Why are so many people helpless?

[rennigade]

Ive noticed more and more how little people do for themselves anymore. Everyone wants to pay someone to do it for them. Mowing grass, changing oil, washing car, painting walls, changing tires, replacing electrical outlet, etc etc.

Im not talking about difficult things...the most basic stuff people either do not want to do...or they dont know how and refuse to learn.

I know similar things have come up before and the generic answer is "because my time is worth more than doing whatever task." I dont entirely believe that is true. I know we're a microwave society and want everything done 1 hour ago. Maybe thats part of the problem.

When did men stop being men? Whether you have all the money in the world or not...do guys just not want to get their hands dirty anymore so to speak?

My inlaws hired someone to cut down every single tree around their house because they didnt want to rake leaves...mind you they plan on leaving the stumps in place because that looks oh so nice. They even went as far to put fake plants around their house so they didnt have to maintain them. My FIL hires someone to mow his grass...then he goes around with his mower and collects the grass..

[disneysteve]

I think you touched on a few reasons: instant gratification, people (not just men) not wanting to get their hands dirty, convenience, lack of interest, etc.

A lot of it is normal evolution of society, though. As one's socioeconomic status rises, you tend to spend less time doing manual labor and more time doing things that either earn you more money or participating in leisure activities. Leisure time is a luxury item.

I think if you look at people lower on the income scale, you'll find that they are far more likely to do the kinds of things you mentioned themselves: car repairs, home repairs, lawn care, etc. They do it out of necessity, not because they want to and not because they enjoy it.

I mowed our lawn for about 10 years after we bought our house. I did it to be frugal. We were young and broke and had a ton of student loans and a new mortgage. I hated doing it. I wasn't all that good at it. But I just kept reminding myself how much we were saving in the process. Once the student loans were gone and I was making more money, that was the first service we farmed out to hired help and have never looked back. I sold the mower at a yard sale and that was the end of that.

I have never done my own car repairs but I wasn't raised that way either.

I still do basic home stuff myself and actually get a fair amount of satisfaction out of doing so. Just last week, I replaced the insides of one of our toilets. A couple of years ago my daughter and I stripped the wallpaper and painted her bathroom and replaced the light fixture, and we did a darn nice job if I do say so myself. And I'll pull out the ladder and clean the gutters later this week or next week once most of the leaves are off the trees.

To me, though, it's mainly about time and energy. The last thing I want to do when I come home after a long day at work is start doing manual labor. I'd much rather come home, make some dinner, and go to the gym or relax with my wife. I make good money and can afford to have someone do the tasks that I don't enjoy doing.

[Jluke]

Ive noticed more and more how little people do for themselves anymore. Everyone wants to pay someone to do it for them. Mowing grass, changing oil, washing car, painting walls, changing tires, replacing electrical outlet, etc etc.

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the ones in bold are (or may be) environmental hazards so DIY is a bit challenging for disposal.

But it is definitely becoming a lost "art" for doing simple home repairs/maintenance, but as DisneySteve said, it shows the evolution of society.

It also makes being an electrician, plumber, handyman a good profession to get into with everyone so focused on going to college.

[rennigade]

I make good money and can afford to have someone do the tasks that I don't enjoy doing.

I think thats the thing that worries me the most. What if people stop doing the things you now pay them to do? I dont think most people would disagree that trade jobs are disappearing due to mainstream media brainwashing everyone to attend a 4 year college and get a "professional" job in a nice climate controlled environment.

[Singuy]

I think thats the thing that worries me the most. What if people stop doing the things you now pay them to do? I dont think most people would disagree that trade jobs are disappearing due to mainstream media brainwashing everyone to attend a 4 year college and get a "professional" job in a nice climate controlled environment.

Don't think that will ever happen. Too many people are not given the opportunity to attend that 4 year college and getting that professional job. Mainly these are immigrants who the people in the states are claiming that these people are taking their trade jobs.

Sounds like we have more of a saturation of trade jobs than them disappearing due to all the complaining.

