Feeling discouraged

[Tabs]

Hey man, when I first arrived at SA many moons ago, I was a complete and utter mess, both financially and emotionally. I was coming off a divorce, debt up to my ears, and I didn't mince words when I shared that I was feeling completely hopeless. Like I'm just going to grow old, spending the rest of my life just trying to get out of the financial hole I created trying to keep my ex (and myself) "happy".

Luckily, the folks here at SA have been tremendously understanding and helpful in helping a bumbling idiot like me back on my feet. I owe much to this community. It is a debt that I may never quite pay back.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I can empathize with you in that sense. Please hang in there. I will root for you. You are not alone.

[Outdoorsygal]

Just popping in to say I really enjoy your posts. And proud you are making so many changes. Hang in there

[HundredK]

Thanks to all of you for the positive thoughts and good wishes. I still feel down about everything, but I am continuing to try, and you all help a lot. It is very difficult to go through such a drastic change in lifestyle. At this point, I don't yet see a way to be able to travel more and make the progress I feel we need to make. Next time I see my husband, we may talk about whether there are any other ways we can restructure how we do business to help provide a more emotionally fulfilling life. Maybe we could both travel less somehow, then at least we wouldn't be apart so much. I really cannot see living like this until 2020. Maybe in a few months time I will be able to feel less awful about it. Time heals all wounds. Or something.

[disneysteve]

At this point, I don't yet see a way to be able to travel more and make the progress I feel we need to make. Next time I see my husband, we may talk about whether there are any other ways we can restructure how we do business to help provide a more emotionally fulfilling life. Maybe we could both travel less somehow, then at least we wouldn't be apart so much. I really cannot see living like this until 2020.

I think 3-4 years apart most of the time isn't a good plan, regardless of the debt. I agree with you on that.

I'd continue to consider some of the suggestions that have been made here, specifically you going on some of the trips like every other or every third, even if that means you won't get the debt paid off for a few extra months. Paying off the debt is important but life is important too.

[Trying to get ahead]

I am wondering if you both considered raising your rates to your current clients when it is time for contract renewal?

[Eagle]

Thanks to all of you for the positive thoughts and good wishes. I still feel down about everything, but I am continuing to try, and you all help a lot. It is very difficult to go through such a drastic change in lifestyle. At this point, I don't yet see a way to be able to travel more and make the progress I feel we need to make. Next time I see my husband, we may talk about whether there are any other ways we can restructure how we do business to help provide a more emotionally fulfilling life. Maybe we could both travel less somehow, then at least we wouldn't be apart so much. I really cannot see living like this until 2020. Maybe in a few months time I will be able to feel less awful about it. Time heals all wounds. Or something.

Hang in there HundredK! You have to find something that allows you to keep the pace. 4 years + may not be sustainable. When we first started knocking out our debt we decided to go all in. After we bought our house and had kids our pace really dwindled. We have made compromises in order to be able to have a life worth living for the next few years. The mortgage will get paid off. We're still saving for retirement.

We just had to find a pace that allowed us to keep moving forward.

There's a Facebook group for support for people who are in over 100k in debt... https://www.facebook.com/groups/291213581004011/

[nadine_doa]

When you own the business, the line between business and personal is always very, very fuzzy.

Truer words were never spoken.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'd consider cutting until you feel deprived. I mean you are so in debt honestly it's just a big lifestyle change. So I don't think you should go cold turkey. Instead maybe make cuts and changes and then get used to living that way and maybe cut again. Plus you still have to have a life you want living or what's the point?

[Jluke]

I don't remember if this was already mentioned.

If your business involves mostly travel, is your "home base" ideally located geographically? Do you have to live where you do or would another location be just as good?

For instance, if you could move to a Lower Cost of Living area that might help with debt re-payment.

just a thought.

[HundredK]

I don't remember if this was already mentioned.

If your business involves mostly travel, is your "home base" ideally located geographically? Do you have to live where you do or would another location be just as good?

For instance, if you could move to a Lower Cost of Living area that might help with debt re-payment.

just a thought.

We actually did move in this last year, and are now saving over $1,000 a month on rent. But we can't move any further away than we currently are - there's a W2 job that we need to be near enough to make occasional trips into the office, even though it's a work from home position.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

HundredK why not post a budget and let us have at it? Maybe the original budget and cuts you've done or travel and let us give it a whirl with ideas.

[HundredK]

HundredK why not post a budget and let us have at it? Maybe the original budget and cuts you've done or travel and let us give it a whirl with ideas.

Oooooh, yeah, I did that initially and I was too sensitive to some of the less than kind feedback, so I asked for it to be deleted. So I'm going more slowly and getting to know y'all a bit better before I go down that path again.

[sv2007]

Lifestyle is supposed to last a life time. I think you need to re-adjust your expectations so you can live a lifestyle that you can enjoy.

Maybe save less money? Cut some very expensive spendings to splurge on small things? I don't know, only you would know. BUT, feeling all depressed isn't going to be a long-lasting lifestyle <-- that much I think everybody knows.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

A budget posted could help people prioritize and talk out where to cut and where to leave. You'd be surprised especially when it's laid out that it'll take 4 years to pay off debt. Sometimes I think people here get it more than other places because many on the board do like to spend money (i am probably one of the bigger spenders and not too frugal).