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How a Polygamous Relationship Can Impact Your Finances

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polygamous relationship

Finances can be complex in any relationship. Even when they just involve two adults. However, when you add a third, fourth, or even more partners to the mix, things can quickly become even harder to manage.

The presence or lack or primary partners – a relationship that is given priority over the others – can play a factor. Additionally, if there are any children. Whether the partners live together or separately also impact the financial side of the relationships.

If you are wondering about the financial ramifications of having multiple partners. Here is an overview of the kinds of relationships that exist. Also, here are some of the complexities that come along with them.

Bigamy vs. Polygamy vs. Polyamory

Many people confuse the terms “polygamy,” “bigamy,” and “polyamory,” using them interchangeably. However, while a polygamous relationship is polyamorous and may involve bigamy. A polyamorous relationship is not necessarily polygamous or have anything to do with bigamy.

Bigamy involves attempting to legally marry more than one person. In the US, bigamy is illegal. A person can only be legally married to one other person. Bigamy is a form of polygamy.

Polygamy is also illegal in the US. Polygamy can occur when a person enters into a relationship that is treated as a marriage. This occurs while they have a marriage-like relationship with someone else. A polygamous relationship could involve two people who are legally married.  As well as a third or more people who they treat as spouses, even if they have not attempted to marry them legally. This means polygamy may or may not also involve bigamy.

In general, polygamy was made illegal because of common law marriage statutes in various states. In a common law marriage, a relationship can have legal rights and protections similar to an actual marriage. Even if they pair never obtained a marriage license or got legally married. If more than two people live as married, then they could all be deemed part of a common law marriage. This type of marriage is not legal.

Polyamory is different. It is simply a form of nonmonogamy. This may not involve any marriages, either legal, common law, or otherwise.

While romantic relationships may exist between more than two people in polyamory. Each relationship is not necessarily treated as a marriage. For example, a woman may be legally married to one partner while having another partner who is treated like a boyfriend or girlfriend. Alternatively, a woman may not be married at all. She may choose to maintain romantic relationships with more than one partner.

Polyamory is not illegal as long as the relationships don’t transition into a polygamous or bigamous state.

The Financial Implications of a Polyamorous Relationship

Handling finances while being part of a polyamorous relationship can be complex, but also highly varied. One of the biggest factors in how things are handled tends to be cohabitation and whether any two people are married or living as such.

Cohabitation can mean that certain costs need to be split. For example, sharing a portion of the rent or mortgage payment responsibility may be necessary. Similarly, utilities, cable, and internet costs might be managed collectively.

However, even if two members are married or living as married, they may choose to maintain separate bank accounts to manage their income. Comingling finances is not a requirement of marriage, and a separation may make things easier to manage between primary partners and any additional relationships they maintain.

Often, if a couple is married and polyamorous, and choose to comingle their finances, then it’s wise to budget for expenditures on other partners. This can help set limits on how much each person can spend on their other relationships, ensuring enough money is available to handle joint obligations.

Cohabitating Couples

Alternatively, a cohabitating primary couple may choose to maintain a joint bank account for shared financial responsibilities and separate accounts for their spending. This can function similarly to the budgeting approach for entirely comingled finances, but may provide for some additional privacy.

In some cases, members of polyamorous relationships may choose not to cohabitate, even if they maintain a primary relationship. In these scenarios, each individual may be solely financially responsible for their homes, bills, and finances. This means joint budgeting isn’t necessary, and each person can spend what they like based on their needs and preferences.

There is also nothing to say that every member of a larger polyamorous relationship couldn’t cohabitate together. However, this can make it hard to maintain a legal separation between polyamory and polygamy, particularly in states where common law marriage exists.

Often, this means that strict financial boundaries may need to be in place. For example, sharing a bank account between more than two members of the relationships, or having multiple two-person accounts with different partners, could blur the legal lines. Additionally, estate planning can be complex if you wish to leave something to non-primary partners.

Understand State Laws

Ideally, anyone in or considering a polyamorous relationship should review their state’s laws regarding common law marriage and polygamy. That way everyone can understand what actions may cross into the polygamous arena, allowing all members to avoid any legal penalties for the relationships.

