Early Retirement

[LivingAlmostLarge]

So I've been contemplating more and more about the future especially as my mom pressures me. We're comfortable. And she tells me that by the time my kiddos are in high school I need to be working full time and have a career and have something for myself.

I work part-time now and I enjoy it. But it got me thinking that in 5 years my kids will be 13 and 11 and won't really need me (they don't really need me now at 8 and 6). But I like doing stuff for them and not having a nanny or after school care. I like the freedom and flexibility.

But that being said the plan always was by 45 DH would be done (he'll work but we'll be done needing to work) and I truly think we are on track. I mean that most literally. I mean if he works until 50 it'd be ridiculous our retirement. We're talking about having more than we spend now generated. But he'll do it because he keeps telling me he doesn't want to stop. The only difference is he'll have a lot FU money for any job he hates and will quit on a dime.

So what happens when that comes? I mean we are 5 years away from being FI and if I don't want to work what do you say to people? Do you really be honest and say we have more than enough money and I don't want to work?

Does it sound horrible? Is it not productive and non-contributory to never go back to working full time?

[corn18]

I work part-time now and I enjoy it. But it got me thinking that in 5 years my kids will be 13 and 11 and won't really need me (they don't really need me now at 8 and 6). But I like doing stuff for them and not having a nanny or after school care. I like the freedom and flexibility.

I don't understand this.

And there are myriad threads on this topic on http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/. They have some great discussions on how things turn out when you tell your "friends" that you are going to retire @ 45 or 50. Lots of resentment can result and some people even lost close "friends" and even family when they talked about it.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

They are more caught up in school and not needing someone after school as much? More time with friends? Than just me going to activities or hanging out as they get older? I keep staring at my DK1 at 8 and thinking woah time is going by way to fast. Stop already.

[creditcardfree]

LAL, what will you be doing in your retirement? Are there other activities you will be doing? Volunteering, traveling, creating a part time side business for fun...etc, that could be the topic of conversation rather than your full time work life? I personally think you have to simply not care what others think or say. You and your husband have to be comfortable with where you are and what you have achieved.

Your mother pressuring you is based on her own opinions, she does not control you.

[corn18]

They are more caught up in school and not needing someone after school as much? More time with friends? Than just me going to activities or hanging out as they get older? I keep staring at my DK1 at 8 and thinking woah time is going by way to fast. Stop already.

Got it. Are they involved in after school activities? We spent most of our waking hours chasing the kids around to all of their after school activities (horses for DD1 and show choir for DD2). They didn't need us, but we liked watching them do their stuff. You might be pleasantly surprised. Don't be a helicopter, though.

[msomnipotent]

I thought my daughter wouldn't need me as much once she started Jr high and I could get a part time job. My part time job is now driving her to lessons, play rehearsals, band rehearsals, mid-day orthodontist appts, etc. It seems like she needs me more now than when she was younger. And I really enjoy being around all of the time so she can't get away with anything. I read her texts a few weeks ago where a friend was trying to get her to sneak out of the house before her chores were done so they could go to the pool. She said I was like a ninja and pops out of nowhere whenever she even thinks about doing something. Now that's good parenting!

As for what to tell people, I try joking first, then guilt, and then obnoxiousness when that doesn't work. If something like, "Because we were able to save a shocking amount of money once I stopped lighting my Cuban cigars with $100 bills" doesn't work, be very blunt and say that they should be happy that you are in a position to retire early as you would be for them. If they persist, start calling them at 3 am and say, "Oops, I didn't realize it was 3am because I am retired and time has no meaning anymore." And then keep calling every time they bring it up and they will eventually get the message.

[disneysteve]

Does it sound horrible? Is it not productive and non-contributory to never go back to working full time?

One word: Jealousy

The people who get upset and give you a hard time are doing it out of jealousy because they're stuck slaving away at a job they hate until they die because they haven't planned and saved to be able to do what you're doing.

And who said not having a full time career means you will be not productive and not contributory? That's nonsense. You can, and I'm sure will, do plenty of useful things even if you are not working for pay.

Live your life and enjoy it. Don't adjust your plans to please others.

And yes, count me among the jealous if you retire at 45 or 50.

