Do you ever just not fit in because you're frugal?

[Daylily]

I think most of you on this board earn a living because somebody wants or needs the product or service you provide. Surely, you'd like them to keep buying.

I for one, ask each of you to leave the lights burning, turn down the air conditioning and leave the tv on 24/7. I need the money!

Agreed, I earn a living because someone purchases the services of my company. I am an IT professional but the industry that I am in is not very popular on this forum (life insurance) so I lay low on that subject. I can actually make reasonable arguments for when universal life makes sense for certain people.

That aside, I do spend money. As I mentioned I support the travel industry both domestic and international. I support the auto industry more than others on this forum because my DH drives 40,000 miles a year AND we buy NEW cars (gasp!). I also spend a lot more on food than most people because a hefty portion of our food dollars go to organic food and fair trade food and local food. I refuse to support commercially produced meat sources and animal confinement operations.

If you read carefully through the posts the theme has to do with feeling uncomfortable or out of place in the areas where others don't understand your frugality on those things for which you choose to be frugal - meals out, modest home, beater car, basic non-designer clothing, etc. - and dealing with their misunderstandings when we do splurge on something or when we say we pay cash for our cars or when we retire early or when we take a nice vacation that is not financed on a credit card.

In all events I think we can agree from the original post that that $275 diaper bag is just over the top. For that much money, the thing better be changing the diapers for me.

[PennySaved]

I remember with my first job, a high profile job. We went out on the town in a swanky metro area as a group of coworkers. They all were dressed in probably $1,000 of clothes, and that was back when we had no money. Me, on the other hand, I had old jeans and an old jacket that a college employer had given me. I was a fish out of water.

I'm pretty sure that today, they are deeply in debt and I'm on my way to independence.

[swanson719]

The only thing that surprises people is when they ask what our car note is and we say they are paid off. Often, I'll see people make excessive purchases, and I'll ask why, explaining that a similair item could be had for less and the difference invested. The standard response seems to be "I can't take it with me, so what do I care." Personally, I'd rather leave an inheritance to my kids and grandkids, but to each their own I suppose.

This thing of a starter home came about when it became unpopular to rent. It seems to be a class difference - the more debt you can take on, the better people look at you socially. It's an inverse relationship to what our grandparents experienced when debt was viewed as foolish whereas now it's viewed as a tool.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We support the travel industry heavily and subsidize education with my DH's tuition bills!

We're huge spenders on entertainment as well with snowboarding and going to concerts/sporting events/musicals/etc.

[MonkeyMama]

mom-from-missouri: You allude to something that always annoys me - when people say how expensive some activity is, whether it be horses or having a baby or going to Disney World or whatever. The truth is that lots of people MAKE those things expensive, far more expensive than they need to be.

I think this nails it on the head pretty good. If you have any luxury, people tend to think it costs far more than most frugal people would spend.

In my example, I am sure my co-worker meant I paid $20k+ cash for a new car. Not that I would find that unheard of. But we had paid $12k for a barely used car. Everyone kept asking me if we had leather seats stow&go, and automatic doors. (Um, NO???????) I've been asked about the stow & go the most. I finally started telling people the seats were more comfortable since they didn't fold up. (True, but the reason we didn't get the stow & go was because we would NEVER use it and it was EXPENSIVE! It's just more socially acceptable to point out something "luxurious" than cost savings).

A friend just told me the other day she only had $1k for her honeymoon so could not go to Vegas or Disney like she had wanted. I could go to both Vegas and Disney for $1k. LOL. That's what I was thinking - certainly at least one of them!!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Depends on where you are flying from to disney or vegas. SF? prolly.

[disneysteve]

Depends on where you are flying from to disney or vegas. SF? prolly.

If you are in San Fran, you could drive to Disneyland or Vegas and not need airfare. I've made that drive and it isn't bad at all. We drive from New Jersey to Disney World every year (we'll be doing it in a few weeks) and that is much farther than San Fran to Anaheim.