It may also be wise to consult with a lawyer for estate planning or large joint financial purchases, such as a house, as they may be able to provide guidance to ensure no legal boundaries are incidentally crossed.

The Financial Implications of a Polygamous Relationship

A polygamous relationship can come with all of the financial challenges of a polyamorous relationship and then some. First, since polygamy is illegal, there are potential legal costs that can occur in regards to the relationship’s existence. For example, lawyer and court fees may be expenses that must be managed.

Additionally, in polygamy, more than one relationship is treated like a marriage. This could mean multiple partners all cohabitating and sharing the responsibilities of managing the household, or that some parties are full members of multiple households.

Setting multiple budgets may be necessary to manage a polygamous relationship. This is regardless of how many people earn an income. If there is more than one physical home. Anyone who is part of multiple households may have to divide their income. Everyone must pull their weight, which can complicate the financial aspects of the relationships.

If everyone cohabitates, a single budget may be sufficient. However, spending limits on non-household expenses is necessary to keep everyone financially on track.

The Complexity of Estate Planning

Estate planning will also be complex if everyone cohabitates in a home at least one party owns. Especially, since more than one relationship is treated as a marriage. This is one of the reasons polygamy is illegal, as the legal complexities are hard to navigate. However, with an estate plan, certain issues are resolved. But, if one party chooses to fight against the plan at the time of one family member’s death, it may not be easy to reach a resolution.

Ultimately, polygamous and polyamorous relationships do come with financial impacts. By openly communicating and planning, it is possible to come up with viable solutions. These are solutions that work for a person’s lifestyle. However, if the relationship is legally polygamous; there are numerous hurdles along the way. It’s wise to avoid crossing into that territory.

Do you have something to add to the information above? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Can You Afford an August Wedding?

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August wedding

The average wedding in the US costs an astonishing $33,391. In some locations, the price tag for getting married can be substantially higher. For example, in Manhattan, the average amount is over $76,000. Whether you can afford an August wedding depends on a variety of factors, including, but not limited to, how much you have in savings, the venue you select, and the number of guests.

If you’ve been planning your August wedding for some time, you may be ready for the costs that come with the occasion. However, if you are recently engaged and want to get married quickly, you may have to make some adjustments to the celebration to make it affordable.

City and Venue For An August Wedding

Where you decide to hold your wedding plays a big role in the total cost. Typically, the venue is the single largest expense a couple handles, averaging about $15,000.

However, you also have a substantial amount of control when it comes to managing location costs. For example, getting married in the courthouse, city clerk’s office, or a family member’s backyard is substantially cheaper.

In New York City, a marriage ceremony in the city clerk’s office is just $25. However, you won’t be able to customize the space or invite a lot of guests to witness the occasion.

Certain nontraditional locations can also be fairly low-cost. For instance, if your city has a beautiful library, local theater, or public park, those might not be overly expensive. A zoo or aquarium can be a fun choice and might be more affordable.

University campuses often have amazing architecture and may have other picturesque features like fountains that could create amazing backdrops. Plus, since the campus typically isn’t as busy during the summer season, you might be able to score a deal on an August wedding and not have to worry about students interrupting the ceremony.

Décor and Flowers

Another substantial expense is the décor and flowers. If you need to bring in tables and chairs or otherwise want to decorate the space, that all comes with a price tag.

You can limit the amount you spend in a few different ways. For instance, if you have a small wedding with only close friends and family members in attendance, you can limit the number of tables and chairs you need.

Similarly, choosing flowers that are in season can cut down on the cost as well as embracing “filler” blooms and foliage that are more affordable. If you decide to get married outdoors, you might even be able to forgo buying additional flowers beyond your bouquet if the nearby landscaping is attractive.

Certain décor items are relatively inexpensive if you shop in the right places. Retailers like Walmart and various dollar stores often have candles, candle holders, and vases at low prices. You can also find affordable decorative glass gems to put in clear jars or on tables in a range of colors, letting you add some shine and sparkle to your décor.

