I come off as an a$$ hole when I talk about personal finance. halp.

[tiffany85]

Okay so I've gotten into this personal finance stuff lately. It's fantastic.

However, I'm starting to become a bitc& because of it. Like, someone gets a nice car and I don't really shower them with compliments. Someone talks about day trading and I all but tell them they are stupid. I look down on people. I use my PF knowledge as a pedistole in which to do so. I think I have a disease.

Has anyone else gotten this way after first getting started with PF? Please. I'm seriously mean sometimes. I normally like a mouse. Hense my avatar. I should change it to a bear,

[FLA]

Personal Finance Tourette's! If you can hold your tongue when you feel like you're gonna come off as mean, you can come on here and post all the stupid things your co-workers and friends are doing. We'll listen, agree with you and then you won't have made new enemies, lol

[LizfromtheBronx]

I just don't get involved in other people's finances. One of my fave sayings is..."not my circus, not my monkeys!"

If they want to buy a new car, or day trade, it really doesn't affect you. I'd give them the "hmm, how nice", and keep it movin'...now, if someone asks your advice, and you actually care about this person, then yeah, don't be mean. Thy're looking for help, and think you're qualified to give it. But no matter what, solicited or not, you can't make anyone change their behavior. So why waste your breath or energy?

[dawnwes]

You can't help people with their finances if you come across as a know it all. Show your enthusiasm, share your testimonials of money saving, and listen to their money problems IF they want to share and ask a LOT of leading questions. Help them figure some things out for themselves as you listen.

Do you do this in other areas as well?

[DecisiveParadox]

Bigots are everywhere, even here

As with everything, the more knowledge you acquire the more aware you become of instances where it could have been done better. This is natural evolution of anyone gaining knowledge in anything.
We will always have masters and beginners.You practice what you gain by improving lesser situations.
sometimes this is other peoples situations :P
You have displayed a high degree of self awareness to realize you don't want to be this way.

Unfortunately some people never change when they gain knowledge, quickly forgetting that they too were once beginners themselves. And you see it in every profession, and every workplace.
You will see it frequently on these forums as well. there are a few here that believe superior finance knowledge is a license to undermine beginners with questions.
Thankfully they are a minority and generally stick around each other.

Everyone else is like yourself, people who seek to further their knowledge and understanding.
Think of the best teachers you have met, or business mentors.

There is those that display there superior knowledge and simply tell you get better or get out.
then there are those who bring out the best in us, offer guidance and let us discover the knowledge for ourselves.

Like someone with an addiction, all the preaching in the world wont make them change, they have to want it before you can help them.
The whole having to fall before they can rise up.
making the horse bought to water drink.

knowledge doesn't make me an asshole, stupid people do. and if they want to be wasteful and dumb, don't let your energies get wasted either in their stupidity.

decisive Paradox

[scottish girl]

Okay so I've gotten into this personal finance stuff lately. It's fantastic.

However, I'm starting to become a bitc& because of it. Like, someone gets a nice car and I don't really shower them with compliments. Someone talks about day trading and I all but tell them they are stupid. I look down on people. I use my PF knowledge as a pedistole in which to do so. I think I have a disease.

Has anyone else gotten this way after first getting started with PF? Please. I'm seriously mean sometimes. I normally like a mouse. Hense my avatar. I should change it to a bear,

I don't shower people with compliments either when they tell what me they've been financing. I just let people tell me what they want to, and I listen. If they want my opinion, I'm sure they'll ask for it. However I do know some people who are clearly lost and they haven't asked me, so I'm not going to bother.

[scottish girl]

As with everything, the more knowledge you acquire the more aware you become of instances where it could have been done better. This is natural evolution of anyone gaining knowledge in anything.
We will always have masters and beginners.You practice what you gain by improving lesser situations.
sometimes this is other peoples situations :P
You have displayed a high degree of self awareness to realize you don't want to be this way.

Unfortunately some people never change when they gain knowledge, quickly forgetting that they too were once beginners themselves. And you see it in every profession, and every workplace.
You will see it frequently on these forums as well. there are a few here that believe superior finance knowledge is a license to undermine beginners with questions.
Thankfully they are a minority and generally stick around each other.

Everyone else is like yourself, people who seek to further their knowledge and understanding.
Think of the best teachers you have met, or business mentors.

There is those that display there superior knowledge and simply tell you get better or get out.
then there are those who bring out the best in us, offer guidance and let us discover the knowledge for ourselves.

Like someone with an addiction, all the preaching in the world wont make them change, they have to want it before you can help them.
The whole having to fall before they can rise up.
making the horse bought to water drink.

knowledge doesn't make me an asshole, stupid people do. and if they want to be wasteful and dumb, don't let your energies get wasted either in their stupidity.

decisive Paradox

Nicely put DP.

[bjl584]

Okay so I've gotten into this personal finance stuff lately. It's fantastic.

