High Maintenance?

**bjl584** · 03-01-2012, 03:56 AM

I have ended several relationships because of money. There have been several women that didn't value saving and investing the same as me. They got upset and angry when I said that we couldn't go on a certain vacation or buy something because I simply couldn't afford it.

I am single now. I would be attracted to a girl that was responsible with her money. The amount of money that she had wouldn't matter as much as how she handled her daily finances. Lots of CC debt would be a deal breaker. Does she have a reasonable house and car? Does she save? Is she employed? I think that would be more important than net worth.

**disneysteve** · 03-01-2012, 04:16 AM

I think "high maintenance" can mean different things. I wouldn't necessarily say that someone driving a 50K car is high maintenance just based on that alone if they are otherwise modest in their lifestyle, and I do know many people who fit that description.

If I see a woman who has her hair professionally styled, a fancy manicure, carrying a designer bag and draped in gold and jewels, I wouldn't be the least bit interested. I don't care if she is a millionaire. That lifestyle and conspicuous consumption doesn't appeal to me. I'm looking for the woman (well I'm not looking but if I were looking) with her hair pulled back with an elastic band, wearing a t-shirt or average blouse, low end jeans, no makeup and not more than a necklace and ring or bracelet. And the purse should be nondescript, not emblazoned with some luxury logo like Coach or Louis Vitton.

**cypher1** · 03-01-2012, 06:39 AM

Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

I think "high maintenance" can mean different things. I wouldn't necessarily say that someone driving a 50K car is high maintenance just based on that alone if they are otherwise modest in their lifestyle, and I do know many people who fit that description.

If I see a woman who has her hair professionally styled, a fancy manicure, carrying a designer bag and draped in gold and jewels, I wouldn't be the least bit interested. I don't care if she is a millionaire. That lifestyle and conspicuous consumption doesn't appeal to me. I'm looking for the woman (well I'm not looking but if I were looking) with her hair pulled back with an elastic band, wearing a t-shirt or average blouse, low end jeans, no makeup and not more than a necklace and ring or bracelet. And the purse should be nondescript, not emblazoned with some luxury logo like Coach or Louis Vitton.

I'm definitely agree with this. I would consider those more of red flags and to be very aware of those factors of glamorous hair, makeup, jewelery, handbags, shoes. Honestly those just aren't my type of girl. I'd take Mary Ann over Ginger any day, or island

Then again I'd never date a girl who takes over an hour to get ready for a simple date.

But going back to the original post, for most people I'm sure money does play a big deal. But for me I'm not trying to impress a girl with my wallet. She can judge me on my car, clothes I wear, what I do for a living or how I mange my money. But if my standards don't meet her requirements then the best of luck on her search. First dates are pretty simple for me, drinks over happy hour, or a coffee shop. Keep it light and fun at least. Why spend a bunch of money on a first date trying to impress the date, when there could be no chemistry or attraction in the first place?

**disneysteve** · 03-01-2012, 07:00 AM

Originally posted by cypher1 View Post

I'd never date a girl who takes over an hour to get ready for a simple date.

Exactly, and that isn't just about money but does speak to the "high maintenance" issue. It takes my wife about 10 minutes to shower and do her hair, a few more minutes to get dressed and she's ready to walk out the door.

**Nika** · 03-01-2012, 07:09 AM

I say this as someone with friends who make a lot of money but I've yet to meet one who buys $400 shoes even making 6 figures. They just aren't interested in the trapping of stuff.

I don't know if they would tell you, actually. I have 1 pair of shoes right now that are $550. No one in real life knows that. I mean, I don't go around telling people how much my shoes cost (these were a gift btw, but thats beside the point). But man, buying shoes in this country is extremely difficult. These were the only ones that I found in years that satisfy all my criteria (being super light, comfortable, flexible, with a modest lift). They are not gorgeous or anything, they are just well build. Shoes here are incredibly bad quality. Even designer $400+ shoes. They may look beautiful, but they are stiff, hard, bad quality leather and not equipped for walking at all. They are either flats of 4" stilletoes. Finding a slipper like, flexible sole, beautiful shoe with a reasonable heel, that you can walk in for 1 hour a day is almost impossible. Even in NYC. If I find it, I would buy it, even at $400. but my shoe budget is safe - I don't see such things around.

I think the reason is that people don't walk in their shoes. Most of the America will only drive when they go some place, and shoes are kind of for decoration. In NYC and Europe you walk every day, and you walk a lot. But imports are based on the majority of the non-walking population.

