Pet expenses for end of life?

[HundredK]

I find myself in a bit of a dilemma. Our dog is sick, and the vet is recommending tests and treatments that will equate to thousands of dollars in expenses. She is 17 years old. They aren't even entirely sure what the issue is based on the tests we have already paid for, though I get the feeling they think it could be cancer. We have a sinking fund for vet care, and have the money to pay this amount... BUT should we? We had another dog who died earlier this year from heart failure, and we spent over $5,000 which essentially bought him just a few more months, and it was the most heartbreaking few months of my life. Not worth it in retrospect. So I find myself here again, and this time, I am leaning toward euthanasia, right now, before things get too horribly bad for her. So, I want to know, what would y'all do? Would you pay all the money the vet is asking for to buy her a bit more time or would you end things to make sure the dog doesn't suffer and save the money?

[ua_guy]

First, my heartfelt sorrow that you're going through this. I am right there with you, with my own dog, and completely understand. There is currently a $15,000 hole in our savings account which, in the last month, went to a bunch of testing, surgery, and recovery expenses for our dog who we think is around 13 years old.

In the first few weeks, the doctors could only tell us that our dog had hypercalcemia (too much calcium in his blood). It was acute, and our dog required a couple of days of "inpatient" care to bring the level back down and get him stabilized. Blood draws and panels were inconclusive. One test was sent across the country. They asked us if we'd like to test for leukemia/ bone marrow cancer, which requires sedation and is fairly invasive. If they did find cancer, prognosis would be poor. So we said no, it's not fair to the dog to put him through that. The assumption was that he had an underlying cancer and had about 60 days left to live. The situation was heart-breaking enough, and then they put him on prednisone, which just about killed me. It made him perky and active like he was 5 years old again, and it would keep his blood calcium under control until the suspected cancer would become uncontrollable. To see that and know he was dying rapidly put me in a really bad place. I knew we were quickly facing euthanasia, or, he would pass at home relatively quickly...the second option being more preferable given a choice.

And then the test came back that had been sent off to the university. It confirmed his hypercalcemia was hormonal and likely not bone cancer. So we paid for another ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed an ectopic thyroid which could be removed with surgery. There was risk in surgery requiring sedation, but, it was very likely it would put him in the clear and allow him life without complication again. If it gave him a year? We said yes. The total at this point was about $5k. Surgery was another $5k+. Surgery was successful and he stayed in the hospital 2 days while his calcium level stabilized post-surgery.

We brought him home. A day later, we were watching TV and he was snuggled in my lap, resting and recovering. He started whimpering, and then screaming like he was in pain. I thought he was dying right there. I called the vet, 9pm at night, they said bring him to their 'ER'. We made the 45 minute drive, me holding him in the back seat. He spent another two days in 'inpatient' care, this time for hypocalcemia (too little calcium). His thyroid hadn't responded yet and the medication wasn't enough. That cost us another $2500.

He's been fine for a few weeks now, and is his "old" self. He eats well again. He is active again, appropriate for a senior dog. He sleeps at night. We are so thankful. The whole thing came within weeks of losing a family member to covid, my mother experiencing deeply concerning health issues, us just having moved across the country, and me facing losing my job at work.

Forget the cost for a minute. We can afford $15k as much as it sucks to shell out that kind of money. I mean, really sucks. Could there be a good chance that the dog wouldn't suffer too much and be restored to a normal life (i.e. was the problem 'fixable'?) YES. The other question was, are we ready to say goodbye to the dog? NO. Was this fair to the dog? We felt so. They payoff may not be great. He's old. He might live for another year. Maybe more. I've had a dog live 15-16 years, so there's hope.

Had the concern been that he wouldn't survive surgery or the problem had less than a 50% chance of being corrected, then no. The next option was supportive/palliative care with the prednisone and other meds. That can prolong things for a while, and, there is fairness therein, so long as the dog isn't suffering.

Whatever you decide, I hope you consider what is fair for your pet. If you have the money already set aside, and treatment is fair to her, I don't think money should be the question.