In some cases, the venue may have all of the décor you need. Many hotels provide tables and chairs with their rooms, so the expense is rolled into the price. Parks may have gazebos or halls that have tables and chairs available as well.

Photographers

Most couples want pictures on their wedding day, but many don’t anticipate how much a professional photographer costs. While it may be tempting to forgo the service entirely, especially since smartphones have reasonable cameras, you might run the risk of not having the ideal pictures if you don’t work with someone who truly knows how to capture a wedding.

However, that doesn’t mean you can’t keep this cost down. For example, you can explore only using a professional photographer during the ceremony itself. Then, create a website or email address where guests can send you images from the reception.

Wedding Attire

Full-length bridal gowns, tuxedos, and bridesmaid dresses all come with price tags. It isn’t uncommon for the bride to spend at $1,500 on a dress, though more expensive options are certainly available.

If you want to make your August wedding more affordable, then consider some alternatives to buying all of the attire. Bridesmaid dresses and tuxedos or suits are usually available for rent, which can cost substantially less than buying. Forgoing an extravagant bridal gown for something simpler can also help you save, as additions like beading and lace typically cause a dress to cost more.

Since you are holding an August wedding, you may want to consider a lighter weight dress that is appropriate for the season, especially if your ceremony or reception is outdoors. Temperatures are high during this time of year, so layers of satin, silk, or chiffon may increase the odds that you’ll overheat, and no one wants to be uncomfortable on their wedding day.

Food and Drink

Hors d’oeuvres, dinners, Champagne, and the cake are common wedding-related expenses that you need to consider. If you decide to have the event catered, the cost can come out around $70 per person, which adds up quickly.

If you need to keep the cost down, you do have options. First, forgo an open bar, which can quickly get expensive. You can choose to have a Champagne toast or simply limit the number of drinks, making it easier to control the cost.

Choosing a buffet dinner option over individual entrees may also be less expensive. Similarly, avoiding steak and seafood and offering chicken or pasta dishes instead might bring the price tag down.

You can also adjust the timing of your wedding so that a full meal isn’t expected. For example, a mid-afternoon or late evening event may make just providing hors d’oeuvres sufficient.

Additionally, limiting the number of guests can make controlling this expense even easier no matter what you want to offer. Feeding 30 is substantially less expensive than 100, so keeping your guest list small can make your August wedding more affordable.

Can’t Afford the Wedding You Want?

If you have a dream event in mind and an August wedding this year is simply unaffordable, then you do have a few options. If you need to get married quickly, consider getting married at the courthouse this year and then scheduling a vow renewal on your one-year anniversary with all of the bells and whistles.

In situations where you have more time, you can always choose another month or year to get married. There is no hard-and-fast rule regarding how long an engagement can last, so don’t hesitate to pick a date that works for your pocketbook if the need arises.

Are there other costs couples should consider when planning an August wedding? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.

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The Billion-Dollar Divorce, and What You Can Learn From It

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In our reality TV age, there are many billion dollar divorce lessons we can learn, without spending a penny.

billion dollar divorce lessons
“One of the greatest destroyers of wealth is divorce.” — Robert G. Allen

Many of us are keyed into the lives of our favorite celebrities, and we make note of their offscreen dramas even more closely than we follow the characters they portray.

And since the source of all drama is conflict, we pay particularly close attention to celebrity divorces. Maybe it’s schadenfreude, a glee in watching titans of industry melt down thanks to love gone wrong, or maybe watching the super-rich being brought low through relationships with the wrong person makes us feel less alone in some of our own bad romantic decisions.

Most Expensive Divorce Settlements of All Time

billion dollar divorce lessons
The Wildsteins, in happier times.

Some of the most expensive divorces have resulted in billion dollar payouts.

  • Socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein made headlines recently for her Catwoman-style attack on fashion designer boyfriend Lloyd Klein. But she made her biggest splash in 1999, thanks to her decidedly un-amicable divorce from billionaire businessman Alec Wildenstein. Her settlement included a payout of a whopping $2.5 billion, as well as an additional $100 million for each of the next 13 years. She also sold the estate she shared with him for an additional $13 million.
  • Rupert Murdoch has lost a fair amount in multiple divorces. His second wife Anna Torv was awarded $1.7 billion, mostly in Newscorp stock, when their 31-year marriage was annulled. And Wendi Deng, whom Murdoch married 17 days after his divorce from Torv, got to keep the $44 million apartment they shared after their amicable divorce in 2013.
  • Oil tycoon and Donald Trump hanger-on Harold Hamm paid just shy of $1 billion to ex-wife Sue Ann Hamm. (Considering the lack of pre-nuptial agreement, this was considered far less than she could have taken in the agreement.)
  • Hotel mogul Steve Wynn‘s fifty-year relationship with ex-wife Elaine Wynn had remained startlingly cordial through two divorces. Although they were able to divvy up their considerable art collection without a fuss, Elaine turned to litigation to retain her control of $1 billion in Wynn Resorts stock, finally souring the peace of their long and close relationship.
  • Former Forumla One CEO Bernie Ecclestone divorced his third wife, former model Slavica Radić, in 2009, for which she received a $1 billion payout. But the couple’s finances turn out to be freakishly complex, as he has been receiving $100 million per year from her assets.
billion dollar divorce lessons
Bernie and Slavica Ecclestone, in happier times.

Billion Dollar Divorce Lessons

These dollar amounts are staggering, obviously, and feel light years away from our own day-to-day lives.

Indeed, being in love with our soulmates and gearing up to get married, we may feel that our own emotional lives are untouchable by this degree of conflict and this level of financial repercussions.

What makes these divorces so fraught and messy is the number of assets involved in each. If two people simply decide they’ve grown apart, that’s one thing. But if they’ve built a life together that includes children, pets, and assets (homes, cars, businesses, and so on) then that’s where things get complicated.

The No-Fault Divorce

Unlike the examples cited above, many couples who have simply grown apart can opt for a no-fault divorce. If the couple don’t have assets to divvy up and simply want out, they need only cite “irreconcilable difference” or “incompatibility.” Each state will handle it differently, but after a period of living apart the state will grant the couple a no-fault divorce.

The Dreaded Prenup

Doesn’t that abbreviation (for “prenuptial agreement”) sound ghastly?  In simplest terms a prenuptial agreement is a contract by which a couple determines division of property and funds in the event of a divorce.

We’ve previously given you a list of reasons why signing a prenuptial agreement is a good idea, but admittedly it’s a difficult thing to discuss, particularly in the early, rose-colored days of a relationship.

It can be challenging to convey that such agreements are worthwhile for both parties in a relationship. And it’s actually no guarantee of cut-and-dried legal proceedings during a potential divorce.

billion dollar divorce lessons
This prenup must have cost a fortune.

Put It In A Trust

If you really want to make sure your assets are protected from a potential divorce, put them in a trust.

Trusts aren’t just for funds: you can put all kinds of assets into a trust (including your home) and still be able to use them — possibly with reduced tax consequences to boot.

The legal paperwork for a trust will only set you back a couple hundred dollars, but that’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.

No Real Guarantees, Except One

Seriously, no one enters a legitimate marriage expecting it to end. Sure, some people might get married for ethically questionably reasons, but presumably few expect it to fail. But even for two perfectly compatible people, there’s no guarantee of happily ever after.

The only thing that is absolutely certain is this: It costs more to get divorced than to get married.

Even if you do a simple city hall wedding and realize after two years of thrifty living that you’re not compatible and get the easiest no-fault divorce, your legal fees for the latter are going to outweigh the costs of the former. (Don’t believe it? Go look up how much it costs to get a marriage license on your local government’s website, and then compare that figure with the divorce petition filing fee at your local family courthouse — it’s higher, right?)

“But hey,” you might argue, “my wedding is a deluxe, catered affair, which will surely cost more than a no-fault divorce. If you’re pulling out all the stops on a lush wedding ceremony (mazel tov, by the way), you’re determined to build a life with your partner.

