Wedding gifts

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I am stuck for a wedding gift amount. How much do most people give for wedding presents? I just went to a friend's wedding and I typically give $100. But she's a very old friend, actually was a bridesmaid in my wedding (I had 2 attendants and she was one). So I am not sure is that enough? I did fly for her wedding but will it make me look "cheap"? I think she gave me $100 gift but I could be wrong. I also was not in her wedding just her sister stood up for her.

Thoughts?

[snafu]

It's often less expensive to give something from the gift registry since couples pick stuff at different price points. According to Forbes, anything less than $35. seems cheap since food, drinks and entertainment has been provided. Your relationship to the couple is the major factor, the closer you are the higher cost. Giving cash starts at $50. and increases to $75. or $ 100. If you are wealthy feel free to give more.

[LMA]

Why does the amount matter? Shouldn't it be the present that counts? Find something that she really want/needs and then buy it if you can or find something that meets both her criteria and your budget.

What I am saying is that you don't HAVE to spend a $100 if you find a suitable gift for say, $50...

[disneysteve]

This is always a topic of debate. Here are my thoughts.

1. Give what YOU want to give and what YOU can afford.

That's really the main rule. That said, here are some other thoughts.

2. "Typical" wedding gift amounts vary greatly by location. What is "normal" in NYC is very different than what is "normal" in Georgia.

3. How much you give may be influenced by how close you are to the couple and how many of you are attending the wedding. If just my wife and I go, we give less than if our daughter is a guest also.

4. You can often give a "better" gift by choosing off the registry rather than giving cash if you can find a good deal on the item. The couple won't know what you actually spent. We've purchased many wedding gifts at factory outlet stores for that reason. Something listed for $100 might only be $40 at the outlet. For couples we were close with, we still spent $100 but got them a lot more that way, like 6 crystal wine glasses instead of 2 at regular price.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Their registry was bought up already. Very short list probably because they are older and so not much else to get them. I may just give them a bottle of wine since they are wine people. The wedding was in Napa and they are in 3 wine clubs.

[disneysteve]

I may just give them a bottle of wine since they are wine people. The wedding was in Napa and they are in 3 wine clubs.

It they are wine aficionados, be careful about a gift of wine unless you are familiar with what they like. Perhaps you can look into some type of wine experience, like tickets to a local tasting event or a gift certificate to a restaurant known for their wine cellar.

[cypher1]

Overall amount shouldnt matter. As others said give what you can afford and whatever feels right. Personally i do give 200 to my sisters weddings, and very close friends. But i tend to plan ahead for those ocassions and dont have large expenses besides mortgage. For others 50 max.

[BudgetSurgeon]

This is one of my biggest personal pet peeves, and I disagree vehemently with my wife on this. She grew up believing that as a guest your are obligated to pay for your share of the wedding reception. I grew up believing that you minimize the amount you give on these types of gifts, and you have no obligation whatsoever to pay the exorbitant "fees" that some couples feel that you are compelled to pay for their wedding.

What's wrong with a backyard wedding? Something cheap and affordable for everyone? Why should you have to pay $250/person to pay for some wild shindig at some posh place, when 60% of all weddings wind up in divorce or separation?

I may be extremely cynical here, but save your cash, and give a small present that you feel comfortable with. Quit keeping up with the Joneses!!!!!

[elessar78]

This is one of my biggest personal pet peeves, and I disagree vehemently with my wife on this. She grew up believing that as a guest your are obligated to pay for your share of the wedding reception. I grew up believing that you minimize the amount you give on these types of gifts, and you have no obligation whatsoever to pay the exorbitant "fees" that some couples feel that you are compelled to pay for their wedding.

What's wrong with a backyard wedding? Something cheap and affordable for everyone? Why should you have to pay $250/person to pay for some wild shindig at some posh place, when 60% of all weddings wind up in divorce or separation?

I may be extremely cynical here, but save your cash, and give a small present that you feel comfortable with. Quit keeping up with the Joneses!!!!!

