Growing up poor shapes how you think about money, often in ways you don’t even realize. Whether it was watching your parents stress over bills, going without necessities, or being taught that money is always scarce, those early experiences leave a lasting imprint.
Even when you begin earning more or find stability as an adult, that childhood conditioning can creep back in. You might feel guilty spending money, anxious about saving it, or ashamed of wanting more. You may self-sabotage your finances or find yourself avoiding conversations about money altogether.
But here’s the truth: you’re allowed to feel safe with money. You’re allowed to want financial freedom. And you absolutely can unlearn the fear and shame that came with growing up in lack. Here are 10 practical and mindset-shifting ways to start getting more comfortable with money, no matter what your background looks like.
1. Acknowledge Where You Came From
The first step isn’t financial. It’s emotional. Give yourself permission to admit that growing up poor changed how you see money. Maybe you felt embarrassed asking for help. Maybe you picked up a habit of hiding your struggles or overcompensating.
By naming the experiences that shaped your relationship with money, you begin to separate your past from your present. You’re not broken. You’re just carrying beliefs that were built for survival, and now it’s time to update them.
2. Track Your Emotions Around Money
Most budgeting advice tells you to track expenses. That’s helpful, but also track your emotions around money. Notice how you feel when you check your bank account, spend on something non-essential, or talk about money with someone close to you.
Do you feel guilt? Panic? Shame? Avoidance? Awareness is power. When you start connecting the dots between your emotions and your money behaviors, you can begin to respond instead of react.
3. Redefine What Wealth Means to You
Growing up with little can make “wealth” seem like something that only belongs to other people. But wealth isn’t just about private jets or designer bags. It can mean stability, choice, generosity, or peace.
Write out what wealth means to you personally. Maybe it’s not worrying about rent. Maybe it’s taking your kids on vacation without debt. When you redefine wealth in your own terms, it becomes something attainable, not something abstract or reserved for “them.”
4. Build a Judgment-Free Budget
If budgets have always felt punishing to you, you’re not alone. Many people with financial trauma associate budgeting with scarcity or restriction. Flip the script by creating a judgment-free budget that gives you permission.
Budget for joy. Budget for rest. Budget for generosity. Instead of asking, “What can I cut?” ask, “What helps me feel supported and in control?” A good budget should reflect your values, not just your obligations.
5. Learn the Basics of Financial Literacy (Without Shame)
No one is born knowing how credit scores work or what a Roth IRA is. If you didn’t learn these things growing up, it’s not your fault, and you’re definitely not behind.
Start with small, consistent steps. Pick one financial concept a week and learn about it from a shame-free source (there are plenty of TikTok creators, podcasts, and books aimed at beginners). You don’t have to become an expert overnight. Just stay curious and kind to yourself as you go.
6. Practice Saying “I Deserve”
This one might feel awkward at first, but it’s powerful: start telling yourself that you deserve financial ease. You deserve savings. You deserve to earn good money doing work that doesn’t drain you.
Repeat it in the mirror. Write it on sticky notes. Say it when you open your banking app. The more you reinforce this belief, the less foreign it begins to feel.
7. Find a Money Mentor or Safe Community
It’s hard to grow financially if you feel like everyone around you either “gets it” or judges you. Look for a money mentor, coach, or online community that welcomes your background and offers guidance without condescension.
There are people who do understand what it’s like to grow up in poverty and who’ve built financial wellness from that place. Their stories can help you feel seen, inspired, and less alone on the path.
8. Give Yourself Permission to Enjoy
Spending money can be triggering when you grow up with very little. You might feel guilt even when you’re buying things you need, or small pleasures you’ve earned.
Remind yourself that joy and survival are not mutually exclusive. You’re not “bad with money” for wanting to treat yourself. In fact, small, intentional spending can be part of healing. Try setting aside even $10 a week for something that makes you smile.
9. Build an Emergency Fund, Even a Tiny One
The ultimate form of comfort with money? Knowing you’re covered in a crisis. Start with a goal of saving $100, then $500, then one month of expenses.
Your emergency fund doesn’t need to be big right away. What matters is that it exists. Every dollar you add chips away at the panic you may have carried since childhood and proves to your nervous system that you’re safe.
10. Celebrate Every Financial Win
If you’re used to survival mode, you may breeze past your own progress. Slow down and celebrate the wins: paying a bill on time, asking for a raise, saying no to an impulse buy, or just checking your bank account without dread.
Healing your relationship with money isn’t a straight line. It’s a series of small, brave moments that slowly build trust with your finances and with yourself.
Slow and Steady Wins The Race
Growing up poor doesn’t disqualify you from financial peace—it simply means your journey looks different. And that’s okay. Every time you choose to learn, budget, save, or spend with intention, you’re rewriting the script. You’re breaking cycles. And you’re proving to yourself that comfort with money is possible.
What’s one money habit or belief you’re working on unlearning from childhood? What’s helped you feel more at ease with your finances?
Read More
10 Things Poor People Do That Rich People Secretly Do Too
Why Poor People Are Tired of Hearing ‘Just Budget Better’
Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.
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