Dave Says: They Represent Security to Her

They Represent Security to Her

Dear Dave,
My wife and I have paid off all of our credit card debt, but she doesn’t want to follow your suggestion to cut up the cards and close the accounts. She wants us to keep the cards in a safe deposit box at the bank, and use them for nothing but emergencies. I think this has something to do with the fact she grew up in a poor family. We’re doing okay, but it makes me wonder if some part of her is afraid of being poor again. We both know this isn’t what you recommend, but what can I do to convince her we should get rid of the credit cards once and for all?
Geoff 

Dear Geoff,
Honestly, I’m not sure I’d approach this with the idea of convincing her of something. Under the circumstances, maybe it’d be a better idea to start off by having a gentle, understanding conversation, and talking things through.

I say this because one of the things you mentioned is that she grew up poor. In my mind, this could mean that the credit cards represent security for her. But, if you had $10,000 or so set aside for emergencies, you’d have the security of knowing that a transmission repair, or a new water heater wouldn’t really be an emergency—it’d be reduced to a minor inconvenience. On top of that, having an actual cash emergency fund sitting there would mean you wouldn’t have to go right back into debt again when something goes wrong.

There are lots of deep emotions involved in this situation, Geoff. Let her know you understand her concerns, and that you respect and sympathize with everything she has experienced. But also explain how financial security wouldn’t be disappearing by doing this. The credit cards would be replaced by your very own money. In addition, you’d also be substituting what the credit cards do with a debit card.

After this, ask her if there’s a reasonable amount you two could have in the bank that would make her feel comfortable, and take away the worry and stress. Talk it out, see if you can settle on an amount, and then agree that when you’ve saved and hit that number, the cards get cut up and you close the account.

You’ll have to be patient and understanding. Above all, you’ll have to communicate and work together as a team on this. But trust me, it’ll be worth it!
— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is a nine-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions. 

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert, and host of “The Ramsey Show.” He has appeared on “Good Morning America,” “CBS This Morning,” “Today,” Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth, and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO of Ramsey Solutions and is the author of numerous books including Baby Steps Millionaires: How Ordinary People Built Extraordinary Wealth–and How You Can Too.