However, I'm starting to become a bitc& because of it. Like, someone gets a nice car and I don't really shower them with compliments. Someone talks about day trading and I all but tell them they are stupid. I look down on people. I use my PF knowledge as a pedistole in which to do so. I think I have a disease.

Has anyone else gotten this way after first getting started with PF? Please. I'm seriously mean sometimes. I normally like a mouse. Hense my avatar. I should change it to a bear,

I basically ignore what others are doing. It's not worth getting into a discussion or argument over. Through experience I've learned that it gets you nowhere. The other side of the coin is that it is also a good idea to keep your own finances to yourself. Don't go around bragging about how much you've saved or how large your portfolio is. That will cause just as much resentment with people as pointing out what they are doing wrong with their own lives.

[Fishindude77]

That's funny !
Glad to hear you are getting serious about your own situation.

I try to counsel immediate family, and might heckle close friends a bit sarcastically if I see them thinking about doing something stupid, but you have to be real careful with this because finances are personal and people can get really upset when you point out them making a dumb mistake. It's not something you want to lose friends over.

Just lead by example, and maybe some of your good habits will rub off.

[riverwed070707]

Personal Finance Tourette's! If you can hold your tongue when you feel like you're gonna come off as mean, you can come on here and post all the stupid things your co-workers and friends are doing. We'll listen, agree with you and then you won't have made new enemies, lol

This made me laugh but its true. People won't be receptive to hearing these things until they are ready to make a change in their lives. It did't take me long to figure that out when I got serious about our finances. On the other side, I have had a number of friends who are interested and who have asked for my advice and when that happens, I always start by emphasizing that I get how hard it is to get started because I've been in their situation and then proceed with a "here's how I did it" and offer to help them set up a budget.

[avil_saver36]

People are quite touchy about personal finances. This is because every day, each one of us is making at least one stupid financial decision. Some of the decisions are larger in scale. Intuitively, everyone knows this, but very very few of us have the power to control our "urge to splurge".

Buying a new car, buying coffee from Starbucks, going out to eat lunch, tipping in the restaurants (I have incited a lot of acrimony for this on another thread), taking vacations when you cannot afford it, failing to fund your retirement like it's life-and-death, taking loans to go to colleges, getting any degree from the college that is not STEM, buying latest electronic gizmos, having a cell phone plan with unlimited everything, paying for cable, paying to do the handyman's work in your house....need I go on? All of these are stupid personal financial decisions and every one of us commits one of these possibly every day of the year.

Just yesterday, I caved in and took the family out to a restaurant. I paid the 15% gratuity in a sit down place. Blew away $46. That was a few days of grocery bill. Stupid personal financial decision, but yesterday, I felt the need to be pampered like a weakling.

Realize that our entire economy is built on people being stupid with money. This is unfortunate. You can take advantage of the situation and become a saver while everyone else spends themselves into bankruptcy, but you don't have to be mean to anyone else. Also, are you sure you aren't being stupid with your money at least once in a while?

[Fishindude77]

Good points anvil-saver36
Realize that our entire economy is built on people being stupid with money. This is unfortunate. You can take advantage of the situation and become a saver while everyone else spends themselves into bankruptcy, but you don't have to be mean to anyone else. Also, are you sure you aren't being stupid with your money at least once in a while?

If you have been frugal and have cash, there are definitely some deals you can jump on and save a ton when people are in a $$ pinch. I picked up a boat a few months ago for about 2/3 price from a guy that needed to unload it in a hurry.
And yep .... we all make stupid financial decisions occasionally. Why in the heck did I need another boat, comes to mind

[Tabs]

Elsewhere on the internet is a concept called Frugaljerk.

To be fair, I think it is possible to feel elitist in just about anything. Perhaps it's even possible to feel elitist in trying not to be an elitist? Rambling thought.

I think the bottom line is whether or not we go around judging others in general. Although it's amusing and hard to resist sometimes, I find that the less I do so, the better off I am.

Besides, who really cares about what anybody else does with their money? I don't. I have enough to worry about with my own life haha.

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

Okay so I've gotten into this personal finance stuff lately. It's fantastic.

However, I'm starting to become a bitc& because of it. Like, someone gets a nice car and I don't really shower them with compliments. Someone talks about day trading and I all but tell them they are stupid. I look down on people. I use my PF knowledge as a pedistole in which to do so. I think I have a disease.

Has anyone else gotten this way after first getting started with PF? Please. I'm seriously mean sometimes. I normally like a mouse. Hense my avatar. I should change it to a bear,

Will just consider that although you will die rich, you will die alone, and your mouldering, rotting corpse will be consumed by the cats you own, who will be the only beings on this earth who can stand you.

[Butterscotch]

Will just consider that although you will die rich, you will die alone, and your mouldering, rotting corpse will be consumed by the cats you own, who will be the only beings on this earth who can stand you.

Haha! Yes, treating people negatively will rarely lead to positive results. Treating people poorly stems from insecurity and says more about you than it does about their financial choices.