If you do decide to put your dog down, please, please, please, be there to hold her. I hate to think that any pet feels abandoned before they pass.

[corn18]

Only you know the answer. We hung onto our second dog too long and she suffered because we were selfish. We put our third dog down because the vet said she was about to suffer a horrible death from renal failure caused by cancer. Our 4th dog had a horrible seizure due to Cushings disease but recovered and looked fine. But she was dieing. We could have kept her a few more days or weeks but she would have suffered. Our first cat had a stroke due to cancer and then looked fine, but we put her down because she was suffering. Our second cat got very sick and we spent $9,000 at the ER and they found out he was diabetic. He's doing great.

None of this applies to you and your pet. One of the most important obligations we have as their humans is to help them with this phase of their life. It sucks, but we owe that to them. You know in your heart what to do.

[HundredK]

If you do decide to put your dog down, please, please, please, be there to hold her. I hate to think that any pet feels abandoned before they pass.

Oh yes, I would never send a dog out of this life without staying with them through the end. We did that with our pup who died of heart failure in May. Because of the virus, the vet wouldn't let us go inside, but they came and met us outside their office at a picnic table with blankets, and we hugged and snuggled him right to the end.

I am so sorry to hear about your pooch! But glad he is on the mend. What a year it has been for us all, but yours sounds especially awful. Really sorry you lost someone to the virus and are having to deal with all the other turmoil, my heart goes out to you!

I think you make a good point that maybe I should just remove money from the equation, especially since I already have a healthy amount set aside for just such purposes. And perhaps I need to remove my own heartbreak from the equation as well, as hard as that is to do. Just because our other dog did not have a good end of life, it doesn't necessarily mean it will be the same for this dog. I think you're right, it would be fair to her to at least figure out what is going on and just how severe it is. I just find it hard to know if I am doing the right thing by keeping her alive when I am perfectly capable of giving her a peaceful ending. But you've convinced me that the right thing would be to get more information before any drastic decision is reached. Thank you for that. Peace of mind is money well spent.

[HundredK]

Only you know the answer. We hung onto our second dog too long and she suffered because we were selfish. We put our third dog down because the vet said she was about to suffer a horrible death from renal failure caused by cancer. Our 4th dog had a horrible seizure due to Cushings disease but recovered and looked fine. But she was dieing. We could have kept her a few more days or weeks but she would have suffered. Our first cat had a stroke due to cancer and then looked fine, but we put her down because she was suffering. Our second cat got very sick and we spent $9,000 at the ER and they found out he was diabetic. He's doing great.

None of this applies to you and your pet. One of the most important obligations we have as their humans is to help them with this phase of their life. It sucks, but we owe that to them. You know in your heart what to do.

Oh my goodness, you have been through it with your pets! I've only ever had our two dogs, and so my only experience with putting one down was the horrible one earlier this year with the pooch who had heart failure. That is not a fun way to die and I wouldn't wish that on any creature. Still, you're right that it's my obligation to help her, and at least figure out what is really going on, and so I am going to move forward with more testing despite the costs.

[kork13]

Have you discussed euthanasia with the vet yet? Often they'll withhold bringing up that option until it's unavoidable, but you might at least get the vet's opinion on if it might be warranted given her age & the still-unknown cause of her sickness. If the circumstances are such that you're asking the question, I think that conversation is definitely warranted.

In the end, I see it as an ethical quotation for you to answer. I'll admit I'm not a pet-owner & probably wouldn't be a great one... But if it were me, I wouldn't want to make a pet suffer for the sake of making me feel good about trying everything possible. If the poor thing is in pain & miserable with no idea what's going on & no expectation of figuring it out anytime soon...I'd likely want to let the pet go vs. putting it through weeks/months of medical procedures that only prolongs a painful life. But that's just me. As others have said, it has to be your decision, albeit a heart-wrenching one.

[HundredK]

Have you discussed euthanasia with the vet yet? Often they'll withhold bringing up that option until it's unavoidable, but you might at least get the vet's opinion on if it might be warranted given her age & the still-unknown cause of her sickness. If the circumstances are such that you're asking the question, I think that conversation is definitely warranted.

