I hate the phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses"

[StormRichards]

Oh no...not a rape culture social justice warrior.

And just to let everyone know...if both consenting adults over the age of 18 are drunk and decide to have sex...that is considered rape now. The guy will always be punished and found guilty. This is the rape culture that exists now.

Your response is disgusting and exactly the reason why so many women don't report being raped.

You are the type that immediately blames the victim whenever one of your favorite athletes is accused of rape. Of course the multi-millionaire would never ignore NO because he can have anyone he wants.

EDIT

[StormRichards]

To move past the disgusting comment and get back on topic...

Just got done listening to a song with lyrics relevant to this thread. From the great Boz Scaggs:

Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This runnin' with the Jones's boy
Just ain't where it's at

Well said Boz

[phantom]

What college experience are they missing out on by not living on campus? Parties? Rape?

Drinking and partying have never interested me, so I didn't attend parties in college, and I didn't do much that made me any more likely to be raped than I would have been living at home. I was (and still am) a total nerd, much more interested in board games, books, and deep philosophical discussions than in partying. I attended my school's honors college and lived with other honors college students my first two years at school. There were plenty of kids in the honors college who did a moderate amount of partying, but there were also a lot of kids like me who just weren't interested. Living on campus made it easier for me to get to know people. I realized that there were a lot more people who were similar to me than I'd ever imagined, and that there were a lot of ways that people could be different from me and still pretty great to hang out with.

Living on campus also made it easier to take leadership roles in campus organizations, which taught me a lot about how much easier it is to get big things done than I ever imagined. I founded an anime club, helped revive the school literary magazine, and realized that anyone with a bit of vision who is willing to put in the work can make great things happen.

[disneysteve]

What college experience are they missing out on by not living on campus?

They're missing out on a huge part of the experience.

They're missing out on learning to live on their own but in a safe, controlled environment.

They're missing out on learning to live as part of a community, sharing a room with a stranger, sharing a community bathroom.

They're missing out, often, on a lot of the socialization that goes on in college. Most of my lifelong friends are people I met in college, living together, sharing meals, being involved in activities together.

They're often missing out on extracurricular activities. My daughter is active in her fraternity (co-ed) and some of their meetings are a 10pm during the week. It's tough for commuters to attend those. She was just elected to a leadership position in the frat which probably wouldn't have happened if she wasn't there all the time participating in activities to the full extent.

College is a big "growing up" time and I think most kids (not all for sure) benefit from that "trial" of adulthood.

And yes, I even think missing out on parties is important. Again, socialization, making friends, networking is all important and it happens in informal settings like parties.

[GoodSteward]

I'm sure college is a great experience for many. For me, the 6months I had at a community college was eh. One class I did learn some things, the other I wanted to bang my head for what the teacher was giving out. Bad information for these people trying to learn how to fix computers. I finished that quater, got my certifications, and went to work full time instead of finishing a degree. Still regret that sometimes, but I'm doing fine.

The turnoff to me isn't so much college, but staying on campus. That seems to be where the majority of trouble and problems thrive. Unless you like having sex with whoever wants to regardless of your personal and emotional health. Eh, not going there. College and outside of college life are two different things. I think Steve and SV2007 are referring more to the educational side, while Storm is referring to the other.

The sad truth is the job market is over saturated with degree people, but I think there is a shortage of qualified workers. The people I've seen interview for this job just blows my mind. One guy actually admitted to collecting viruses as a hobby. Really? You want a nearly billion dollar global company to hire someone that might "lose" a virus with administrator rights? Hah... Everybody today gets a degree because it's just what you do. The truth is that it isn't necessary. The numbers I heard on shows like Dave Ramsey point to the fact that a degree doesn't = higher salary. It's just specific.

As for the lawyer thing. I wouldn't have figured that either, but I heard another guy call in saying him and his future wife were both going to school to be lawyers and thought they would make big. They found out starting lawyers only make 40-50k a year. You have to work up into the big money. They didn't tell them that when they were signing up for six figure student loans.