[disneysteve]

I think thats the thing that worries me the most. What if people stop doing the things you now pay them to do? I dont think most people would disagree that trade jobs are disappearing due to mainstream media brainwashing everyone to attend a 4 year college and get a "professional" job in a nice climate controlled environment.

I don't think that will happen.

I'm 53. I was raised in a family of professionals. My father was an accountant. Growing up, I don't think I ever saw him do a single manual labor thing. He used to check the cars (oil level, tire pressure, fluids) but he never did any repairs. For that, he took the car to the shop. Someone else mowed our lawn, did plumbing and electrical work, and other home stuff.

As we've discussed many times, not everyone is college-bound. Some people are great with their hands and really enjoy doing mechanical stuff, construction, etc. Those people will keep doing it. There's good money in it. And the need will never go away. As long as the need is there, people will keep doing it.

[greenskeeper]

I make what I'd consider "average" income for our area. However, I can also do practically anything, and in 14 years of home ownership have never called anyone for repairs, upkeep, or maintenance. I service/repair all our vehicles aside from taking them in for state inspection.

I figure my "income" is slightly above average with all the money saved by DIY factored in.

[TexasHusker]

Ive noticed more and more how little people do for themselves anymore. Everyone wants to pay someone to do it for them. Mowing grass, changing oil, washing car, painting walls, changing tires, replacing electrical outlet, etc etc.

Affluence has created a great deal of this. I changed my own oil for years, but I reached the point where I will gladly pay someone else $30-40 to screw with it. For that amount of money, I'm not interested in crawling around, soiling my clothes, bumping my head, stripping out the oil pan threads, etc.

I was actually going to paint a room the other day, and I figured it would take me two days. But I guy quoted me 200 bucks and I said "Hmmm, I'm not willing to do it for that, so I'll pay him to do it."

I mow my own lawn every now and then, but I would just as soon pay someone 30 bucks to screw with it.

I suppose this phenomenon does create some laziness. On the other hand, if I start doing all these things myself, I might put the painter and oil change guys out of business, so I look at it as I'm doing my patriotic duty.

THAT BEING SAID...soon I will spend 4 full days of my own time putting over 2,000 C-9 Christmas lights on my Live Oak tree and then taking them down after New Year's.

I like this done CORRECTLY and without damaging my tree. The tree light guys just want quick and dirty work ---- wrap a few hundred of those cheesy clear bulbs around your tree, collect their $300, and call it good. That's not how I roll. I've gotten quotes from $2-3,000 for labor to do what I do every year. It takes someone who actually CARES and doesn't do things slipshod. But I'll have one of those most beautiful lit trees in my city and everyone will really enjoy it.

[disneysteve]

Affluence has created a great deal of this. I changed my own oil for years, but I reached the point where I will gladly pay someone else $30-40 to screw with it.

I was actually going to paint a room the other day, and I figured it would take me two days. But I guy quoted me 200 bucks and I said "Hmmm, I'm not willing to do it for that, so I'll pay him to do it."

I mow my own lawn every now and then, but I would just as soon pay someone 30 bucks to screw with it.

Yep, this is exactly what I was talking about above. There's a point at which you can decide whether or not doing it yourself is worth it or enjoyable to you. If the answer is no, I see nothing wrong with hiring it out as long as you have the means to do so. It isn't because I'm helpless or incompetent. I can do those things. I just choose not to.

[Nutria]

I changed my own oil for years, but I reached the point where I will gladly pay someone else $30-40 to screw with it. For that amount of money, I'm not interested in crawling around, soiling my clothes, bumping my head, stripping out the oil pan threads, etc.

How much of "getting someone else to change the oil" is because engine compartments have been shrinking for the past 25 years, making it much harder to do much mechanic work without a big in-ground hydraulic lift?

