Giving Up On My Co-Workers -sigh-

[LivingAlmostLarge]

It depends I guess. I too am turned to by many of my stay at home mom friends because I run the finances in our house and I appear to have it together. I can discuss with each of their husbands, mortgages, investments, taxes, etc. Most of these moms I hate to say this but they HAVE no idea what their husbands make, what their mortgage is, if they even save, etc.

They get ALLOWANCES, which okay fine, I probably have my DH on an allowance, but seriously they have no clue about money. All they understand is that they can't buy a house, aren't saving for retirement, can't afford to save for college.

When they complain to me I ask some basic questions and I get a spaced out zoned look of "my husband takes care of it." Seriously? You have a masters or phd or MD or JD, basically advanced degree and no clue?

I know they make good salaries but most are worried because their husbands are worried. They are worried and aren't doing a thing to make a budget, save, etc. I feel like a lot of people are like that and like a friend once told me "it's how we ended up $80k in CC debt on a $300k+ salary". Ummm holy ****. Yeah because she spent as much as she liked and her husband never said no until he said we have a problem.

In case you wondered they cashed out home equity to deal with the issue, not the smartest but who knows if it'll happen again.

[JoeP]

It is very easy to spend money, especially after a raise. This becomes the new financial baseline.

It is very difficult to dial back spending, especially when there are no alarms going off.

Unfortunately, they'll be much closer to retirement age when they finally notice those alarms, and the time to recover from the past and build a solid retirement foundation is short.

Look at the bright side, there are all kinds of businesses making money from people like your co-workers, and many of them are publicly traded.

[corn18]

Look at the bright side, there are all kinds of businesses making money from people like your co-workers, and many of them are publicly traded.

I need to find a business that takes advantage of this.

[normajean]

People spend their money how they see fit. Why are you trying so hard to "help" them?

[Singuy]

People spend their money how they see fit. Why are you trying so hard to "help" them?

I absolutely agree with this statement. The problem I am having is that these folks are severely misinformed! I just want them to at least understand what I am trying to say first, then they can go on their marry way. They, however, tells me that "everyone thinks paying off a mortgage is a bad idea because xyz".

For example, one of my insane co-worker wanted me to read this

http://www.financialsamurai.com/the-ideal-mortgage-amount-is-1-million-dollars/

to prove to me how wrong I am and how she SHOULD borrow 1 million because the article said so.

[JoeP]

Please take this as constructive feedback: it is really not worth getting all worked up trying to explain things to your co-workers. Look at the effort you put in versus the benefit you get out, and ask yourself if you're happy with how that's going for you. You can lead a horse to water...

You might find yourself happier just focusing on your own life. Also, if your exasperation with your co-workers is anything like what you've posted here, they might be happier as well.

[Singuy]

Please take this as constructive feedback: it is really not worth getting all worked up trying to explain things to your co-workers. Look at the effort you put in versus the benefit you get out, and ask yourself if you're happy with how that's going for you. You can lead a horse to water...

You might find yourself happier just focusing on your own life. Also, if your exasperation with your co-workers is anything like what you've posted here, they might be happier as well.

I am not a father, but I feel like they are like my 17 yo daughter (if I had one) who is in love with some gangster biker dude who is 30 yo..and she badly needs my consent. You just have a hard time saying "yes just follow your heart and whatever makes you happy". My co-workers are the same. They want my blessing because they want a financial guru to tell them they are making the right decision..lol

[bigdaddybus]

I suggest you give thanks to whomever you give thanks that you have such trivial issues in life!

Others have already nailed it, people wont change their behavior unless they want to or have to. Otherwise they will likely just stick to what they are comfortable with.

[Singuy]

I suggest you give thanks to whomever you give thanks that you have such trivial issues in life!

Others have already nailed it, people wont change their behavior unless they want to or have to. Otherwise they will likely just stick to what they are comfortable with.

This thread was created as a talking point. I am actually NOT worked up about other people's crazy decisions. Maybe the thread looked like it, but I find it amusing how other people spend their money, and how they badly need to convince me how right they are about it.

Makes my workday go by faster actually.

[John213]

I agree with the advice in here, but I guess I have another question. Same question as OP but what if its your family? Let say your Mom or sister is like OP's coworker? Would you give advice without them asking for one?

[Drake3287]

Your post could have been written by me! Same situation here, co-workers like myself all make over $100,000+ with wife's that also work and most of them don't have money in the bank or own a house, just toys and eating/drinking out every day. I on the other hand have a house almost paid off, nice cars, vacations, money in the bank, kids college fully funded and they wonder how I do it.

I think for the most part we learn to deal with our financial situation from our parents growing up. My parents were always conservative with any money they ever had and always lived within there means. I'm pretty much the same way because of it.