Disney World is always the example I use since we go there often. We can easily do a week in Disney World for the 3 of us for under $2,500 with very nice accommodations. If we needed to, we could do it for closer to $2,000. Lots of other people have told me that they went to Disney once but can't afford to go back for several years even though they'd love to go sooner. Their trip cost them $5,000 or more. They're shocked when I tell them what we spend.

[ScrimpAndSave]

It's interesting because while I do not spend a lot of money and go out...I end up saving a lot and then purchasing things that are high end that will last me a while.

For example, I have a BMW...but it is a 1998 with about 120,000 miles on it. It is paid cash for it a year ago ($6,000) and it is absolutely gorgeous. My other co-workers finance cars that are brand new - but not exactly reliable and VERY expensive.

I scrimped and saved (pun intended) to put 20% down on a sizable townhouse that is brand new and in a beautiful, safe community. The purchase price is similiar to what my friends are paying for their homes...but my monthly payment is much more affordable because I put 20% down while they put 3.5%.

When it comes to clothing...I don't really buy much. In fact, I haven't bought clothes within the last few years. But when I did buy clothing, I bought classic things that mix and match easily. I am a teacher and I see no problem in cycling the same 10-11 outfits.

Beauty products = dollar store. I think paying anything more than $3-$4 for soap, shampoo, conditioner or makeup is just too much.

Groceries: I'm an almost vegetarian (I eat a little fish - but no meat). $50 at the farmers market gets me fruit, veggies, brown rice and beans. That is really all that I need for a week and a half.

My latest splurge was furniture. I bought really good quality bedroom set, dining table, buffet, couch and chair. The rest I will accessorize with things from ikea and Target. No one will know the difference.

So I guess I do fit in...but no one really knows how much I am saving by my frugal ways.

[wincrasher]

Well in this economy, there is very little out there that you can't get a bargain on. Discounts on everything are there for the asking. Most everything is on sale all the time now.

I do worry that we are in a death spiral. As companies have to continue to reduce prices, there are less dollars to keep up the quality of goods and to hire/keep people and give raises. Kinda extending the misery instead of a big correction.

I see lots of people trying to bottom feed. They won't buy unless they can "steal it". But it's like it's politically incorrect now to have a nice car, nice clothes, nice furniture or - god forbid - artwork!

Believe me, I understand the greed. I LOVE discounts as much as anyone. But if people don't get back to a reasonable shopping mode pretty soon, we'll all be on the bread line.

[wincrasher]

Scrimp - what you describe is how I would define frugal. What most are talking about I would describe as miserly.

But please, leave the lights on, OK? We're hurting at the power company.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Wincrasher...keeping a light on just for you tonight! Haha

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Wincrasher, if what I posted is an example of miserliness expressed in this thread, please explain, won't you? I offer myself as the example you may use and promise no offense. I was just surprised that you are perceiving miserliness here.

[DebbieL]

Nothing that anyone posted seemed "miserly" to me???

[wincrasher]

Sorry, sometimes I don't contain my comments to the current thread.

I agree with what started it - the diaper bag price was ridiculous.

I guess I've been more scarred by the thread on the menstral cup than I first thought...

[Daylily]

Well in this economy, there is very little out there that you can't get a bargain on. Discounts on everything are there for the asking. Most everything is on sale all the time now.

I do worry that we are in a death spiral. As companies have to continue to reduce prices, there are less dollars to keep up the quality of goods and to hire/keep people and give raises. Kinda extending the misery instead of a big correction.

I see lots of people trying to bottom feed. They won't buy unless they can "steal it". But it's like it's politically incorrect now to have a nice car, nice clothes, nice furniture or - god forbid - artwork!

Believe me, I understand the greed. I LOVE discounts as much as anyone. But if people don't get back to a reasonable shopping mode pretty soon, we'll all be on the bread line.

Agree with your last sentence.
I've been doing my part: http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/g...g-economy.html