Getting a little tired of being so frugal...

[disneysteve]

As I said in an earlier thread, you need to trim back on the saving rate and bump up the spending rate. You've saved 20K on a 47K income. That's over 42% going to savings. While that sounds fantastic, I actually don't think it is in your case. I think there is a point where one can be saving too much and other areas of life suffer as a result. Surely, you don't need to be saving 42% to meet your financial goals.

Cut back that savings rate even by 2% to 40%. That will give you an extra $75-80/month to spend on whatever. If you want to spend it at Wegman's (pretty much the only place we shop anymore), go right ahead.

And I haven't even counted your upcoming raise. That'll give you another $80/month so you could actually keep saving just as much and spend the added income. That's fine too.

Bottom line is you need to enjoy life today while simultaneously preparing for the future. You can't do either one by itself. Far too many people live for today and don't save for tomorrow. You've been doing just the opposite and you should stop and find some better balance in your life.

[jIM_Ohio]

I agree with steve. 30% savings rate should be plenty and do not obsess about every penny. I don't obsess over the money we spend (our savings rate is about 22% and we spend freely around $300-$400/mo).

I miss Wegmans... I could probably shop there for 3 hours... tell Danny I said hello.

[snafu]

scrimp&save: I hope you will follow the practical suggestions that have been offered. Would you consider taking time to focus on the balance in your life? Perhaps your savings efforts are skewering balance. You need not stick to a $50. weekly food budget and you need to shop at your preferred store. Why not bump up your allocations to reflect your raise! Do you know a square of quality, dark chocolate helps raise endomorphs and lifts the spirit. Ah... play positive tapes in your mind and enjoy life

[GREENBACK]

I don't mean to get off subject here but I don't know what "Wegman's" is. Can someone clarify. I'm in the midwest so maybe it's an eastern thing. Google turned up nothing for me.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Thank you all for your feedback.

I thought about just using the $1800 raise into my "play money"...but then I started to think, isn't that how people get into trouble? They get raises and then adjust their spending so that they keep spending beyond their means? I don't know...I guess I just recognize key phrases where people usually go wrong...

"I work hard so I deserve to splurge."
"I got a raise, so I can afford it now."

I started aggressively saving because my exfiance had about $140,000 in student loans...so I figured I would try to save every freaking penny I could to make our situation the best that I could. I'm not in that situation anymore...but I do want to save for a house (hoping to have $40,000 by the end of this school year).

I'm going through a lot of emotions obviously...and I need to get out more.


Thanks all.

[kork13]

I don't mean to get off subject here but I don't know what "Wegman's" is. Can someone clarify. I'm in the midwest so maybe it's an eastern thing. Google turned up nothing for me.

Wegman's is a grocery store chain up in the north east. My grandparents live up in Syracuse, NY, and live right across the street from one. It seems that the chain is generally very popular from everything I've heard of it.

[GREENBACK]

Thank's Kork. Wasn't sure if this was a D-store or grocery store or what.

[jIM_Ohio]

Thank you all for your feedback.

I thought about just using the $1800 raise into my "play money"...but then I started to think, isn't that how people get into trouble? They get raises and then adjust their spending so that they keep spending beyond their means? I don't know...I guess I just recognize key phrases where people usually go wrong...

"I work hard so I deserve to splurge."
"I got a raise, so I can afford it now."

I started aggressively saving because my exfiance had about $140,000 in student loans...so I figured I would try to save every freaking penny I could to make our situation the best that I could. I'm not in that situation anymore...but I do want to save for a house (hoping to have $40,000 by the end of this school year).

I'm going through a lot of emotions obviously...and I need to get out more.


Thanks all.

that is why the financial plan should define savings as a percentage. 20% is where it's at for me- 15% to retirement and 5% to short term needs. When a raise is applied, save 20% of the raise, spend the rest. When you get a bonus, save 20% and spend the rest.

Live by the percentage and you will not ever spend more than you earn. And you **should** be able to retire with same level of spending as you had in pre-retirement.

[jIM_Ohio]

Wegman's is a grocery store chain up in the north east. My grandparents live up in Syracuse, NY, and live right across the street from one. It seems that the chain is generally very popular from everything I've heard of it.

It is a restaurant, pharmacy, grocery and specialty food store. I have lived in midwest and had wegmans growing up... there is nothing like it.