Wow. That IS cynical. But I don't think you're wrong or at least too far out there.

I hate the social pressure of having to give. It really shouldn't matter if you're friends, but on some level it does. The ridiculous thing is that these things just "go around". Let's say I was given $100 by an uncle. Now I feel obligated to give $100 at his daughter's wedding. Now you get into the "do I adjust for inflation" argument if the events are years apart. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative of the loot we received and I've known "friends" who were really taking note of who gave what. I think it's a crappy existence to be always going tit for tat.

Personally, I love to receive cash so that's what I give. When I was just out of college and less worldly I gave an embarrasingly low gift ($25) to which I did not receive a thank you card. I didn't realize that that was low at the time or that you should "cover your bar tab".

[DebtFree&Broke]

When we buy wedding gifts we spend $20-$30

[BudgetSurgeon]

Wow. That IS cynical. But I don't think you're wrong or at least too far out there.

I hate the social pressure of having to give. It really shouldn't matter if you're friends, but on some level it does. The ridiculous thing is that these things just "go around". Let's say I was given $100 by an uncle. Now I feel obligated to give $100 at his daughter's wedding. Now you get into the "do I adjust for inflation" argument if the events are years apart. Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative of the loot we received and I've known "friends" who were really taking note of who gave what. I think it's a crappy existence to be always going tit for tat.

Personally, I love to receive cash so that's what I give. When I was just out of college and less worldly I gave an embarrasingly low gift ($25) to which I did not receive a thank you card. I didn't realize that that was low at the time or that you should "cover your bar tab".

In my wife's family, it has become a total "keeping up with the Joneses". Some of her family members actually keep computer lists of what people gave at weddings, and that becomes the topic of conversation at family get-togethers, over what people gave (and what people didn't give). People are judged by how much they gave. It's totally out-of-control, if you ask me, and it's not about celebrating people's weddings any more, it's about how much you give relative to others.

What a joke, IMO ! Here's a great "cynical" solution, however. Tell whomever is getting married in your family that you will give them $50 (or whatever your amount is) at the time of the wedding. and that you will give them another $50, if they are still married after 10 years. However, if they divorce during this time, then they are on the hook to reimburse you for the initial $50. Maybe we can help the average marriage length increase by doing this. Come to think of it, maybe I can start a "marriage club" business, that puts this money in escrow for future payment, with all interest payments on the money going to the broker (me). Yeah, now that's an idea...........

[parafly]

My wife and I typically gift $250 for a wedding.

[Redraidernurse]

50 for a casual friend. 100 for a close friend/family

[NuggetBrain]

In my wife's family, it has become a total "keeping up with the Joneses". Some of her family members actually keep computer lists of what people gave at weddings, and that becomes the topic of conversation at family get-togethers, over what people gave (and what people didn't give). People are judged by how much they gave. It's totally out-of-control, if you ask me, and it's not about celebrating people's weddings any more, it's about how much you give relative to others.

What a joke, IMO ! Here's a great "cynical" solution, however. Tell whomever is getting married in your family that you will give them $50 (or whatever your amount is) at the time of the wedding. and that you will give them another $50, if they are still married after 10 years. However, if they divorce during this time, then they are on the hook to reimburse you for the initial $50. Maybe we can help the average marriage length increase by doing this. Come to think of it, maybe I can start a "marriage club" business, that puts this money in escrow for future payment, with all interest payments on the money going to the broker (me). Yeah, now that's an idea...........

The $50 for ten years or reimbursement is a joke, right....

A backyard wedding in Boston can cost just as much as a church & ballroom blowout in Kentucky.

[BudgetSurgeon]

The $50 for ten years or reimbursement is a joke, right....

A backyard wedding in Boston can cost just as much as a church & ballroom blowout in Kentucky.

A joke? I guess you haven't heard of my new business, www [dot] Defer_Your_Wedding_Gifts_And_Save_A_Bundle [dot] com