Do you ever just not fit in because you're frugal?

[mom-from-missouri]

mom-from-missouri: You allude to something that always annoys me - .... The truth is that lots of people MAKE those things expensive, far more expensive than they need to be.

Others are paying $300 a year for the vet to come out and give their horse the shots & coggins (or they could take to him for around $200). We paid $35 or $45 this year. There is a vet that advertises 4H specials and we did his special. Basically, he wants you to get together at least 3-4 kids and their horses. He came to our farm, but we could of gone to his--(in fact we orginally were going to his till he found out where we lived--not far from his granddaughter, so we did this on a day he was coming to visit her).

He talked to the kids, looked at their horses and taught the kids how to give the shots and draw the blood. Each kid then did their own horse under his supervision. He charged us HIS price for the shots--he made no money off of us, and no office visit charge. He wants the kids to learn it.

But, next time we need a vet--who are we going to think of first?? him. He gave us a good lesson.

[Daylily]

With the years I got used to comments like "You have to do everything different!" "Oh but you are the exception", etc, etc.

Somewhat along the same line I get tired of hearing "MUST BE NICE" whenever I take time off work for a vacation. I try not to bring up the subject but when my coworkers see I have two weeks reserved on the calendar they want to know where I'm going.

We all have things in life on which we splurge. For the people in the original post, a $275 diaper bag may be their weakness. For me it is travel. In order to support my habit I save religiously, I take my lunch to work every day, I live in an extremely modest house for my income level, I don't buy stuff that I don't need, I don't buy stuff to impress other people.

My coworker probably spends $40-50 a week on coffee at work, lunch from the cafeteria and an afternoon snack daily from the vending machine. Her husband probably spends the same amount. Plus, they eat out at least once a week, maybe more. They also have a MUCH nicer house than I have and I imagine they have a combined household income greater than my household income. They are free to do with their money as they like and I don't make any comments about it - so I get just a tad irritated when she says of my vacations 'Must be nice.'

Well, Yes it is nice but I had to make sacrifices to make it happen! I just find it really insensitive to have my spending judged so openly like that given that I don't lecture her on her daily spending. I know she doesn't mean anything by it but sometimes it is irksome to hear.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

DS I'm trying to buy a few different brands. Testing it out.

That $275 diaper bag is pretty pricey still.

[disneysteve]

Somewhat along the same line I get tired of hearing "MUST BE NICE" whenever I take time off work for a vacation.

Yes, I get that, too. Someone says, "must be nice" when we take a trip but the comment comes from someone who leases a new car every 3 years or goes to the movies every single weekend or has a couple of dogs or is always showing off a new cell phone or purse or shoes. They don't seem to comprehend that part of the reason we are able to take those trips is because I'm driving a 12-year-old car, my wife is driving a 9-year-old car, I pack my lunch every day (they go out for lunch), we don't have expensive pets, I hardly ever buy clothes and we do various other things to minimize our spending.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Pets are ridiculously expensive. Kinda like having a kid.

[sandrark]

Yes, I get that, too. Someone says, "must be nice" when we take a trip but the comment comes from someone who leases a new car every 3 years or goes to the movies every single weekend or has a couple of dogs or is always showing off a new cell phone or purse or shoes. They don't seem to comprehend that part of the reason we are able to take those trips is because I'm driving a 12-year-old car, my wife is driving a 9-year-old car, I pack my lunch every day (they go out for lunch), we don't have expensive pets, I hardly ever buy clothes and we do various other things to minimize our spending.

Me three.

DH are still in the "starter house" we bought in 1992, while all of our friends and siblings have traded up.

We eat out occasionally, and have a budget.

We don't shop recreationally; we go to the mall when we have to shop for Xmas gifts, and we set a limit of $20 per person (with the agreement of our families).

We SAVE UP and pay cash for a lot of what we buy. We are now considering a used van purchase for our camping trips (silly me, I'd like a van with a passenger-side airbag). Vans have plummeted in value, so we can get one for 1/3 what they cost new for a 5 year old van with less than 30K miles.

When I mentioned it to a friend, her first comment was "Boy, you guys sure are spending a lot of money lately!" Umm, not really. We have no vacation scheduled this year, other than camping; we haven't adopted two kids and quit work (like she has); my car is paid off (two years early); and most of our house improvement projects are done.

It's all about CHOICES. We CHOOSE to live well below our income, and save. When we do choose to spend, we take our time and find a deal. And we don't spend what we don't have...

Sandi

[Ima saver]

I am glad we are so like minded on this forum. Yet, each of us has something that we splurge on. For dh and I, it is cars. we don't spend money on shopping, hair cuts, manicures, cell phones, etc. We save and are very frugal so we can afford a new sports car every few years.
My husband's motto is "life is too short to drive an ugly car" He has worked 7 days a week in the past 32 years!

[disneysteve]

DH are still in the "starter house" we bought in 1992, while all of our friends and siblings have traded up.

Yes, cars and houses seem to be what does in most people. We've been in our house for over 15 years. I can probably count on one hand how many of our close friends can say the same.

I've been at my job for over 9 years. I am the only person working here still driving the same car as when I started. Everyone else is on at least their 3rd car since then.

