Stupid Question

[cptacek]

So are you all arguing for a stop to perpetual welfare?

[Andrew Jackson]

I would never be stupid enough to get knocked up when I couldn't afford a kid. Made it through my teens and 20's before getting my tubes tied when I realized at 27 I would never be able to afford kids. I'm 33 now and I still can't afford a kid so it was the right choice.

Life sucks sometimes and children are a want not a need. I'd like to take a cruise to the south of france also, but I can't afford that either so I'm not going out an doing it. Sometimes, you have to give up things you want because you can't afford them. Why do people have such a hard time grasping this concept?

I'm not sure what to say, and don't want to come off as mean but how is it possible that you have absolutely no money to go on a cruise or have kids some point in your life? I would assume your are financially responsible, at least you are now since you frequent this site. We must have very different views on how much money is needed to be saved away? I certainly do not make a lot of money, but I'm still able to save up a decent lump sum throughout the year even after going on a vacation.

[cptacek]

I'm not sure what to say, and don't want to come off as mean but how is it possible that you have absolutely no money to go on a cruise or have kids some point in your life? I would assume your are financially responsible, at least you are now since you frequent this site. We must have very different views on how much money is needed to be saved away? I certainly do not make a lot of money, but I'm still able to save up a decent lump sum throughout the year even after going on a vacation.

This post explains a lot:

http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/debt/52109-celebrating-less-than-10k-total-debt-2.html#post254707

[Andrew Jackson]

This post explains a lot:
http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/d...tml#post254707

Interesting. She is able to save up over $1,000 a month though.

[ActYourWage]

And how people who are "anti-debt" Dave Ramsey justifies it when quite a few of his listeners are on public assistance.

What are you basing this on? DR has ALOT of listeners that like to just listen to his show. DR calls people out all the time about stepping up and taking charge of their life.

BTW - Pets should be the first to go...

@cptacek

Your story about your sister and BIL nailed it. They made things happen. Nice job.

The public assistance is to help out for a a brief time, not to live by it. That is where America is going wrong. Too many people are expecting hand outs.

[ActYourWage]

I don't find abortion heinous personally. I am an atheist who believes life does not begin until the baby is viable outside the womb. So therefore, I really don't/understand the problem with suggesting that a woman who can't afford to have a kid NOT HAVE IT.

I guess you're glad your mother didn't believe in it at your birth.

When people are bettering themselves financially or are striving to, children should not be considered a hinderance.

[ActYourWage]

So are you all arguing for a stop to perpetual welfare?

Or at least make it MUCH MUCH more strict to obtain.

[nmboone]

Ya'll just reminded me to take my birth control. Thanks!

[jIM_Ohio]

If you can get the pet to do some stupid pet tricks, you might make the money back.

LOL
I am not a pet lover, just posting to needle the others

[Radiance]

I am not a pet lover, just posting to needle the others

That was mean...

[KTP]

<snip>
Life sucks sometimes and children are a want not a need. I'd like to take a cruise to the south of france also, but I can't afford that either so I'm not going out an doing it. Sometimes, you have to give up things you want because you can't afford them. Why do people have such a hard time grasping this concept?

Are you really suggesting that a person who wants kids should be a burden to society through welfare and food stamps etc. just because they want to make sure they can have kids young? Wow...

LOL you don't stand a chance in hell of winning an argument on here suggesting that people should be responsible when having kids. I'll give you props for trying though, but you are doomed to failure.

The funniest thing I saw was a mom in a *green* hybrid SUV with a "stop global warming" bumper sticker loading in her 5 kids. In the end, everyone does whatever makes them happy, it will never change.

[PrincessPerky]

Kids are a touchy subject, while one person feels life doesn't begin till after birth (the kicking this kid is doing begs to differ, I certainly am not kicking myself in the bladder!)
Another feels all life is precious, and begins much earlier.

I have a terribly NonPC correct theory...folk should stop encouraging everyone to have kids! I can't tell you how many times I hear a new bride be told 'I can't wait till you have kids'.

Now obviously I like kids, and I certainly have no interest in telling someone what they should or should not do as far as kids go.

But I don't go telling every woman to get her reproduction moving.

But parenting isn't for everyone, neither are cats, dogs, a career in the military. Folk are not all identical. Stop making folk feel marriage is just s stepping stone to having kids!

Money wise, I think many overestimate how much children must cost, and many underestimate how much they spend on their own.

Now welfare is a whole 'nother can of worms.....

[Mjenn]

I think it's something a lot of women 'of a certain age' consider from a finacial perspective. Sadly, it is the main reason my husband and I decided to spend a few more years living in Europe rather than returning stateside. When we calculated how much we would need to earn to live the same lifestyle we lead here, it was too much to be reasonable. Not to mention, here he can actually get paternity leave, which he is very much looking forward to.

Our child is now 6 weeks, and according to our calculations, it wouldn't make financial sense to go to the states until our kids (it we decide to have more) reach school age.

Maybe we will give in and move earlier, maybe we will decide to stay here longer - but the numbers were a part of our family planning.

[cicy33]

Okay for the people that say don't have kids until you can afford them. What is your number? Or is there specific criteria that you have? I had a child very young. It was not on purpose. Things do happen! However, we managed and she is very responsible happy mom of two now. She wasn't super expensive. We always had food on the table, lights on and I even managed occasionally to go to mcdonalds. Sure for a couple of years we got food stamps. Then I was able to find a full time job that paid my bills and took care of us. I think what people think kids cost varies widely! a crib, some diapers (cloth or disposable), formula, clothes and a few toys are plenty. and I believe I bought her clothes at yard sales until she was in junior high. my theory was why spend a fortune on something that won't fit her for long? After the first year they eat what you eat but much less. we were poor but she had a lot of love and became a sweet person. Maybe if I had been rich or "financially set" I would not have been able to devote as much of my time with her in ways that were frugal but homey. Perhaps it would have been more materialistic.

[Thrif-t]

Cicy for us it wasn't a number we just wanted to make sure we had a house and it was reasonably furnished. I knew once we started our family it would cost and it did. Daycare was a killer and we were what seemed "poor" during those daycare years for 3 kids. But thank goodness we had a house and had replaced what needed replaced before kids and didn't go into a hole during those years. Now i have the daycare years behind me and felt like I was getting ahead to bang run into the high school and middle school years. Wow sports are a killer, what's with team dinners, team breakfasts, spirit bags, spirit wear...wow and my kids have a paper route and pay for a lot of this stuff themselves but we still help out. It's hard. We'll never be rich but we are comfortable and always always had a savings account. I would never have kids w/o having had that savings first...but it wasn't a big number for us it was making sure we had enough to cover emergencies that always come up. I knew if we got in a hole it'd been hard to dig out of...I made sure our holes were covered.