Kroger and Meijer are more like Kmarts when compared to Wegmans. They are all over NY state, and I have seen them as far south as Erie, PA and some other northern PA towns (like Williamsport and a few others along US-15).

[srblanco7]

It is a restaurant, pharmacy, grocery and specialty food store. I have lived in midwest and had wegmans growing up... there is nothing like it.

Kroger and Meijer are more like Kmarts when compared to Wegmans. They are all over NY state, and I have seen them as far south as Erie, PA and some other northern PA towns (like Williamsport and a few others along US-15).

Great store and as I understand it, they moved as far South as the suburbs of DC and as far east as the suburbs of Boston.

[disneysteve]

I thought about just using the $1800 raise into my "play money"...but then I started to think, isn't that how people get into trouble? They get raises and then adjust their spending so that they keep spending beyond their means?

That's absolutely true. You, however, don't fit that description because you are not currently (nor, do I imagine, will you ever be) spending beyond your means. You could spend every penny of that raise at Wegman's (which isn't tough to do at all ) and still be saving the exact same amount you are saving now. It would just represent a slightly lower percentage of your total income.

As I've posted many times, my system is similar to Jim's. I save 20% of my gross. My wife puts 50% of her gross into her 401k. We live on what's left and really don't track or budget or obsess about where that remainder goes. If it goes for groceries, that's fine. If it goes for vacations or movies or computer gadgets or new cell phones or casino gambling or fine dining, that's fine too because all of our financial needs and goals are being taken care of first. We are preparing well for the future but living a life we love today.

[ScrimpAndSave]

I guess I get stressed because I want to buy a house (my dad's) so badly...and I know I am going to NEED a hefty downpayment. With Obama pushing this $15,000 tax credit - I would love to be able to buy at the end of the year.

We'll see.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We've talked and talked and talked to death. I don't think you can afford the house even with the house credit, and substantial downpayment. It's $300k and you aren't quite making $80k year, something like in 2 years right? And even then you'd need $150k downpayment.

But at what cost? Not dating for 2-3 years because you live at home with your dad?

We've discussed moving out because then you have freedom to date and perhaps meet someone. Or the person you are dating won't feel weird inviting you to "spend" the night and NOT go home to "dad'. Or maybe going away for the weekend. Or just hanging out at your place. Or will you be the girl always at her boyfriend's place?

You are just out of relationship so I'm not advocating jumping back into one. But it might be nice to just go out and have FUN. Start volunteering somewhere. Maybe that would lead to dinners out with FRIENDS. Then meeting more new people, joining more activities which cost money.

My BIL was sad when we moved away. He started volunteering at SPCA. Took classes, meet people, joined a floor hockey league, and began to HAVE FUN as a single guy. He has been dating, but just all his "hobbies" cost money. He goes out most nights with friends calling, he gets around. I love that he's keeping busy and not sitting at home depressed over being cheated on and dumped by his Ex.

He's been reborn. And you will too. But you won't if you are sitting at home with dad and counting pennies to buy a home. Take this as someone, who if we were face to face I'd hug you and tell you "wanna see he's just not into you this weekend?" And a some ice cream (it's a girl thing!)? Go out and get active.

[cschin4]

Why can't you shop at both Wegman's and Walmart? Just go do a price check on some things you frequently buy and learn who has the better prices. Pick up what you really need at Walmart if it is indeed cheaper and then go to Wegman's as well. We frequently hit on 2 grocery stores.
As for having "fun", perhaps you need to rethink your definition of fun and get some more interesting things in your life. Life can be full and interesting AND inexpensive. I think too many people just fall into the TV watching/net surfing and don't take the time to pursue other hobbies and get bored.
Take a close look at your Local Community. THere are lots of things to do and enjoy all around you. I have become a 'fan' of the local college basketball team. They are nothing special and certainly not in the top divisions. But for $3.00 I go and cheer them on and have a great time. I go to the local theater and see a live play for a couple of bucks. There are many courses, classes, craft offerings, clubs and so forth all around. Cheap or free. Get the local paper.
Take up playing an instrument or some other hobby. Go out and volunteer or coach a little league team, etc. If you are doing things like that you enjoy, you aren't going to feel tired of being frugal, because you won't even notice. That is one of the points I try to make in that frugality just becomes a mindset and way of life rather than like a diet where you feel like you are just gritting your teeth getting through the day.

[jIM_Ohio]

LAL's most recent post is excellent advice- but advice can only be good if you take good advice- if you just read it, it really means nothing.