[scfr]

Is it possible that your mom has concerns she is not voicing?
About what would happen to you if you were widowed or divorced?
Is she concerned that you might be missing out on the non-financial benefits of work?

[Like2Plan]

I wonder—will folks notice if you are “retired” ?
I’ve been retired for almost 7 years. I find myself pretty busy.
One thing that DH and I experienced when our DS was in HS— we spent
a lot of time driving him around until his senior year when he was able to drive
on his own. Then, we liked to watch his track meets and so on.

There’s no reason that you can’t have a career if you enjoy it. That’s the great thing about FI- you can do the things that You like to do.

[TexasHusker]

So I've been contemplating more and more about the future especially as my mom pressures me. We're comfortable. And she tells me that by the time my kiddos are in high school I need to be working full time and have a career and have something for myself.

I work part-time now and I enjoy it. But it got me thinking that in 5 years my kids will be 13 and 11 and won't really need me (they don't really need me now at 8 and 6). But I like doing stuff for them and not having a nanny or after school care. I like the freedom and flexibility.

But that being said the plan always was by 45 DH would be done (he'll work but we'll be done needing to work) and I truly think we are on track. I mean that most literally. I mean if he works until 50 it'd be ridiculous our retirement. We're talking about having more than we spend now generated. But he'll do it because he keeps telling me he doesn't want to stop. The only difference is he'll have a lot FU money for any job he hates and will quit on a dime.

So what happens when that comes? I mean we are 5 years away from being FI and if I don't want to work what do you say to people? Do you really be honest and say we have more than enough money and I don't want to work?

Does it sound horrible? Is it not productive and non-contributory to never go back to working full time?

The fact is, you'll be "working" at something even after you "retire." You don't owe anyone an explanation as to what you are doing or not doing.

When I left corporate America five years ago to run my own businesses, my wife's friends would ask her all the time things like "What is he doing right now?" She might respond "He's watching Dan Patrick", or "taking a nap", or "rearranging his sock drawer." What does it really matter what anyone thinks?

I still actually work. I just don't punch a time clock every day and go home when the 6 o'clock whistle blows.

[creditcardfree]

Retirees and stay at home parents have more value than American Society gives them credit for. They volunteer, take on part time jobs, help ill children and elderly get to medical appointments....and really I could go on and on. You do not need to receive a paycheck to have value.

[Snydley]

My DD is 11 and starting middle school and I have a feeling she is going to need me around much more than when she was 8 or 10, and I don't mean to drive her to activities. Her life is about to become complicated in many ways and just being present, if and when she wants to talk, and to notice how things are going with friends, etc. will be real important I think.

I'm full time now but I'll likely be working from home many after-school hours for all new reasons as these challenging years approach.

[Drake3287]

Don't care what anyone says, having at least one parent at home through the High School years will pay off big time in the long run. No you don't need to baby sit them but just being there and available will keep them on a straighter path. Your kids future teenage friends will be your biggest concern as they get older.

We were lucky that because of my shift schedule, either myself or my wife who also worked was always home even during the High School years.

We now have 3 kids that have graduated college and we never had a single issue (that I know of!) during the teenage years and I completely credit one of us being at home to keep them in line as the reason.

If you can afford to be a stay at home mom or work part time then do it. You'll be grateful down the road.

[txex86]

Don't care what anyone says, having at least one parent at home through the High School years will pay off big time in the long run. No you don't need to baby sit them but just being there and available will keep them on a straighter path. Your kids future teenage friends will be your biggest concern as they get older.

We were lucky that because of my shift schedule, either myself or my wife who also worked was always home even during the High School years.

We now have 3 kids that have graduated college and we never had a single issue (that I know of!) during the teenage years and I completely credit one of us being at home to keep them in line as the reason.

If you can afford to be a stay at home mom or work part time then do it. You'll be grateful down the road.

I so agree with your sentiment about having a parent at home until children leave for college. I was a SAHM for the entirety of my daughter's time in our home, from birth until she left for college, and it was the best decision we ever made. While she "needed" me less as she grew older, I still remember times when she came home from middle or high school frustrated about something and needed someone to talk it out with. While she had friends who could fill that role for some things, there is never a substitute for a parent's wisdom and guidance. I don't regret not having a "career" per se, I do work now, but being there for my daughter to come home to, and the comfort that brought her, was priceless.