In the end, I see it as an ethical quotation for you to answer. I'll admit I'm not a pet-owner & probably wouldn't be a great one... But if it were me, I wouldn't want to make a pet suffer for the sake of making me feel good about trying everything possible. If the poor thing is in pain & miserable with no idea what's going on & no expectation of figuring it out anytime soon...I'd likely want to let the pet go vs. putting it through weeks/months of medical procedures that only prolongs a painful life. But that's just me. As others have said, it has to be your decision, albeit a heart-wrenching one.

I have... because of the virus, I've been exchanging emails with the vet. They are supportive of my decision either way and said that it is my decision, but obviously they would like to do some more to figure out the problem. But they said if I prefer, they would euthanize. After thinking it through, I think it's worth it to do the testing and at least have a more concrete idea of what we're looking at. I am shocked this dog has lived to 17 (which is very old for a dog) with virtually no medical issues, so if it turns out that this is something they can fix without pain and suffering to her, it's worth the cost of the testing. And then I suppose if the tests show something terribly wrong, it will be further evidence that euthanasia is the right choice. I called the vet and he is going to do the additional tests during his lunch hour tomorrow, so we should know something relatively quickly.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

So I've had 3 dogs as an adult with massive expenses. First dog was the dog of our youth. We got him when we were first together and without kids. I was pregnant when he collapsed and he had tumors everywhere. I couldn't bear the thought at 5 months pregnant putting him down. That was not going to happen. So we put him on chemo and he lived another year. I was driving 2x/week for chemo for a dog an hour. I would sit and wait and work on my thesis at the bookshop and then take him home. I moved from the 3rd floor to first floor living room while pregnant because I couldn't carry him (20 lbs) outside to use the bathroom and it was easier. I would take him out every 2 hours. Totally devoted and I know we spent over $10k on his life. He finished chemo around march 2010 and died Augsut 2010. He had a great spring and summer and when he collapsed that summer I knew. We put him down.

2nd dog we did the same thing. Except we moved cross country and took him in because he appear to hurt his knee. Turns out he had cancer but not as far along as the first. He survived with chemo another 18 months and we had a great time. Again we just knew when it was time. And yes we probably spent $10k+ on him, again I didn't want to add him up. We also got him before kids. These guys were part of the family. They were like 15 when we did treatments and lived to like 16/17 years old. Their quality of life though was excellent.

3rd and current dog. Adopted in 10/2018 and was 18 months. Turns out he has an autoimmune disease. I woke up one day while DH was traveling for work and blood was everywhere in the house. I figured out it was the dog and not one of the kids. He was dripping blood from his nose. Anyway that started the massive about every 2 week medication and dosage measurements that continue today. Last year we spent $7k on spleen removal in hopes it would help. It has. He got on lower doses of medicine. Realize he was only 2.5 years. Most recently we had a teeth cleaning and wound stitching from predisone. That was another $1k. We probably spend $500/month on him. He can't get vaccinated so we have to depend on friends to watch him for traveling. I'm not sure what we are going to do if we ever want to traveler for longer. I know we wouldn't be doing massive surgery on an older dog. It's not the money it sort of is more quality of life.

I sort of feel this sounds crazy but you can tell when it's time. There is a moment when you know what you are being asked to do isn't the right thing and the moment when you know you should. I hate putting our dogs to sleep. but I feel like we get there when it's right and not financial based. I sort of miss having my small guys and I think next time around we're going back to a small dog I can carry. Gotta say I love our standard poodle but I miss the dogs you can carry.

[HundredK]

I should have also mentioned, adding to the complexity of this whole thing is the fact that the virus seems to have had an unusually large impact on the vet industry. Our normal vet has no appointments available for months and they sent out a long email talking about how horrible it is to be a vet right now and that people just have to be patient. Unfortunately, dying dogs aren't patient. So because of that, I had to get our dog established at a new vet (and what a chore it was to find one!), and I don't even know this practice or if they're decent or not. I'm sure they're decent, but it really sucks to not be able to take her to the place she has always gone. And I know vets have it hard (even on a good year, vets apparently have a high rate of suicide, so it can't be a cheerful profession), but it makes me a bit angry that longtime patients don't get priority. But dang, this year is just brutal.

