve]

I've got no life experience to contribute here but just want to point out that this thread is from 2020 and got dredged up by a new poster.

That said, you really can't get advice for a lawyer on an internet forum like this. I can tell you who the best divorce lawyer in my area is but unless you live nearby, that's of no use to you. You need someone local so seek out opinions from people around you like friends, family members, and coworkers who know your situation. Ask in local Facebook groups (you can always post anonymously).

[myrdale]

My great grandfather is in a well on the back side of our property where my great grandmother put him after finding out about an affair in the 1940's. She dragged a chicken coop over on top of the well with two mules, then set it on fire. There is still a mess of tin visible with several burned mattress springs and general garbage on top of it through the pine straw. The mistress was supposedly feed to their hogs. Even in death she wasn't going to be permitted to sleep with him.

From what my grandfather told me, no one in the town seemed to mind Ted had "moved out of state", my grandfather didn't miss the beatings in his absence. The mistress's family raised a bit of a stink, but his mother insisted "She must have left with Ted. Go take it up with Ted".

Sorry for being a day late in posting my response.

[QuarterMillionMan]

At first my mind could not comprehend "is in a well." But upon further reading it still warped my mind but a very fascinating story to read.