[GoodSteward]

They're missing out on a huge part of the experience.

They're missing out on learning to live on their own but in a safe, controlled environment.

They're missing out on learning to live as part of a community, sharing a room with a stranger, sharing a community bathroom.

They're missing out, often, on a lot of the socialization that goes on in college. Most of my lifelong friends are people I met in college, living together, sharing meals, being involved in activities together.

They're often missing out on extracurricular activities. My daughter is active in her fraternity (co-ed) and some of their meetings are a 10pm during the week. It's tough for commuters to attend those. She was just elected to a leadership position in the frat which probably wouldn't have happened if she wasn't there all the time participating in activities to the full extent.

College is a big "growing up" time and I think most kids (not all for sure) benefit from that "trial" of adulthood.

And yes, I even think missing out on parties is important. Again, socialization, making friends, networking is all important and it happens in informal settings like parties.

Wow, I completely disagree. You don't have to know how to do bad to do good. The social I think is fine, but most of what you are referring to reading between the lines is Not necessary. What if your daughter goes to one of these "social building parties" and you get a call she is pregnant and has to drop out of college? This stuff happens and it isn't necessary to be successful in life. Sorry, but I call this major bad advice.

[StormRichards]

I think Steve and SV2007 are referring more to the educational side, while Storm is referring to the other.

Not according to Steve's last post.

I agree there are some advantages to living on campus and that social interaction is an important aspect of growing up. But much of what was listed can also be had living off campus. Commuting to college doesn't mean you are spending your Friday night in your bedroom at mom's house.

Also there a horrendous amount of stories that dispute the "safe, controlled environment."

[GoodSteward]

Not according to Steve's last post.

Yeah, I saw that after I posted. lol

[bigdaddybus]

They're missing out on a huge part of the experience.

They're missing out on learning to live on their own but in a safe, controlled environment.

They're missing out on learning to live as part of a community, sharing a room with a stranger, sharing a community bathroom.

They're missing out, often, on a lot of the socialization that goes on in college. Most of my lifelong friends are people I met in college, living together, sharing meals, being involved in activities together.

They're often missing out on extracurricular activities. My daughter is active in her fraternity (co-ed) and some of their meetings are a 10pm during the week. It's tough for commuters to attend those. She was just elected to a leadership position in the frat which probably wouldn't have happened if she wasn't there all the time participating in activities to the full extent.

College is a big "growing up" time and I think most kids (not all for sure) benefit from that "trial" of adulthood.

And yes, I even think missing out on parties is important. Again, socialization, making friends, networking is all important and it happens in informal settings like parties.

I agree!. Another thing I would add is especially for a guy like me from the Midwest is college is really the first time a lot of students learn a lot about cultural diversity

[pflyers85]

They're missing out on a huge part of the experience.

They're missing out on learning to live on their own but in a safe, controlled environment.

They're missing out on learning to live as part of a community, sharing a room with a stranger, sharing a community bathroom.

They're missing out, often, on a lot of the socialization that goes on in college. Most of my lifelong friends are people I met in college, living together, sharing meals, being involved in activities together.

They're often missing out on extracurricular activities. My daughter is active in her fraternity (co-ed) and some of their meetings are a 10pm during the week. It's tough for commuters to attend those. She was just elected to a leadership position in the frat which probably wouldn't have happened if she wasn't there all the time participating in activities to the full extent.

College is a big "growing up" time and I think most kids (not all for sure) benefit from that "trial" of adulthood.

And yes, I even think missing out on parties is important. Again, socialization, making friends, networking is all important and it happens in informal settings like parties.

I don't disagree with you that there are benefits beyond the coursework living on campus but I think many that partake in the extracurricular activities and events are naturally outgoing people. They are the type of people that absent the "college experience" would be involved in social clubs, charities, etc and gain their socialization that way. I don't necessarily believe that living on campus made them that way more so than they are open minded people who are naturally more comfortable trying new and different things.