[Radiance]

I really wished I never bouth the stroller, you end up carrying the baby and puching the stroller with the other hand. watch them parents do that everywhere.

I buy wipes because of the pre-school and for "#2's on the go" only.
Number ones I wipe with a wet, very mildy soapy cloth.
#2's at home I wash the bottom and pat dry.

I do not own a diaper pail or a diaper bag.
I did cloth diapers until he was 3 months old and got lazy.
Baby towels don't work, a regular adult towel works much better, baby is dry faster and he needs less rubbing. (try to dry a baby while he crawls all over the bed)

I saw pacifier wipes the other day, 30 count for $4.45...! What in heaven is that!
If his pacifier falls to the floor, I wipe it with my own clothes and maybe rinse with a little of his water and goes back in. (I am reducing his pacifier minutes a day but sometimes I give in)

I only buy 1 pair of shoes for him at a time and he didn't own a pair of shoes until he started walking.

PJ are the ones I buy more often because it is very uncomfortable for him if the PJ is not snuggle.

I don't even know what else I don't need... I didn't even had a gift registry, I asked for cash or gift cards at target.

But really, receiving blankets, wash clothes, diapers (have you seen the all in one systems AIO? awesome, but about $17 each... one size fits all. Still less expensive than disposables. A safety kit: Nail Scissors, termometer and the thing to suck mucus.
A place to sleep, he slept between mom and dad until 3 and a half months.
erg, eh, we put a doggie bed between us. Hey! it was the most beautiful baby blue and the softest fabric ever! They do not take baths for the first few months, so no need to buy a bath thingy at the beggining. A Mobile is nice, as a newborn he loved to watch the lights and listen to the music, he could see the ornamens. Clothing, they like the ones where the legs stay together, they are too springy for their legs to stay inside the pants. I had to do a laundry load every 2 days (but I was doing cloth diaper) Cloth, all they need are the whole body suit.
To care for the unbilical cord, alcohol and q-tips.
If you are breastfeeding, you need the cream for you....What else?
I think that is all I ever used for the the first 3 months. No other appliance, no other furniture. Ah, I put his clothing on a 3 drawers with wheels we got at kia.
Unfortunatelly I had breastfeeding issues and had to rent a pump and buy formula supplies (bottles, bottle brush, etc) THis we got as an emergency when he was 2 days old, we were not expecting to need any of that.

Did I miss anything else?
Oh, I dont do baby books, just tons of digital pictures and videos

[Ima saver]

WE have only owned 3 homes in the 32 years we have been married. We have moved up to a bigger home 13 years ago, but our homes have always been paid for. DH is a builder, so the labor is always FREE!

[DebbieL]

Yes, cars and houses seem to be what does in most people. We've been in our house for over 15 years. I can probably count on one hand how many of our close friends can say the same.

I've been at my job for over 9 years. I am the only person working here still driving the same car as when I started. Everyone else is on at least their 3rd car since then.

When exactly did this marketing ploy of "starter home" get started? I will never understand this. My parents have been in the same house since I was 1 (1971), my oldest sister and her husband bought a place in 1977 and lived there until she died (2000), my other older sister and her husband bought a place in 1995 and are still there with no plans to move - ever. I honestly wouldn't go through the bother of buying if I was only going to be in a place a few years. Heck, I've been in the same rental for over 8 years now.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

LAL, are you looking for books for baby or books about baby? The library should have a good collection of books about baby, but they show up in thrift stores a lot, too. I recommend that savers read several of them. Not only can you learn about the development of your baby, but such books can save you money by pointing out what ordinary things around the household are valuable baby "toys" which engage and teach your baby.

I'm going to make a more extensive post in the frugal questions and answers section about this.

[disneysteve]

When exactly did this marketing ploy of "starter home" get started?

I've wondered the same thing. My parents bought their house in 1955. My mom sold it 3 years ago, 2006, to move into a senior apartment complex.

We bought our one and only house in 1994 and have no plans to leave it until probably retirement in 15-20 years.

On the other hand, I know people who have moved 2 or 3 or 4 times in 15 years and none of the moves were due to job changes/relocation. They were just to get bigger and better places.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Me! I'd love to get into a starter home. I'm not even in SFH. I think it started when people in HCOLA wanted home but only could afford condos.

Then since they got used to moving every 7-10 years it permeated to lower COLAs and people thought I'd buy a nicer home.

Me? I'd love a nice SFH. One day. But for now townhouse here I stay.

We'll probably rent a SFH when we next move and buy our final home till we downsize. That would be 3 home purchases.

[wincrasher]

The other day a workman in the office was using a screw gun to repair the table our printer sits on. As the screw went in, it started making this very loud squeeling noise.

One of my guys said I should check my wallet. Obviously, a dollar was probably slipping out!

I don't think I'm that tight. There is nothing wrong with spending lots and lots of money on things you want. As long as you can afford it.

I think most of you on this board earn a living because somebody wants or needs the product or service you provide. Surely, you'd like them to keep buying.

I for one, ask each of you to leave the lights burning, turn down the air conditioning and leave the tv on 24/7. I need the money!