Does this sound familiar?

[jIM_Ohio]

Well you know that I am on another forum and many of the other forum members harass me constantly because I am a saver. They don't want to hear anything I say about saving and budgeting. They go to the point of being rude to me and talking about me on other forums.
They say I live for money, which is not true at all. It really bothers me that they get so upset over me talking about money.

send me a private mail with forum url's and I'll harass right back. I have the time if they have the impatience.

[disneysteve]

They say I live for money, which is not true at all.

This is when it really gets annoying. Fortunately, I haven't encountered that because the folks who know how much of a personal finance junkie I am, also know me well enough to know how and where I like to spend our money too. They see the balance in my life. At the same time I'm talking about a great deal I got at the supermarket or what we bought at the thrift shop, I'm also planning our next vacation. I always try and show how saving enables us to do things we might not otherwise be able to afford. That's the lesson we keep trying to instill in our daughter so that she grows up learning that you don't save just for the sake of saving, but rather to create opportunites.

I must be doing okay because I have several friends who come to me for advice when they are planning a trip because they know I'm the go to guy for budget travel info.

[crabbypatty]

Well you know that I am on another forum and many of the other forum members harass me constantly because I am a saver. They don't want to hear anything I say about saving and budgeting. They go to the point of being rude to me and talking about me on other forums.
They say I live for money, which is not true at all. It really bothers me that they get so upset over me talking about money.

Are we the same person?LOL I left a forum for similar reasons. I don't know what kind of board you're talking abou but Mommy boards are notorious for stuff like that.

People thought I "talked about money too much". I was talking about the same stuff you were, budgeting and saving. But people would rather have talked about their new clothes, or cars or vacations , and then complain that they had no money.

It bothered me too at first but I just found forums more suited to my needs.

[Ima saver]

No, mine is a local forum in my home town. I like being on the forum because I have met some nice people moving in here. However, many of the natives don't believe that people should discuss money at all. They are grown people, mostly with children and they have no savings, no ira's, nothing but money spent on electronic toys, guns, etc. No one here seems to understand that they have to plan for their retirement.
Living on social security is almost impossible, especially for widowed women.

[disneysteve]

many of the natives don't believe that people should discuss money at all. They are grown people, mostly with children and they have no savings, no ira's, nothing but money spent on electronic toys, guns, etc.

Interesting that they don't believe in discussing money but apparently felt ok with sharing that they had no savings.

[Ima saver]

Well, you can say something, like how there is still time to get your roth ira money in for this year, by april 15th, and they will say, who has money to save when you have a house payment and 4 kids to feed?? So, they don't really discuss money, just let you know that they think saving is a low priority in their lives.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'm too embarrassed to every talk money. I doubt any of my friends have any idea that we even save for retirement. It's pretty obvious right now because we're the only ones who own a home, and they knew we bought 5 years ago another home. But I guess most just think we do okay. We never mention our money.

I'm way to quiet. If someone asked me point blank I'd tell them but most have no idea. Is this unusual? I just thought people never talked about money.

[BCHGRL]

I feel for you. I truly wish people would mind their own business. Your habits, goals, etc. are your own business. I don't know the whole circumstance, but I assume that you don't broadcast your financial situation or impose your own opinion on others (some people do and open themselves up for criticism).

Honestly, it is not just money. A really nice guy at work is getting divorced and so is a really nice woman. The rumors are flying. My position is that whether they are friends leaning on each other or something more, it is really none of my business. I wish them happiness, but it is not my place to speculate on their lives.

Your coworkers don't have to know about your financial situation except for your daily lunch routine. When I don't want to spend money I blame it on my diet (which is somewhat true) and proceed to eat the lunch that I brought in with me.

[cschin4]

I have found that NOT discussing your finances with people is the way to go. And, don't make comments like "I can't afford it", etc when you don't want to spend. This is an invitation for people to either tell you that you can afford it or that you should just treat yourself, etc. If you go out with people, just smile and say "no thanks". Don't discuss your financial rationale because it really doesn't get you anywhere and it really is none of their business.
2 years ago we paid off our mortgage. However, my spouse and I had a little mortgage burning party ourselves and it is not something I have even discussed with anyone else.
As for people talking about debt, etc. Most people just like to jaw about the gas prices, cost of this that or the other thing, etc. I just view it as conversation and either nod sympathetically or may grouse along with them about the price of gas or whatever.

[Ima saver]

I have never minded discussing finances with other people. I think part of the problem is that people don't discuss finances and most don't have a clue on how to invest their money.
I know I didn't when I was younger, because no one talked about it. I think it should be talked about a lot more.

[disneysteve]

I have never minded discussing finances with other people. I think part of the problem is that people don't discuss finances and most don't have a clue on how to invest their money.
I know I didn't when I was younger, because no one talked about it. I think it should be talked about a lot more.

I totally agree. I think many of the money problems in our society would vanish if people were more open about personal finance. The whole "keeping up with the Joneses" problem would fade if you found out that the Joneses earned 4 times more than you or were drowning in debt. You wouldn't be so inclined to try and keep up at that point. That's what is so great about boards like this.

[jIM_Ohio]

Discussing finances, IMO, is OK if the people discussing have similar goals or problems.

If one had a different philosophy than another, the person may come across as an evangelist.

[Ima saver]

disneysteve, I totally agree. Since we moved here and started building houses (23 years ago)I have been shocked at the "Jones" we have built for. People that made so much money in their jobs, but were in debt up to their eyebrows.
We built once for a doctor that leased 7 different vehicles while we were building his house. His wife went shopping at the mall every single day!!

[Aleta]

It's a good rule not to give advice unless it's asked for. Many of us have this problem because we see where others are having financial difficulties and we know that we could help them. Truth is that they haven't asked us for help and it's not up to us to try to convince or to fix them. I have talked to my older son about the PMI insurance thing knowing that he could save himself money but they don't want to listen. I wish that my family had taken the time to have shared with me any wisdom that they had about finances. I think that I would have listened.

[Ima saver]

i know I would have. I wish someone had explained to me about investing, mutual funds, stocks, etc. I would have started investing much earlier, instead of in my 40's. My best friend has asked me for advice many times, but when I try and get her to save money, she says they don't have anything left over to save and invest.