Getting a little tired of being so frugal...

[m3racer]

I'm not OCD. I'm bipolar.

Still doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. Just stay on your meds and enjoy the life that you have in front of you.

[Broken Arrow]

I'm not OCD. I'm bipolar.

How severe is it? Have you sought professional help for that? Are you taking medications for it?

[cschin4]

.bc I am not happy with my life like it is.


Why not?

[cschin4]

Oftentimes, our lives our fine, but it is our perspective that needs to change. We seem to get bogged down on the negative and not realize all the blessings we really have. And sometimes we just need to recharge our batteries by doing something new, getting involved in the community, etc.

[ScrimpAndSave]

I'm not on medication...I tried so many different ones and different combinations...it is hard for me to be sleepy/angry/depressed and feeling all of those different side effects while I am teaching 700 students. I'm better off with nothing. I just sort of fend for myself.

[MiikeB]

I'm not on medication...I tried so many different ones and different combinations...it is hard for me to be sleepy/angry/depressed and feeling all of those different side effects while I am teaching 700 students. I'm better off with nothing. I just sort of fend for myself.

I am in the same boat, bipolar but I do not take meds, mostly because I don't want my life to become dependent on a pill.

Look, just start saving less. That is all there is to it. You have shown you know how to live tight when necessary, but its not right now. Just start setting aside another $100 or $150 a paycheck for fun money. Go out to eat with some friends, take your dad out, have a good time

[LivingAlmostLarge]

First off you should be saving for a Roth IRA. Again you are losing focus of the large picture.

All you can see is buying your dad's house. And again you ask why $150k? Because you can't afford to live there otherwise.

You want to buy it on your salary, not a problem. But you right now are paying $200/month rent, no utilites, no maintenance, nothing extra to your dad.

What will happen when you live independently with a salary? Again why I push towards moving out on your own. YES you will not be able to save as much. But there is a lot to be said for learning to live independently.

I am sorry about the bipolar. Perhaps living independently might help in some ways. Maybe it would force you to examine what you want out of life.

What sort of future do you want? Solo? Married? Independent from dad? Where do you want to be and see yourself?

How will it affect you to live alone? Will you want to go out with friends more? Thus forcing you to spend money?

Will you volunteer and maybe meet new people? Have you considered volunteering at a women's shelter or food bank? I've found that volunteering really helps me keep perspective when I get a bit down.

I need it to remember how much I HAVE. I am healthy, married (pretty happily), my family is well, and I have a job. There isn't much else. Everything else is icing on the cake.

It sounds like you are desperately seeking more icing. Sometimes you have to realize you have icing. Eat it.

Please, please, please consider breaking out of the rut. Seriously go do something, anything. I am having trouble blogging right now because I've been so busy with my DH having fun. Go have the same problem.

[Seeker]

SAS, at a point in time, I had your id on ignore. Your attitude and writings affected me in a manner that I did not wish to read nor deal with. I feel for you ; I also feel for your ex.

What people are writing here is to your best interest. All of it.

You are young and suffering and causing your own struggles. Fortunately, you have a job that is contracted and has a very good future financially. A lot of us have no such guarantees.

You only have one life.... why struggle so drastically? Why punish yourself?

The all-or-nothing attitude is what drives people away.

There has to be balance... and until you find that, you may always be "dissatisfied."

[ScrimpAndSave]

Seeker - you seriously had me on ignore?

I'm sorry.

[Seeker]

SAS, live each day as it comes.

Nobody knows what the future holds for you. Not even you.

You can control only one thing in life... yourself. Your feelings, your needs and your wants.

Do not deny yourself ; do not be so destructive to the only thing that should matter to you. Your life and your enjoyment of it while it exists.

You're striving to place all your eggs in one basket --- the physical thing that you buy will never satisfy ; nor will saving money for an object that will ultimately be gone some day (yes, maybe not in your lifetime), but it's only a physical thing that will not be forever. And can be gone in a few minutes.

The thing that IS forever is the good feelings and things we do for others. They will remember... that's what is carried forward.

The things we ENJOY in life are the things we do for others or with others. The common theme is DOING, giving, enjoying.

You already do this with your children where you work. Do it for yourself too.

[sakigt]

The fact is, I see you being house poor - despite not having a mortgage! Dedicating the vast majority of your income to a building....is that truely what you enjoy? A home?

It doesnt sound like a true motivation for yourself otherwise you would be more excited. You need to list your goals in life, then spend how you feel is appropriate. Even if your goal in life is your father's home, it cant absorb you. Youll be 30 years old and debt free. Whooptie do. Now what?

Life is all about balance. Im spending $3000 for my husband and I go to to Bolivia to visit his family and Ive got $2500 in student loans I could pay off. Financial forums would crucify me but in the end, its my business to decide, not theirs. As long as youre putting some savings away and not living a lifestyle you cant afford - do whatever the hell you want.

Unfortantly sometimes debt is created by trying to buy happiness. Sometimes savings for happiness can be just as harmful.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Sakigt, that's a great analogy. She's house poor before even owing the house.

[wincrasher]

I hope that she really thinks about it and comes to realize that this dream is out of reach - at least for quite a while.

I fear that when she gets to the point of having just enough money to make either this house or another work out, she will get that house without enough money for the unforeseen expenses, remodel, decorating, furniture, taxes, insurance, etc. Then that dream will be an albatross.

Then she'll meet a guy that already has a place, and they'll want to sell both and get a place together. So all will have been for nothing.

Isn't that a cheery viewpoint?

[Seeker]

I hope that she really thinks about it and comes to realize that this dream is out of reach - at least for quite a while.

I fear that when she gets to the point of having just enough money to make either this house or another work out, she will get that house without enough money for the unforeseen expenses, remodel, decorating, furniture, taxes, insurance, etc. Then that dream will be an albatross.

Then she'll meet a guy that already has a place, and they'll want to sell both and get a place together. So all will have been for nothing.

Isn't that a cheery viewpoint?

There's nothing wrong with dreaming and working toward a goal. The problem with SAS is that once she gets this idea in her head, it becomes her sole pursuit.... to the detriment of all else. She's working herself into Scrooge-- and that's not a good place to be. Not if you want to enjoy your life while pursuing that which is sought.

She's the youngest of her Dad's children. I believe all of their family supports him and her in this endeavor. I seriously doubt that SAS will be abandoned once she gets the house... as I understand it, her Dad and she are together for mutaully beneficial reasons.

And LAL she pays $200 every two weeks (so $400 a month); in the whole scheme it's not a lot of money, but again they benefit and support each other. I think she wrote before that her Dad has cancer.

Regardless of the house, she needs to pursue life... and the enjoyment of it too. To pursue one thing to the exclusion of all else, makes for a person with a lot of regrets later on in life.

[cschin4]

seeker - Post #55 Well said!