Advice on how to get off the Debt

[Gailete]

You are welcome. I've been in enormous debt at one point in my life and had to take some very drastic measures, one of which was divorcing my husband as he would not could not stop spending.

[tripods68]

You need to see a Therapist.

[tdi200]

You need to see a Therapist.

I will when I get the debt settled down/ be on a plan as of current moment I cant afford a therapist

[Gailete]

You need to see a Therapist.

That is just rude. The poster came here for help with his finances, not for recommendations to see a therapist. I highly doubt that everyone on this board has never done anything that they might be ashamed of, he just admitted it because it was the cause of one of his big money drains.

[tdi200]

So i was thinking about consolidation of loan and have one payment only i dont know if any of you have ever used freedom debt relief if they are legit or not

[disneysteve]

So i was thinking about consolidation of loan and have one payment

You do not want to roll a bunch of small debts into one big debt. As it is now, each time you pay off a debt, that payment goes away. With consolidation, you lock yourself in to one higher payment for the full duration of the debt. Keep the flexibility you have now. Focus on paying off one debt at a time aiming for the highest interest rate first and working your way down. Each time you pay one off, add that payment to the next one.

[Gailete]

I agree with Steve. Yes, it means a lot of smaller debts to pay off, but it gives you much more freedome with individual loans. You should call each lender and tell them you are in trouble financially and are going to work agressively to pay off your bills and ask if they can put a hold on any more interest or give you a lower interest rate to help you be more able to pay off each loan. Some lenders might be agreeable, not all. BUT....You have to stop charging and start living on cash alone.

[tdi200]

Thank everyone on top of that i am looking for a full time 2nd job that i can push upto 80 hrs a week, my main problem is the avant loan which is 928 a month calling freedom debt relief calculated me 500 a month for 3 years and telling me i will be debt free that is combining all the credits cards into 1, but what i am scared is not getting into legal issues of getting sued as i believe if i join with freedom debt relief, all the minimum payments which i have been doing will be stopped that will make all my credit balance not be current as they are right now

[Fishindude77]

That will be a smart move, picking up additional work.
Take action, don't wait for the perfect 2nd job to drop in your lap. Anything right now is better than nothing, even if it's only a few hours per week.

[Ruthdavis]

Don't spend on girls

You don't really need to spend on girls/escorts. Save that money instead. You can try to file for bankruptcy if you want especially for that amount of debt. Is that something you think you can consider?

[Gailete]

You don't really need to spend on girls/escorts. Save that money instead. You can try to file for bankruptcy if you want especially for that amount of debt. Is that something you think you can consider?

I have a real problem with those who have had their jollies and when they can no longer keep up paying for them, file for bankruptcy. It is only a bandage with no real solution. Considering what the money has been spent on, why should the companies that loaned him the money be left holding the bag and it increases costs for all of us.

I worked with a woman that charged and charged and charged on things like going to gamble at Niagara Falls, expensive meals out, and even detailing her car at $50 a crack rather than clean it out herself. Right before she filed for bankruptcy, she went out and charged and entire summer wardrobe! After the bankruptcy, she of course had no credit card and as our work required travel, her sister loaned her a credit card to use. She had racked up all sorts of bills on it in no time. Then she volunteered to get the boxes birthday present. She received cash from us with the expectation that she would buy the gift. Then the day before gift giving day, the cat was let out of the bag, she had spent the cash and not on the gift. Were we supposed to chip in all over again or what? The thing is she hadn't gone bankrupt due to things like heavy medical bills. She padded her expenses to get bigger paycheck because she knew the box didn't keep a close eye on it. She had gone bankrupt by living way above her means and wouldn't quit. We all made the same amount of money at the job only she also got child support checks. I didn't and she could never understand how I could get by on what we got paid. Well I had taught myself to live on my income.

Bankruptcy should be for those who truly had some major financial problem, not those who just have lived a thoroughly spoiled lifestyle.

The original poster has not been back it seems to this thread, but I still think he would feel better about himself and it would be better for him to pay this off himself if at all possible.

One of the things that puzzles me about his situation is how he and his mother were allowed to come to the US and apparently establish residency when his mom can't work or support herself while he was only 20 at the time, and his income isn't that good to be supporting him and her. I thought immigrants coming from places like the UK were expected to be able to fully support themselves without being a drain on our society. His mother is sickly from the sounds of it and so how is she/he paying for the medical bills?

[Randomsaver]

Gailette, I read your comments and you are one of the more sensible posters here.

I too find it ludicrous that some suggests bankruptcy as a strategy. I always believe you only do it because you have no other alternative, such as welfare.

OP is on a right track for changing his life by coming here and opening up. I did not understand another person's post about "nobody admits doing prostitutes" but the fact is, internet is the best way to express this as people may remain anonymous, unlike in seeing therapists and going to group helps like AAA, where people actually see your face.