[disneysteve]

staying on campus. That seems to be where the majority of trouble and problems thrive. Unless you like having sex with whoever wants to regardless of your personal and emotional health. Eh, not going there.

What if your daughter goes to one of these "social building parties" and you get a call she is pregnant and has to drop out of college?

I don't know where you went to college but when I say party, I'm not talking about Animal House drunken debauchery. Those might be the parties that get the publicity but there are plenty of perfectly normal parties where people hang out and enjoy themselves without doing anything illegal or immoral. Maybe I just missed that part of college but we were at parties almost every weekend and never encountered that environment.

My daughter isn't a party girl anyway. She's most likely to be in her room with a friend or two watching sci fi shows on the internet. She is 21 but can't even drink in her room most of the time because the school policy bans drinking if there are underage students present. She's older than all of her friends so even though she's legal, she can't drink when anyone else is there. She is in the baccalaureate honors program and on Dean's list so I think she's doing okay.

[disneysteve]

I don't disagree with you that there are benefits beyond the coursework living on campus but I think many that partake in the extracurricular activities and events are naturally outgoing people. They are the type of people that absent the "college experience" would be involved in social clubs, charities, etc and gain their socialization that way. I don't necessarily believe that living on campus made them that way more so than they are open minded people who are naturally more comfortable trying new and different things.

You haven't met my daughter.
If she was a commuter, she would sit at home in her room alone as much as she possibly could. Being on campus almost forces her to participate and get involved. Her friends come and get her to go to dinner or a frat meeting or a show with them. It's harder to be a loner when you're surrounded by people. Plus she hates to drive at night (she hates to drive period) so she would be unlikely to stay around for evening activities.

"Open minded" and "comfortable trying new things" don't describe her in the least. But in college, she does it because it's the thing to do and everyone else is doing it.

[bjl584]

You haven't met my daughter.
If she was a commuter, she would sit at home in her room alone as much as she possibly could. Being on campus almost forces her to participate and get involved. Her friends come and get her to go to dinner or a frat meeting or a show with them. It's harder to be a loner when you're surrounded by people. Plus she hates to drive at night (she hates to drive period) so she would be unlikely to stay around for evening activities.

"Open minded" and "comfortable trying new things" don't describe her in the least. But in college, she does it because it's the thing to do and everyone else is doing it.

I guess in your daughter's case, being on campus has helped her come out of her shell. But, I think that the majority of people that are on campus are either already outgoing social butterflies or they aren't. When I was in college, my experience was people naturally gravitated toward what they were already programmed with. The kids that were popular, outgoing, and sports players in high school ended up joining the frats, partying, being involved in clubs and activities, and grew a large social network. The kids that were more shy and reserved in high school continued on with that behavior in college. Staying in the dorms, going to the library or computer lab, and staying in small groups or by themselves.

[StormRichards]

You haven't met my daughter.
If she was a commuter, she would sit at home in her room alone as much as she possibly could. Being on campus almost forces her to participate and get involved. Her friends come and get her to go to dinner or a frat meeting or a show with them. It's harder to be a loner when you're surrounded by people. Plus she hates to drive at night (she hates to drive period) so she would be unlikely to stay around for evening activities.

"Open minded" and "comfortable trying new things" don't describe her in the least. But in college, she does it because it's the thing to do and everyone else is doing it.

Sounds like you have a great daughter with a good head on her shoulders.

But your last comment can also lead to really poor decisions. Poor decisions less likely made by someone living off campus away from the peer pressure. Young impressionable minds with parents at home saying "not my child."

[disneysteve]

But your last comment can also lead to really poor decisions.

Yeah, that came out sounding very wrong. I didn't mean it in the bad peer pressure way. I meant that her friends help keep her from holing up in her room watching Youtube all day. They call and ask her to join them for dinner. They are part of the reason she joined the frat (a national co-ed service fraternity, not a Greek social fraternity), etc. They help her come out of her shell, as Brian said. She never had friends in high school, never got involved in any school activities at all. The fact that she is involved on campus is a good thing for her.