Stupid Question

[ActYourWage]

If you don't want nor even like kids, I can't see how you can understand the love one has for the life growing inside.

This little one is kicking and already making his (her?) personality known, I have no intentions of killing him (her) just because we are temporarily out of work.

Thank you for that post!

It makes you wonder if people realize they were a kid once and their mothers WANTED them. For most people, money should not be the deciding factor when deciding to have kids.

[cicy33]

Thank you for that post!

It makes you wonder if people realize they were a kid once and their mothers WANTED them. For most people, money should not be the deciding factor when deciding to have kids.

Exactly, money should be one of the factors but love is so much more important. I have seen people with money who were terrible parents. I have seen people with no money who are great parents and I have seen the other sides too.

[BlackDiamond]

If I was never born, I would not be any the wiser so it would be a moot point. Not everyone is a Christian and not everyone believes that life begins at conception.

I really don't care if people have kids when they are poor if they aren't leeching off my tax dollars to raise kids that were not planned. My fiance's family was dirt poor when they had him but they never went on welfare and they just worked odd jobs etc. to raise him. I don't want to pay to feed and clothe someone else's kid. Not when I was responsible enough to not have kids I couldn't afford.

I live in a ghetto area where this problem is rampant. Most of these people don't speak english, don't work, hang around drinking on their front stoop all day (I have witnessed this on my days off, several times) and often have 3 or 4 kids before age 30 with multiple partners. I also see it in my job because I deal in high fraud auto insurance. The town I live in has the one of the highest rates of fraud in the state. As part of my job, I learn a lot about these people. Often they have several kids with different last names (ie. different baby daddies) and half the time they are pregnant with another one.

They are almost never employed and often report their income as state funded welfare services or WIC. They are almost always on public health care. Yet somehow, the cars they are in are always BMWs or nice SUVs. It infuriates me. It sickens me, actually. I know these things to be a fact BECAUSE THEY TELL ME. They have to if they want to go forth with their claims.

It's disgusting. I have no respect for these people, they are dirtbags and I personally believe they should not have any more kids. Their kids usually grow up and do the same thing.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

BlackDiamond, WIC is not income.

[BlackDiamond]

Well they report it as a source of income when I ask. I have to grill these people as to how they pay their bills and support their brood of illegitamate kids when I talk to them. It gives a very good idea as to whether or not they have motivation to commit fraud. When they get away with their fraud, it raises premiums for everyone. So don't feel sorry for them.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Are you trying to sell them something? Are you trying to find out whether they are due an insurance pay-out? I never had to disclose my income sources for anything related to insurance, as far as I can remember. Certainly I never had to reveal where a portion my kid's food or a portion of my food when nursing an infant came from (that is what WIC is---food).

Updated Puzzlement: Housing benefits claim? I'm trying to figure out what kind of claim requires disclosing income and its sources.

[BlackDiamond]

They want money from us.

They report a claim to us and if certain red flags go off, it is my job to get a recorded statement with information from them, including ALL sources of income, how many children, how many baby daddies (sorry but that term cracks me up because these women always have kids from at least 3 men) and generally get an overall picture of their life.

You have probably never been asked this when putting in a claim with your insurance company because you are not sketchy/don't have a huge claims history/don't have any fraud indicators.

[PetMom]

With my forum name here it might be obvious:

I always wanted dogs instead of kids.

Many more people are now open to actually referring to themselves as pet parents.

I did have 5 dogs but we lost two to old age/illness last summer and decided to get
only one more - because of costs of pets.

The costs of pet care now is very high.

We got new vets that charge less and actually will work with a client and not push useless tests.

You have to get firm about what you will let vets talk you into and openly set financial boundaries quickly. Petmeds has a lot of info and feedback on do it yourself items for you dogs health that are safe and effective. This has been a big savings.

But get rid of one of my dogs because of costs and ability to pay? Not an option. They motivated me to be serious about an EF - and a good motivation it has been.

Also: having pets my whole life have never ever had any breakins, burglaries or crime. Having a dog 'hardens' a target for criminals. They are truly security.

[Radiance]

They also lower blood pressure and remind you to be silly, so it might translate on savings on your own health expenses. I agree with deciding NOT to have a dog for financial reasons. But once you got one, I dont agree on letting them go for financial reasons.


As per abortion, I would never do it, putting a baby for adoption maybe if things were really really bad.
However, I cannot judge others that do it, I am not in their shoes. Who am I to point a finger?
If a friend comes to me with that idea, I would certainly encourage her to consider a bunch of reasons why not to do it,but they would still be MY reasons. I would not support her, not can I be there for her when she does, but I would not take her from my book and I would help her though the aftermath.

[Radiance]

I have no respect for these people, they are dirtbags and I personally believe they should not have any more kids. Their kids usually grow up and do the same thing.

This brings a good point, the new generation of kids don't know any other reality, the chain of multiple partners and babies, the laziness and irresponsibility is what they learn, that is the 'normal' for them, that is the way the world is.

I've seen the cycle broken only when one of these kids gets a mentor outside his family. Such as Big brothers/Big sisters.

I have compassion more than disgust, their existance is very bad, often filled with violence and a lot of feeling worthless, disease and abandonment. No skills to beter themselves, let alone find themselves. No one to show them the way and yes, meanwhile I pay that with my taxes, ugh?