I need shoes. I have money to buy them, I can't find a decent pair.

OK, my shoe rant is over. Had to get it of my chest.

**disneysteve** · 03-01-2012, 07:46 AM

Originally posted by Nika View Post

I have 1 pair of shoes right now that are $550. These were the only ones that I found in years that satisfy all my criteria (being super light, comfortable, flexible, with a modest lift).

Really? The only decent shoes you could find were $550? I guess that means 99.9% of the population isn't wearing decent shoes. I'm on my feet all day every day at work, I exercise regularly and I've never in my life spent more than $70 on a pair of shoes. I'm willing to accept that I could get better quality at a higher price but by higher price, I'm thinking $100 or $125, not that I'd ever spend that much. No way would I ever spend $400 or $500 or more. I don't' care how comfortable or well made they are.

**cypher1** · 03-01-2012, 08:23 AM

While I wouldn't spend $100+ on a pair of shoes, I understand where Nika is coming from for paying more money for higher quality. I know a guy who works at a retail store (guess makes under 35k), who will spend $200 on a pair of big name brand jeans, and will spend 100 for a simple haircut. His g/f says he loves fashion so much, and wants to make a statement. Umm...sure, pretty expensive statement. But I realize his money his priorities when he doesn't have debt, mortgage or kids. Do I expect someone on this forum to pay $600 for a new table saw, or over 1200 for used Marantz AV7005 processor, or 1000 for an Oppo BDP-95 blu ray player? I'm sure a lot of us are willing to pay more money on certain items than others would even fathom, but that doesn't always make us high maintenance. I realize this is starting to deviate from the high maintenance/dating topic.

**bjl584** · 03-01-2012, 08:24 AM

Originally posted by Nika View Post

I have 1 pair of shoes right now that are $550.

The shoes that I am wearing now were $40 at Kohls and they feel great. $550? Why? Where did you get them at? What is so special about them?

**YLTL_Dan** · 03-01-2012, 08:30 AM

Originally posted by cypher1 View Post

Then again I'd never date a girl who takes over an hour to get ready for a simple date.

Wow, I'd like to see your other 'standards' for dating! There are often times it takes my wife 1 hour to get ready, but she also goes without wearing make-up. She can pull off either quite well.

**YLTL_Dan** · 03-01-2012, 09:47 AM

Originally posted by bjl584 View Post

The shoes that I am wearing now were $40 at Kohls and they feel great. $550? Why? Where did you get them at? What is so special about them?

I've seen both sides of it... I used to buy cheaper shoes, but they seem to wear out a lot faster. As the OP mentioned, when I work in the downtown of cities and do a lot of walking on concrete, they don't last (from what I've found). However, there are ways to find quality shoes at some of the TJ Maxx / Marshall's stores.

I also have a friend who spends $400 on Ferragamo dress shoes... the kicker, he's had the same pair for 4-5 years. He has to occasionally get them re-soled, but doing that once a year is cheaper than buying new shoes every year.

I've settled on Johnston and Murphy shoes for myself. They're normally $100-$150, but they also have sales once or twice a year where you can find them half off. That's my plan!

**riverwed070707** · 03-01-2012, 10:04 AM

Originally posted by bjl584 View Post

The shoes that I am wearing now were $40 at Kohls and they feel great. $550? Why? Where did you get them at? What is so special about them?

Mine were clearanced for $10 at Payless lol. I too am on my feet all day and can personaly attest that you don't have to pay $500 for good shoes.

**mom-from-missouri** · 03-01-2012, 10:27 AM

I didn't even pay that much when my daughter had to wear special shoes as a child to correct a defect.....They were special made and were only $200, and came with a trade in deal, so if she outgrew them they would take them back and give me a % off of the next pair...

**cypher1** · 03-01-2012, 10:41 AM

Originally posted by YLTL_Dan View Post

Wow, I'd like to see your other 'standards' for dating! There are often times it takes my wife 1 hour to get ready, but she also goes without wearing make-up. She can pull off either quite well.

Hey, I have standards. They're low, but they're still there

So it takes your wife over an hour to get ready to go out without make-up?

**bjl584** · 03-01-2012, 10:46 AM

Originally posted by cypher1 View Post

Hey, I have standards. They're low, but they're still there

So it takes your wife over an hour to get ready to go out without make-up?

Sometimes it takes me an hour just to get out of bed.

High Maintenance?