The Internal Conflict Is Strong

[snafu]

Singuy, back to discussion about your unwillingness to spend that distresses wife. Is it really a 4 generation cultural model?

You've not given much in the way of details or specific examples but I wonder if she would be happier and less complaining if there was a line item for entertainment/date night each month for example. These would be special occasions, joining friends or not for dress up events, celebrating a cultural holiday, birthday, anniversary, completion of a project, whatever 'tag' she likes. If it it's suits better bring it down a notch but make it bi weekly, for a concert and dinner at a better restaurant [not yet visited] or catered at home.

Does wife believe your wardrobe needs upgrading? Are you willing to spend a bit more to have better made apparel that fits and flatters? Make it easy on yourself by hiring a stylist tasked with finding you two complete business wear and one casual outfit that hilights your best features. Be gentle on yourself, try Nordstroms 1st. Men likewise benefit from an occasional manicure/pedicure.

If your wife is distressed by your response to her purchases, that's not about money, it about control.

[Singuy]

If your wife is distressed by your response to her purchases, that's not about money, it about control.

Ding Ding! Yes we had a long discussion and it's absolutely about control. She claims that when it comes to items she wants, I control her too much(and it's true). We have different ways of interpreting something as "worth it" or not, but she's definitely more lax and I am way more strict.

This behavior most likely came from a life time of strict control from my parents and it has passed down to me having the same behavioral problem.

Even though this type of behavior lifted my parents and I out of poverty, and got my wife and I ahead of everyone else financially..no one is having any fun, which a recipe for disaster.

[Jluke]

at 350k/year, no need to pinch pennies.

I'm not sure what that lifestyle is like, but remember: happy wife, happy life.

Like snafu said, add a line item in your monthly budget or ear mark a certain amount for the year that you're willing to "throw away" and let your wife spend without your consent...

5% to 10%???

[tripods68]

If you're making a ton of money and can afford to rent a car for $1,000/month, good for you. I'm not really sure why you've chosen to get involved with a site that is dedicated to helping people save and invest wisely and get out of debt.

Texashusker likes to "stick it" to guys here in SA forum (just to have fun) and to convince us all his "Unconventional/Contrarian" ways of building wealth works. (correct me if I'm wrong).

[tripods68]

at 350k/year, no need to pinch pennies.

5% to 10%???

Totally agree with this!

Driving a beat up old car and not have a 'fun' money set aside monthly makes other people think, there is something wrong with you.

[TexasHusker]

Texashusker likes to "stick it" to guys here in SA forum (just to have fun) and to convince us all his "Unconventional/Contrarian" ways of building wealth works. (correct me if I'm wrong).

Nahhh. But I do get a little worn out with the traditional ideas at wealth building - maxing out 401Ks, blah blah blah. These deals more often than not just enslave people instead of free them. I hate to see that. If people were just willing to even take a cursory look at other avenues besides that which the company and the gubmit are spamming...

There are plenty on this forum that could buy and sell me I'm quite sure. And my possessions aren't really mine - everyone one of them will be a heap of soil in 100 years if not sooner. We are all just renting, whether we pay it up front or along the way.

I started my career making $16,500 per year. I can't say I'm any happier, or unhappier, at this juncture. It's just money. A few more toys.

[TexasHusker]

I recently Googled to see the cars that depreciate the fastest. The list was all high end luxury cars and the 1-year depreciation was sometimes 30% or more. If you really want to buy one of those vehicles, the best deal is to get one that's a year or two old. Let someone else pay for that depreciation.

Don't forget that there are "luxury" cars from Toyota, Hyundai, etc. My cousin bought a Genesis a couple of years ago and it is a great car but has the reliability and value that comes with Hyundais.

Wanna see something REALLY telling? Go to the swapalease website and look around. On most makes/models, the number of listings is a few dozen. But if you look at Mercedes and BMW, they outnumber all other makes and models COMBINED.

80-85% of the buyers of these cars are actually leasing them. On these types of cars, it is true that the first year depreciation is huge, but so is the depreciation at about the 50K mark when the ol' warranty expires. They fall like a stone.

If you want one of these high-end cars, 1) get a warranty, 2) lease it and hand them the keys when it's over.

Probably the best vehicle for resale IMO is the Toyota Tacoma. Chevy Trucks aren't far behind. Anything Dodge, Chrysler, Kia, or Hyundai is simply AWFUL. So are Chevy truck/SUV products with the V6 engines - they are short life.

If you want a sedan with the highest resale, it's an Accord or Camry.

Luxury sedan = Lexus

Luxury SUV - Toyota Landcruiser or Lexus LX or GX class

Large SUV - Chevy Tahoe

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Is it hard to insure cars that don't have a clean carfax? Does it mean it's considered totalled by "insurance"?

I agree if your wife is upset about the control issue with money be very, very careful. I would not be happy if my DH acted like that. Even more so since I know and I'm sure your wife knows that she's a reasonable person with money and life in general.

I don't need to be treated like a child with money and we're partners. So I'd consider how much you like being married. Things are great when you first have kids, but so I've been told a lot of divorces over money happen when the kids hit around the age of 6-10 when you suddenly can breathe again about life from the diapers and baby phase.

[siggy_freud]

Doesn't make for a comfy DD to some (but I loved it) but I have found that the one Chrysler product that does hold its resale are Jeep Wranglers. To the point of buying used simply doesn't make sense so long as you find a sub-invoice price deal. I bought one, drove it cross-country in winter through all sorts of storms, etc, then sold it for the same price as I paid brand new in a matter of a few days.

[tripods68]

Is it hard to insure cars that don't have a clean carfax? Does it mean it's considered totalled by "insurance"?

I don't think so, it might cost a lot more to insure because of "Salvage" title.

[Nutria]

I don't think so, it might cost a lot more to insure because of "Salvage" title.

That's interesting. Why?

[tripods68]

That's interesting. Why?

Won't you find out for us.


But I think not many insurance would insure them. Those you find 'offers' limited coverage.

[Nutria]

Won't you find out for us.

But I think not many insurance would insure them. Those you find 'offers' limited coverage.

My son's 2010 Camry has a salvage title, and we easily got Liability, Comp & Collision from Progressive. The quote didn't change from when we just said "4 door 2010 Camry" to giving it the VIN.

(My brother in law buys auction cars, refurbs then sells them. He's stand-up, so I trust him when he said that it's in great shape and had minimal damage.)

[tripods68]

My son's 2010 Camry has a salvage title, and we easily got Liability, Comp & Collision from Progressive. The quote didn't change from when we just said "4 door 2010 Camry" to giving it the VIN.

(My brother in law buys auction cars, refurbs then sells them. He's stand-up, so I trust him when he said that it's in great shape and had minimal damage.)

Good for you...consider yourself lucky!

Personally would never buy a 'salvage' for my family or my kids. But that's just me...too many problem unknown, and safety concern.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Someone told me to buy auction cars. But I never had the nerve. She said that I needed to go to a mechanic and tell him to buy me a car for $x.