To the OP, post here regularly of your updates. That's one way how the site helps. By having to report your updates here, it can make you feel accountable and helps in getting more responsible in your decisions.

I'm one of those that this site helped in my life. I could have spent my extra money in useless things and no one else will know but by reporting my debt balance here regularly, it kept me straight in paying the extra towards the principal instead.

[saver17]

You don't really need to spend on girls/escorts. Save that money instead. You can try to file for bankruptcy if you want especially for that amount of debt. Is that something you think you can consider?

I was guilty of that myself and would spend money for female visitors all the time. Then I realize how much money I was wasting

[Gailete]

Gailette, I read your comments and you are one of the more sensible posters here.

Thanks for your kind words. I think I'm older than many here and seen a lot of water go over the damn so to speak. I've been poor and not so poor but never 'rich'. I know what huge credit card debt can do to a family, a marriage, etc. Just about since the internet was new I have gone to many different saving money types of forums. I have seen some things very consistently. One of the ones that I have seen is that some speak the talk but can't or won't walk the walk. Families that have no money for groceries but refuse to give up their cable TV. I can't even comprehend that. Or those that insist that everyone in the house have a cell phone for 'safety'. Okay I can understand their theory on that, but not the practicality of not being able to meet the mortgage because of several hundred dollars worth of cell phone bills each month

Too many these days can't separate their actual needs from wants. To many kids are spoiled rotten compared to generations growing up in the early part of the 1900's through the 1950's. I remember my first Barbie doll only it wasn't a real Barbie when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. It was a generic one. what made it really special was all the Barbie clothes my mom had made from scraps for my sister and myself. It was the only Barbie doll I ever had. How many little girls do you know that only have one Barbie or one of anything? I remember once my mom had visited my step-dad's grandchildren and the girls were literally walking on their dolls and toys they had so many that they covered the floor! What kid needs that sort of amount of toys? How do they learn creativity when everything is handed to them?


I've worked hard for what I have and I've been supporting myself since I was 17 including working my way through college. The most astounding words to my ears when I got to college (that required ALL students put in 4 hours of work a week to keep costs down). Here I was 17 and was happy to do my share and one of the girls announced to the whole cafeteria "My father didn't send me to college to learn to be a waitress!" I was very happy that a few more voiced the same opinion so I was picking up extra work left and right and eventually worked my way up to about 16 hours/week plus babysitting and typing term papers for cash money to use the laundry and buy toothpaste. I don't know what happened to that girl, but I graduated completely paid off and with the self-esteem of accomplishing my goal and I had picked up many skills as well.

Sorry, need to get off my soapbox. Debt is no fun. Being poor isn't particularly fun, but living simply can make for a much more peaceful life without ulcer stress of wondering how the bills would be paid. My only ulcer came at the end of a 4 year marriage that the ex would spend until charge cards were full and the minimum payments were more than the mortgage!

[tdi200]

Sorry for being quite for a while as I had stopped going to this forum after seeing how badly I was judged and criticized but I finally came to realize it really don’t matter since am behind a computer and none of you guys will ever know me in person.
Above all I would like to thank “Gailete” for being EXTREMLY detailed and understanding in my entire situation you truly are good person I appreciate everything you advised me on.
Bankruptcy is something that I am totally against (if that’s the case I would rather do one payments by consolidating all credits cards into one and have one monthly payments) I do not see any means going bankruptcy route as allot of people on here also said it’s not a solution as If I go that route and over the years I will be in the same situation and will do it again.

Lots of people Forgot to mention that I had taken $10,000 from my mom accounts since her account is joined with mine and I never told her about me taking that money. I was more concerned about it than my own debt that guilt hurts allot trust me. But with power of prayers I was able to tackle that problem since I been working at same company for over 6 years I do have a co-worker that cares and she let me claim one of her child in my taxes since she got 4 kids and my tax return was $7000 that included state as well. I claim 0 on my taxes, and I had 5000 from my 401k from previous job and I withdraw that money as well. So I gave $10,000 back to my mom took her to the bank and made her own checking bank account so that I can never ever touch that money back. It was huge relief I was able to give her money back. The rest $2,000 I have left with will be used for property tax $1700 and for home owners insurance is around 1500 which I will be able to pay using my current salary. But overall it was a relief I was able to return back my mothers money I remember I was judged as a thief in these comments but yes with grace of gods help I was able to get money and give her back. And thanks so much to the person who let me claim the kid I was scared I might get audited but I did not I filed taxes online using Turbo Tax with audit defense and got refund in less than 2 weeks.

When it comes to spending money on ESCORTS I have stopped my last visit to an escort was on NOVEMBER 11 2016 ever since that date I have not visited any escorts.
And for Job I still working on 2 jobs paying the minimum payments on credit cards but my home bills are always paid on time