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I think whether you choose to stay at home or be in the workforce, the bottom line is to be informed....every single person should be considering the issues raised, not in a pessimistic sense but in a nuts and bolts way. A fully informed decision (regardless of what the decision is) is always a better decision.
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Yes, I'm new here. This topic really caught my eye and I felt I just had to chime in. The debate over being a working mom or stay-at home mom may never end. I have to say it's definitely a choice that each individual has to make. Is it a risk? Sure, any decision you make can be considered a risk. You can't know what will happen in the future.
I do think the attacks on stay-at-home moms are unfounded and totally unnecessary. Why are you so angry that you feel the need to attack somebody for doing what they choose to do? Are you jealous? I think there are many working moms who wish they could be home instead of at work. I can tell you from my own experience, I missed so much of my son's childhood because I was at work. I watched his preschool pageants and kindergarten graduation on video after work, thanks to my parents who were always there with video camera in hand. It was very hard for me to tell him I couldn't attend these things. He was too little to understand, but I had to work. I was divorced and my ex could have cared less about either of us.
Many years later, and years wiser, I made a cautious decision to enter marriage again. I had my career, my grown son, numerous assets. Four years later we discussed children. Wow, starting again? Did I want to do it? I put hours upon days of thought into how this was going to work into my life, career, marriage. I discussed all these things with my spouse and son. In the end, I left my career....as a Bank Manager, and my salary and its security behind.
I have 2 beautiful daughters which I wouldn't trade for anything. I love watching them every day. I love getting up in the morning to the sound of my 3 year old saying "mommy, wake up". No more alarm clocks for me! I love having breakfast and lunch in my sundrenched kitchen. I love playing in the yard with them. I can't wait until they start school and I attend all those wonderful things I could never go to when my son was little. Do I think I'll go back to work when they're in school? I haven't decided yet, but probably not.
Do I worry about my husband divorcing me and having no money? Quite simply, no. I have a wonderful marriage based on trust and faith. Faith by the way is an important part of a marriage and raising a family. I have learned to manage our single income finances. I look for ways to save oney in everything we buy and do. I use coupons. Why not save a buck if you can? My experience in banking has taught me to diversify and save money. I control all the finances. My husband makes the money, I take care of the rest. We lack nothing. We vacation many times each year. We have a large home, land, new vehicles. We donate to charity. We are involved in our community. We voluteer and will teach our children to do the same.
And for the young lady who thinks because she's a college student she knows everything.... I do not feed my children Ramen, ever. Although my grown son does enjoy it so I buy it for him. My children are fed 3 nutritious meals with snacks like fruit cheese and vegetables. I'm sure there are some moms out there that are "lazy". I know a few "lazy" college students too. I know lots of "lazy" people. You are what you choose to be!
Life is about taking risks. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don't.Comment
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risks everywhere
Oh man, this is a debate close to my heart--and women are terrible critics of each other about their choices.
But I do think for women, staying at home has inherent risks including loss of income, loss of pension, and even marriages based on trust and faith often break apart. The simple fact is that when marriages fall apart, women take a harder hit financially--some because of the sacrifices they've made to stay at home--less years experience, less education, etc.
While I completely trust my husband, I think women need to keep an eye on money, funding their IRAs and watching their employability. He could be hit by a truck or whisked away by a blonde or a spaceship!Comment
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I haven't been following this thread but happened to catch this fantastic post. Bravo!Originally posted by lmsmith67 View PostComment
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This has been a great discussion. At times, the comments have become heated.
Let's bring it all back to the basic point: we're not here to criticize each other's choices becus, after all, we're all free to live as we want. My thought in posting about this book/author was a kind of precautionary note for those of us here who are SAHMs to stay alert becus as part of a single-income household, you are much more vulnerable to financial hardship in the event of some very real possibilities such as: divorce, disability or death of a spouse. It's hard enough to deal with that, but when you have additional mouths to feed, it's an even greater challenge.
I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom here, nor to make anyone defensive, but i am pragmatic and believe in taking reasonable steps to safeguard my assets and employability.
There's a big difference between the ease with which a person finds a job after he or she's been laid off, and the difficulty of a SAHM mom who attempts to renter the workforce after 5, 10, 15 or more years off. Your skillset is rusty and depending on your industry, it may be next to impossible to re-enter your field at a level parallel to what you did before.Comment
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Originally posted by Fern View Post
I believe all people should be alerted of their situation and vulnerability but anything can happen in life and we can never be sure that we are taken care of. What if the mother goes back to work and makes more money than the husband and they divorce and the wife has to pay alimony? That puts her in a worse financial situation in my opinion. I think it’s more how we take care of our situation to protect ourselves and our partner no matter what path we take and to be prepared the best way we can.
There are just too many case scenarios that can happen for each path we take.Comment
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