That will include a comfortable home, children, multiple vehicles, and kids — all of which will later inspire divorce lawyers billing multiple hours (today that’s about $300 to $500 per hour if you don’t want to end up like the image at the top of this story) to disposition in the event your marriage becomes less perfect than you imagine.

A Final Thought

No judgement here, but if you want to ensure a blissful, litigation-free marriage, take a hint from the pattern evident in the pictures above: don’t marry someone old enough to be your father, no matter how rich he is — or, conversely, young enough to be your daughter, no matter how pretty she is. Just a thought.

Do you have any costly divorce stories to share? Have you found litigation-free bliss with a billionaire? Tell us all about it in the comments section beneath this post.

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Uh, Oh, Identity Theft by a Friend or Relative — What to Do?

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identity theft by a friend or relative

According to a 2018 survey, nearly 60 million Americans have dealt with identity theft at some point in their lives. While many people assume that strangers are the only threat, some people have their identities stolen by someone they know.

Since friends and family typically have access to intimate details about your life, it’s easier for them to accomplish identity theft than many would like to believe.

Being a victim of identity fraud is always hard, but, when the identity theft is by a friend or relative, the blow is crushing. Luckily, you can move forward from this event by following the steps below.

1. Get Your Credit Reports

One of the first things you need to do is review your credit reports from all three bureaus. The easiest way is through AnnualCreditReport.com.

The process is fairly easy. You’ll need to confirm your identity and request your report from each bureau. You’re entitled to one free credit report from each bureau per year.

2. Set up a Fraud Alert

You’ll also need to contact at least one of the three credit bureaus and add a fraud alert. This locks down your account for 30 days, during which time no one can open new credit in your name.

However, if you can provide a police report documenting the issue, you can get a longer-lasting fraud alert; alternatively, you could just set up a reminder on your phone to renew the alert every 30 days.

Even if you aren’t sure if you’re a victim yet, a fraud alert gives you time to sort out the situation safely.

3. Notify the FTC

While federal authorities only pursue larger cases, the FTC monitors all incidents of identity theft. Let the agency know about your situation by filling out an ID theft complaint and affidavit form.

Doing so helps the government spot patterns and find ways to create a more robust system.

4. Call Creditors

Once you know which companies have fraudulent accounts or activity, you need to reach out quickly. Ask to speak with their fraud department and let them know your identity was stolen.

You can request they close or freeze the accounts, ensuring no new charges will occur. In some cases, they’ll require an FTC identity theft report to document your case, so you want to handle that first.

5. Change Your Passwords

Regardless of whether you can confirm any fraudulent activity taking place using your identity or accounts, you’ll want to be proactive about security.

Change all of your online passwords, along with personal identification numbers associated with any cards you might have.

6. File a Police Report

The person who stole your identity isn’t automatically pursued by law enforcement. For that to happen, you need to file a police report.

Bring a copy of your FTC report along with your identification, proof of address (like a utility bill), and any evidence of the theft to your local police department and ask to file a report.

Once the report is complete, make a copy. That way, if a creditor requires that document, you have it available.

7. Monitor Your Credit Report

Signs of identity theft might not show up in any of your credit reports right away — so you’ll want to check them on a regular basis and follow up on anything you dispute.

Consider signing up for any of the free services that enable you to keep tabs on all three bureaus’ reports in one place.

Carefully read your credit reports to see whether any information changes and notify the bureaus of anything that’s amiss.

Provide them with a copy of your FTC identity theft report (if you haven’t done so already). Once they have this document, they have to block any new changes to your records.

8. Contact the Social Security Administration

In some cases, an identity thief uses a person’s Social Security Number to secure employment. If that happened to you, contact your local Social Security Office for assistance.

9. Watch for Crimes in Your Name

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon that an identity thief might supply your identifying information after being arrested for a crime.

This is why it’s a good idea to file that police report as soon as you learn of the identity theft — but if you learn of additional crimes being perpetrated with your contact information, you should file an additional report regarding the impersonation.

