Does this sound familiar?

[Ima saver]

bjl, I have someone on another forum that is always telling me I can't take it with me. I keep saying, I don't want to, I just want to be comfortable while I am here.[Automated by GetSmile]

[Aleta]

Ima: I think that it's great that you even started in your forties. I did too. Don't you think that's why we know that we don't have forever to save so we just do it. Many people will ask for advice but, they only want to hear what they want - the easy way out. They don't want to clip coupons, check out CD rates.

[jIM_Ohio]

you can lead a horse to water... you cannot force it to drink.

When I have questions, I ask.
If others have questions, I answer (or try to, anyway)

every once in a while I state some opinions to make people think hard and face the truth.

I do not volunteer advice. When it is not welcome that could sever the friendship or worse... No reason to create friction with my friends... that what boards like this are for.

Family and money do not mix. I will not hire family or use a lawyer/doctor from within family... but I will ask for referrals from family in same situation.

[Ima saver]

Yes, Aleta, I do agree. The reason I started late is that I knew nothing. I even went to our little library to look up books on investing, and there were not any.
I finally bought a money magazine and learned about mutual funds thru that. Then I sent off for dozens of prospectus' before opening my first mutual fund with $50!!
I mentioned to one of the bank officers that I had opened a mutual fund for my granddaughter. The bank officer had never heard of a mutual fund. This was about 1988!!

[Aleta]

Also, you can't rent a house to family. They take advantage. My son is an accountant and I use someone else. I think that's best for him and us. We do have quesions and he answers what he can. He doesn't think anything about the fact that we have another person who we have had for 30 years now. The less your family knows about your business, the better. Why do they need to know about your finances? How is that information going to help them?

[Ima saver]

If I had competent children that I was going to leave my money too, I think I would let them know about my finances if they were interested.
In my case, I do not have any competent children to leave money to.

[Aleta]

My Step-Father bless his heart and is deceased now wanted to let my sister and brother know that he had enough money to care for my Mom. Well, that was the worst thing he could have told them. They have both bothered my Mom to death. The brother has about wiped her out. For years they didn't really know anything. All of a sudden, my sister asked my Mom for her share of the estate while my Mom was living. My sister said that she needed the money today not tomorrow. Also, it's a good idea to listen to your kids to see how they talk about others wealth to see how they will look at yours.

[Ima saver]

Aleta, I have an adopted daughter. I helped her out a lot when she got married, even bought her a house and cars. I paid all her bills for years because of her children. I finally just had to quit giving her money. Now, that is the only time I hear from her is when she is asking. I just say no.
She will never get or job or be able to handle money.
You can't always teach by example.

[kv968]

I have never minded discussing finances with other people. I think part of the problem is that people don't discuss finances and most don't have a clue on how to invest their money.
I know I didn't when I was younger, because no one talked about it. I think it should be talked about a lot more.

I agree. I don't mind talking finances with people. As a matter of fact I think some people at work wish I would shut up about it sometimes Granted, people don't need to know every nickel and dime you have or what you're spending it on, but a general discussion doesn't seem out of line to me.

One thing I have noticed though, at least with some co-workers, is that they're somewhat embarrassed about their lack of knowledge with financial things. The group I work is practically an extended family (for better or worse) due to the amount of hours we put in together so talking about peronal things isn't that uncommon. However I notice whenever financial matters (ie. investments, 401k, etc...) come up, people will just nod their heads like know what's going on when with others, but when alone will sheepishly ask me if I would mind "taking a look at what they have going on." I'm no expert but I do give them my opinion and try to explain some of it to them to the best of my ability (note: they asked me for my advice. As stated by others, giving advice when not asked can be a problem). I just think if all things financial weren't such a "taboo", people wouldn't be as scared to ask for advice or opinions.

[Aleta]

Believe it or not, they are watching you. In the past when I was very active in school with my kids; my husband and I did things most people couldn't. If there was a long-distance trip because of some event - we made that our vacation. You just have to live your life in front of them. They know that there's something different about you and some will ask questions. If we had had a large mortgage payment or deep into credit card debt, we could have never done what we did. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

Ima: Don't worry. You did your best with your daughter. To some kids you'll never be able to do enough for them. You're only as good as the last thing that you did for them. At least you learned early enough to take charge of the situation. My Mom learned after my step-fathers death and she was a very co-dependent person which set her up for the situation. That's another thing too. You have to be careful of co-dependent people because they will use you up if you let them.

[bjl584]

Thanks for all the responses. I'm glad to know that I'm not all alone. In case anyone is wondering, no I don't go around broadcasting financial advice to my coworkers. It's more that they are aware of it than that I talk about it. For instance, I showed up at work a couple years ago with a new car. The first thing people want to know is how much is the payment. When I tell that that there is no payment because I paid cash for it, they were a bit taken back by it. That concept is basically unheard of to most people. I guess I should have lied and just threw a number out. Oh well, I learned a lesson that day.

[Ima saver]

bjl, I know what you mean. we held the mortgage on a piece of land in florida. I was shocked when I got a big pay off check many many years before it was due. When I told them at work, everyone said, "what are you going to buy" They about fell over when I told them I was going to save it all. (and I did)

[Aleta]

Sometimes the best way to reply to a question about how much the payment is to say " for about x dollars down you can get a payment for x dollars a month. You basically know what kind of payment you would have had. If they ask if this is what you pay, just say I didn't say it was what I paid - you asked me how much the payment was. I guarantee you that they will get the clue.

[JoyJoy]

Man was created to live and be happy with woman and to procreate and enjoy this world. We were created to live forever. Scientists say the human body is so intricately made that no one should ever die. I say this to say, people who have a desire to live the good life by saving and having no debt and enjoying the finer things in life are only reaching for that abundant life that the Father intended for them. He intended a good life for everyone. Some people just don't feel they are entitled to it and hate those who do feel entitled.

Just MHO and $100.00 worth

[bjl584]

Man was created to live and be happy with woman and to procreate and enjoy this world. We were created to live forever. Scientists say the human body is so intricately made that no one should ever die. I say this to say, people who have a desire to live the good life by saving and having no debt and enjoying the finer things in life are only reaching for that abundant life that the Father intended for them. He intended a good life for everyone. Some people just don't feel they are entitled to it and hate those who do feel entitled.

Just MHO and $100.00 worth

Interesting perspective. Jealousy does consume all doesn't it?