[Singuy]

I change out bad capacitors when the A/C goes out, change out toilet flushing equipment when they go bad and also I do my own oil change. I just got lucky with these new Jags since the oil is pumped straight out of the engine. Takes about 5 min to change if you have the pump and I don't even get my hands dirty. I'll get a professional oil change if I do need to lift the car. If it's something that takes very little time but saves me hundreds of dollars I'll do it myself.

Mowing the lawn however I'll never do that under the hot FL sun. I do all the pool maintenance which turned out to be pretty easy. Also I manage my wife's payroll and taxes which saves me 80dollars/month vs getting a CPA.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We've gone the way of outsourcing a lot more than before. Before DH would do all home repairs, all yard work, etc. I can change oil on a car and air filter. I still do air filter but don't do oil. I also stopped washing cars years ago when living in apartments it was banned and where we lived it wasn't allowed on street. So car wash it was.

Yard work we used to do in our last place then we paid someone when our neighbors refused to chip in and we got frustrated always doing it out of 3 owners. Then we did it with no income and now we just pay someone. So we "can" do it, but choose not too. Same with our renovations we could do it. DH has done a lot of it and we are doing some stuff.

But the stuff we're doing it's because we aren't ready to commit to our mudroom plans, and like TH he can easily do just as good a job but heck why bother. We could paint it ourselves but it's minimal to pay them. He could install a fan in bathroom and insulate the attic (he did it last house), but they are here and giving us a deal. So no go.

Before when we made less money there wasn't a choice. Now there is a choice and he doesn't want to. It's not helplessness. It's just a choice.

DH and I both will do stuff rather than wait around for someone but some stuff we also don't want to invest the money into to do.

I'll change my own tire instead of waiting on AAA. And I have AAA. I can change my own battery to boot and have gone straight to the store after a jump to change it. But I just also got my car detailed. I vaccum it and clean it regularly but I hate waxing it so 2x/year I have it taken care of.

[breathemusic]

I'd caution OP against statements/questions like "When did men stop being men?" For 1, being a man isn't defined by the chores you do around the house. But I, a woman, am capable of doing home repairs too. And yeah, I get that it's an expression.... but it's still an irksome and outdated mindset rooted in an idea that women are helpless and "need a good man to take care of them."

We just did a bunch of updates to our house after we bought it and I helped my male partner and male roommate rip up carpet, cut, install, and nail down hardwood floors. I changed out most of the over 100 electrical outlets and switches myself, etc. etc.


Back to the real root of your question though and off of the gender stuff... time is money, just like you said. It's also a matter of skill. If someone else can do the job in 1/4 of the time it will take me because they are experienced, then it really impacts the time vs. money equation.

I'm sure it's also a matter of upbringing. It some people are taught lots of handy skills growing up and then have those for later. Others aren't and may or may not have an interest in learning.

Now, if someone can't afford it and is still paying people to do the most basic of chores and repair for them, then sure, that's a problem. But if they can afford it... what does it matter if they want to pay someone else? It could just be that they want to get the most enjoyment out of life they possibly can, and that means farming out chores they hate.

And what's the point of doing all that work yourself to save some money if it means that you're spending every spare moment you have doing "work" and not being able to just relax some?

[msomnipotent]

For me, it is a matter of priority. My priority is doing the job correctly, so we wind up doing a lot ourselves. I haven't been happy with the work that has been done whenever we hired someone to do it, regardless of what was done. Painters drip paint everywhere and roll over cobwebs, tilers missing spots where grout should be, (or worse, not mixing the grout correctly and now our bathroom grout is falling out), lazy repairmen only replacing the front rollers on our dryer instead of ALL of the rollers, etc. Not to mention that everyone charges my area double the rate because most residents here have too much money and not enough brains to research anything on their own. The only time we hire people is when we haven't done it ourselves and we don't know anyone that knows what to do, or it is something we can't do like paint the ceiling of a 2 story foyer or carry in granite counters tops.

[bjl584]

I do as much as I can myself. Home repairs, yard maintenance, car repairs.

My dad is handy and has taught me a lot.

I do it to save money, but I also enjoy doing projects around the house.