Provide law enforcement with copies of your ID, a photograph, and your fingerprints. Request that officers compare your information to the criminal’s and remove your name from the records once they confirm you didn’t commit the crime.

With each visit to the police department, make a point of recording the name and contact information of every officer you speak to while resolving the issue.

Request a clearance letter or certificate of release as well. This document says you were innocent. Keep the letter in a safe place.

10. Watch for Tax Theft

Be prepared for the possibility that the identity thief might try to file a fraudulent tax return on your behalf and attempt to claim your refund — file your taxes early so that no one else can horn in on what’s yours.

It’s also a good idea to complete an IRS identity theft affidavit to further prevent any would-be thief from claiming your return.

11. Watch for New Account Openings

Identity thieves may try to open new accounts in your name. They could be credit cards or utilities, for instance.

You can find a comprehensive list of steps to take in these scenarios at IdentityTheft.gov.

Identity Theft by a Friend or Relative

While you typically have to deal with a lot of red tape when trying to minimize the damage caused by identity theft, don’t take any shortcuts: You might not be able to see the full effects of this crime until it’s way too late — because someone who already knows you can cause a lot more problems than a stranger.

When the perpetrator’s a friend or relative, you really need to put in more effort to tamp out the crime. If you can stay the course and be thorough about following all of the steps listed above, you’ll eventually get it taken care of.

Readers, have you ever been a victim of identity theft or fraud — if so, what were your experiences in combatting it? If you haven’t experienced it, what sorts of things are you doing to protect yourself, if anything?

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Romancing Your Sweetheart on a Budget

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how to romance your sweetheart on a budget
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

This day is designed to celebrate love, and being so intensely connected and devoted to someone makes you want to buy them a fancy dinner, a show, and a beautiful set of jewelry. But maybe your budget allows for cheap fast food, Netflix, and fake jewelry from a mall kiosk.

Or maybe you’re just looking to mind your pennies and stick to your budget, but you still want to make that special someone feel, just that, special.

I’m here to help. Below are several tips on how to romance your sweetheart while sticking to your budget.

Cook a romantic dinner

Cooking your significant other a special dinner will pay off two-fold. One, it will save you a bunch of money on going out. And two, they will notice and appreciate how much work you put into the meal. It’ll make dinner even more special.

If you are looking to eat healthy this Valentine’s day, visit this post on how to eat healthy on a budget.

Give a full body massage

Once again, you are going to save loads of money on this. Massage parlors, especially good ones, will cost you a couple hundred bucks, easy. By giving the massage yourself, you save all that money, less the price of massage oil.

Like the dinner, your significant other will notice and definitely appreciate all your effort.

Pack a sunset picnic

If you live where it’s cold, hopefully, it’s warmer than normal. If you live in a warm climate, this will be perfect. A sunset is always a beautiful sight and is a wonder to watch with your love. Pack a picnic filled with their favorites to make them feel special.

If the weather sucks, watch the sunset from your car. Or you can try another tip from this list.

Leave love notes

This is free but will make them feel so special. Write cute things like what you love about them, something they do that you find endearing, or a special memory. It’ll make them feel good and won’t cost you a thing.

Take a walk

Walk through your neighborhood or through the local park hand in hand. I love walking around with my wife. It gives us a chance to talk, enjoy the weather, and enjoy each other’s company.

Visit special places from your past

I love this one. Go to the location of your first date, where you first kissed, where you proposed, or where you got married. You will both reflect on that special day and how much that day meant to one another.

Plus side of this, if you don’t go inside, it won’t cost a penny.

Snuggle and watch romantic movies

Long periods of intimate contacts, like cuddling, release the hormone oxytocin, which will lower your heart rate and reduce stress. Cuddling and watching a romantic movie will surely give you some quality time together. My wife’s two favorites are the Notebook and Love Actually. Give one of those a shot.

Slow dance to some romantic music

This music could be found on a Spotify or Pandora playlist, or it could be one that you both declared as your song. Pick a few songs, hold each other close, and enjoy the moment.

