WEDDING - 401k

[Pookiebear]

I am struggling with what is the best idea regarding my upcoming wedding. I am going to need to have more money coming in to afford it. I am working extra already. Which is the better option: 1) Decrease contribution to 401k to 1% for the time being (currently I'm contributing 15%; I'm a bit worried that taxes will deplete the amount I get back) Or 2) borrow a loan for 10k from my own 401k (I would have to pay myself back with 4.5% interest, which would deduct from each paycheck until paid off)

What does everyone think??

[disneysteve]

Absolutely DO NOT take a loan from your 401k. Not now, not ever. Just forget that option even exists. It's a horrible thing to do.

If you can't afford the wedding you are planning, change the plans to something you can afford.

I wouldn't have a huge problem with trimming the 401k contribution some, maybe to 12% or even 10% temporarily, but if you need to cut from 15% to 1%, you are just planning something that is beyond your means.

[ua_guy]

Reduce the size/scope of the wedding to fit your planned budget, or temporarily reduce your 401k contribution briefly if it's just a matter of having some extra cash in the tight month of the wedding. I don't think going into debt or borrowing is a good idea.

I believe the number one cause of failed marriages is money. Inviting that problem into your marriage starting with the day you get hitched isn't a good idea.

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

I am struggling with what is the best idea regarding my upcoming wedding. I am going to need to have more money coming in to afford it. I am working extra already. Which is the better option: 1) Decrease contribution to 401k to 1% for the time being (currently I'm contributing 15%; I'm a bit worried that taxes will deplete the amount I get back) Or 2) borrow a loan for 10k from my own 401k (I would have to pay myself back with 4.5% interest, which would deduct from each paycheck until paid off)

What does everyone think??

DO you get matching funds? Just drop it down to the matching fund money, so you're not losing that free money.

[bjl584]

Reduce the cost of the wedding. Financing a wedding is dumb. Financing a wedding with a 401K loan is dumber still.

I'd spend no more than you can comfortably afford based on your current savings. Everyone loves to see celebrities on tv with their $2 million dollar weddings, but that just isn't realistic or practical. If you only have $5000 to work with, then you shouldn't spend more than $5000.

I'd gladly have a cheap wedding if it meant that I'd have more money for a house or for retirement.

[rennigade]

Ive been seeing a lot of 1st posts popping up lately with some pretty odd questions. More importantly questions that will stir up the pot so to speak. Im starting to see a trend of troll behavior.

Whether the question/answers may be good for some people to learn from...I still think it has troll written all over it.

Another thread that really stuck out was the wedding ring for $18k one. We havent heard a peep from the op in that one. Im willing to bet the op in this thread will not be heard from again either. And if they are its just because I posted this.

[disneysteve]

Ive been seeing a lot of 1st posts popping up lately with some pretty odd questions. More importantly questions that will stir up the pot so to speak. Im starting to see a trend of troll behavior.

Whether the question/answers may be good for some people to learn from...I still think it has troll written all over it.

Another thread that really stuck out was the wedding ring for $18k one. We havent heard a peep from the op in that one. Im willing to bet the op in this thread will not be heard from again either. And if they are its just because I posted this.

Troll or not, I think questions like this are worth discussing. As you point it, it may be beneficial to others. As a site moderator, I'm perfectly fine with posts like these, even if they turn out to be fake, because it gives us all an opportunity to share good info.

[Petunia 100]

Reduce the cost of the wedding. Financing a wedding is dumb. Financing a wedding with a 401K loan is dumber still.

I'd spend no more than you can comfortably afford based on your current savings. Everyone loves to see celebrities on tv with their $2 million dollar weddings, but that just isn't realistic or practical. If you only have $5000 to work with, then you shouldn't spend more than $5000.

I'd gladly have a cheap wedding if it meant that I'd have more money for a house or for retirement.

I agree. Another option is to postpone the wedding to give yourselves longer to save up.

[siggy_freud]

FWIW I got married 6 months ago. We had a very small (18 people) wedding at a very nice hotel on the 36th floor in downtown. It cost us ~$3,200 total including really good food and drink. It was a very intimate wedding and subsequently all my friends getting married have abandoned their large plans to do something small and intimate like ours, with the side benefit of being way cheaper than the average wedding.

I say that for anyone who thinks they need an expensive wedding for it to be memorable and great. It's simply not true.

[Pookiebear]

Thanks

I'm definitely not a "troll"... Lol! I found this forum because I really wanted to get other people's opinions! I have been struggling with what to do for the past couple of months. Thank you to those of you who gave me advice.

[MonkeyMama]

I agree with the others.

& let's face it, a $3200 or $5000 wedding is still a ridiculous luxury, by most any standard. (I understand some of the comments are in regards to how modest a $3200 or $5000 is in today's culture. Fair enough. But it isn't that modest if you look at weddings 20 years ago. It's only in recent history that weddings have become ridiculously Jonesy affairs for the middle class).

[siggy_freud]

I agree with the others.

& let's face it, a $3200 or $5000 wedding is still a ridiculous luxury, by most any standard. (I understand some of the comments are in regards to how modest a $3200 or $5000 is in today's culture. Fair enough. But it isn't that modest if you look at weddings 20 years ago. It's only in recent history that weddings have become ridiculously Jonesy affairs for the middle class).

Not quite sure that's accurate. A few webpages (MotherJones being one) cites the average cost of a wedding as far back as 1980 costing $4,376, and jumping to $15,000 by 1990. That's 24 years ago. Now I'm not arguing for the merits of dropping loads of money on a wedding, but simply stating that spending a chunk of change on weddings isn't necessarily a new affair.

Yes, $3,200 is still a good bit of money, but in comparison to the 2013 average of nearly $30,000, we spent nearly 10% of the average cost. Now, unless you plan to cook for and feed 18 people (plus yourselves), you're not getting away with a whole lot less. Since we were spending less elsewhere (and because my wife is a foodie) we opted to spend a bit more on the spread, and rather than go buffet we did a small menu with made-to-order food.

So looking even at wedding costs in 1990 ($15,000), $3,200 is still very modest.

[MonkeyMama]

Not quite sure that's accurate. A few webpages (MotherJones being one) cites the average cost of a wedding as far back as 1980 costing $4,376, and jumping to $15,000 by 1990. That's 24 years ago.

Yes, $3,200 is still a good bit of money, but in comparison to the 2013 average of nearly $30,000, we spent nearly 10% of the average cost. Now, unless you plan to cook for and feed 18 people (plus yourselves), you're not getting away with a whole lot less.

Okay, so 24 years ago. That is precisely what I am talking about. The average wedding cost tripled in just one decade! (Not surprising that was the 1980s when that happened).

The only necessary expense to get married is the marriage license. Anything else beyond that is a luxury.

FWIW, My wedding cost much more than $3,200. I am not picking on anyone who spent a lot of money on their wedding. I am just pointing out what it is. It's a luxury that is ridiculous to go into debt over.

[JulieAlbright]

Well, I'm just going to say this.

You need to ask yourself. Do you want to invest in your wedding or do you want to invest in your life? Because that's really the choices you've laid out here.

[Marcus00]

Agree with what others are saying. You shouldn't remember your wedding as something that ruined your future. Sometimes this one loan that you are planning to takefor youe wedding may ruin your marriage too.
Organize a small wedding that you can afford, with just close friends and family. There are many people who get married like that, in a quite small event.
All the best for your wedding and I hope you will make a good decision.