[HundredK]

I sort of feel this sounds crazy but you can tell when it's time. There is a moment when you know what you are being asked to do isn't the right thing and the moment when you know you should.

This is great advice. Thank you. And also, I think you win the award for most dedicated dog parent ever!

[mumof2]

we had to deal with this a few years ago with both our dogs...look into their face and see how they feel you can see if your dog is happy or not...but at 17 I wouldn't do the tests it would be hard on the dog and it is nearing the end of their life...we could tell with our dogs when it was time...so thats when we did it...we then spent the money we would have spent on testing (which wouldn't have done anything to help them) on having them cremated and put into an urn and they sit proudly on our mantel piece...they were family and should be treated as such...but look into their eyes you will know

[Butterscotch]

It’s been my experience that you should put down an animal when they start to have more bad days than good. And it’s far kinder to put them down on a good day, rather than on a day when they are suffering. Make it peaceful for them.

[Snicks]

I adore my dog. She is a pleasure and we adore and spoil her. However, she is not a human. And, dogs have a limited life span. I am not sure how much I would be willing to spend for health care of my dog. Yes, she sees the vet regularly. Has all her shots and so forth. But, there is a limit to the type of medical care I would approve for her. In your situation, a dog that is 17 is already on borrowed time. So, no I would not be doing anything other palliative measures or things that keep her comfortable.

[Snicks]

Our last dog died from renal failure. She was 10. She seemed to be very healthy and had seen a vet her whole life. Then she became suddenly very ill, vomiting and panting. We took her in and she was in acute renal failure. They said the only real option was to take her to a city and put her on dialysis. I mean, I don't even know where that can be done and certainly nowhere near us. It would have been hours of driving and one episode of dialysis wasn't going to save her. The vet suggested that she would probably need to be euthanized. We agreed but of course it was a Fri late afternoon when we got her labs back and they were not able to take her in for that until Monday morning. I spent the weekend sitting on the floor with her and stroking her and cleaning up her vomit, etc. And early Sunday morning, I woke up at 6am and had a feeling. I went down to get her and I picked her up and carried her out onto the nice plush grass of the green lawn. It was a cool, dewey morning, very pretty, the bird were chirping. When I put her on the lawn she just literally laid down on her side. She had never done that before. I sat on the porch step just watching her. She was panting but looked at peace resting in the grass. I sat with her laying there for about 15 minutes. Then, I went to pick her to take her back in the house and she literally died in my arms. I sat and held her and cried. Then I woke DH up and we went and buried her in the back yard. I still get teary talking about this. I feel that it was no accident that I woke up when I did.

[Smallsteps]

I will be honest that we have had to make these types of calls on more then one pet.
In the city we used to live the vets we dealt with were always up front that we COULD do this or that with no promises of recovery etc.
They were clear on quality of life if we wanted to try everything. Some vets will tell you straight if it is time ........ others it seems like they play on your sympathy and guilt some into huge bills regardless of the animals suffering.

In our current city they attitude seems to be no cost is too much and every procedure is worth it.
A friend spent more in a year fixing her dogs/ cat then she has on her whole families healthcare.
We have an older dog we adopted from a shelter 5 yrs ago .....they not only miss classified the breed........but told us dog had issues that required many costs for testing and meds ( grain allergy fixed by switching food) ....
wanted $4000 to clean the dogs teeth....... told us putting the dog under to clean the teeth might kill it but either way was $4k up front...... i do not see how this person could look anyone in the eye saying that.
The attitude around here seems to be if you are not willing to second mortgage your house you should not own pets. When this dog who is best guess 11-12 starts having issues we may need to travel out of area to find a compassionate vet.

It is a individual choice but for many breeds 17 is a very LONG life.