Write a love letter

This is also one of my favorites. I love writing, so putting pen to paper and telling my wife how I feel is something I try to do every few months. It gives you a chance to really let that special person know what they mean to you.

Find a fun and free local attraction

Look on the web for a free event or attraction that’s going on near you. It could be an event at the park or theater, or it could be free admission to the art museum. Make it something that you both enjoy.

Box up some memories

Find special items that you’ve kept over the years. Put them in a box, wrap it, and gift it. A nice touch, write a little note for each item about what it is, why it’s in there, and where it came from. They will love the thoughtfulness of this gift.

Burn a CD of shared favorite songs

This could be a song that the both of you enjoy together, it could be “your song,” or it could be a song that just makes you think of them. If there are a couple of slow songs in the mix, take her hand and dance with her during those.

Conclusion

Valentine’s Day can be a very special one, and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Sure, going to dinner and splurging on a nice gift would be nice, but it might not be as intimate, as thoughtful, or as special as using some of the tips in this post.

Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day. I hope it’s one to remember!

Why I Enjoy Being Poor

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Being Poor
If you had asked me a year ago if I would like being poor, I would have called you crazy. Both my husband and I had just lost our jobs and we were just coming to the realization that we were no longer going to be able to live the life of luxury that we had been living up until that point. In one fell swoop, we had gone from being able to afford basically anything we wanted to being poor.

I must admit that the first 6 months weren’t pretty. There was a lot of resentment and complaining deep inside that came out much too often. It wasn’t fair that I couldn’t have everything that I wanted or that I had to make sacrifices that I never had to make before. It was a rough period and there was a lot of shouting, accusing and bad attitude as we were adjusting to our new financial circumstances.

Why I Enjoy Being Poor

But a funny thing happened after that. Once we began to adjust to not having the money we used to have, being poor wasn’t nearly as terrible as I had imagined. In fact, there were times that I downright enjoyed it.

  • I get to spend more time with my family: Since we no longer have the money to pay for entertainment that used to occupy our time, we now entertain ourselves. That entertainment has come by spending more time together.
  • Life has slowed down: When we had a lot of money, there always seemed to be a rush about everything. We needed to go there, we couldn’tmiss that. The lack of money has made me (and my entire family) a lot more relaxed and easy going.
  • We have a lot more family projects: When we had money, we were more of a group of individuals that a family unit. We each did what we wanted and often ignored the other members of the family. Now that we are all required to stay home a lot more often than in the past, we have come together and do family projects. We recently repainted my daughter’s room together. In the past, we would have hired out this work to others.
  • We play a lot more games: We do play more games as a family like scrabble and cards, but we also turn a lot of the ways we save money into games. For example, we now have a contest where we see if we can cut the amount we pay on our utility bills each month. If we succeed, 50% of the savings we manage to save is used to go out for a meal, ice-cream or some other treat.
  • I now know our needs: I thought I knew our needs when we had money, but I had been greatly mistaken. Technology and habit blinded me from reality. The fact is that there is very little that we actually need: shelter, clothing, healthy food and water, a safe neighborhood. A lot of the gadgets and toys that I once thought I would die without turned out to not be necessary at all.
  • We eat better and together: Meals used to be on the run, usually prepackaged and often eaten outside the house. When we could no longer afford to do this, it was surprising how much better we began to eat. I cook a lot more from scratch and we have a lot more meals as a family unit than we used to.
  • We waste less: When I look back to when we had money, I am shocked at the amount that we used to waste. I didn’t think I was wasteful then, but now that we must use as much as we can, I realise that we were incredibly wasteful.
  • Life is more fun: I can honestly say that life is a lot more fun that it was when we had more money. There is a lot less stress now that we have learned to live with the amount that we make and knowing that even if we don’t have a lot of money, we can still get by.

This is not to say that I hope to always live this way. it can be tough being poor and having to make decisions about how to spend a limited amount of money that I would rather not. However, I do hope that when we are making more money and can afford a lot more than we can today that I can remember the new found attitude that I have and the joys that I may have never found had I never been poor.

This story was written by Maureen K.

Photo: CafeCredit.com