How do I get some spending under control?

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

With that much being spent on clothing, I would guess it is of high enough quality, fashionable enough, and worn little enough to be able to recoup some of the money through monthly re-sales. Perhaps a clothing consignment store or online sales would give her both the joy of happy new clothes and rerouting some of the spent money back into retirement (or more clothes).

[disneysteve]

With that much being spent on clothing, I would guess it is of high enough quality, fashionable enough, and worn little enough to be able to recoup some of the money through monthly re-sales. Perhaps a clothing consignment store or online sales would give her both the joy of happy new clothes and rerouting some of the spent money back into retirement (or more clothes).

Another option is using one of the online couture rental places when she needs an outfit for a special occasion that she probably won't wear again. One of my coworkers rented a dress for some fancy affair recently and loved doing that instead of spending the money to buy a similar dress.

[Fishindude77]

We don't track clothing spending, but that does seem a bit high, bet you could easily cut it 50%.

Dining out is a pretty easy one to reduce, just start packing snacks and lunches and stay the heck out of restaurants. Save your dining spending for the occasional nice date night.

[~bs]

1100/month for clothes is a lot. But I dont live in a seasonal area. Nor am I a female. :O IDK if saying that is politically correct.

I probably spend $300/year on clothes near christmas time. And that's forcing myself to replace work clothes and stuff.

My casual clothes i tend to wear into the ground, which is kinda bad i guess. So I started going thrift shop and buying "like new" clothes for a fraction of the cost of brand new and cycling out my old clothes.
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food is tough for a family of 4. $1800 is $450/person, which isn't that bad i guess. if you cut down on dining out, probably could chop it to 300/person pretty easily.

[disneysteve]

food is tough for a family of 4. $1800 is $450/person, which isn't that bad i guess.

It's not for 4 people. One kid is at college. One kid lives on her own. And corn is away Monday to Friday.

[TexasHusker]

1100/month for clothes is a lot. But I dont live in a seasonal area. Nor am I a female. :O IDK if saying that is politically correct.

I probably spend $300/year on clothes near christmas time. And that's forcing myself to replace work clothes and stuff.

My casual clothes i tend to wear into the ground, which is kinda bad i guess. So I started going thrift shop and buying "like new" clothes for a fraction of the cost of brand new and cycling out my old clothes.

Haha this is so true. I have a closet full of clothes, but only wear about 3 shirts. I gave a bunch to my brother in law. Like a trunk full.

My rule of thumb shopping for clothes: If it fits, buy it at once and get out.

[~bs]

It's not for 4 people. One kid is at college. One kid lives on her own. And corn is away Monday to Friday.

um, wow. i probably should refrain from commenting further if that's the case.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Well, about that food spending....I was thinking maybe it is grocery store spending and maybe it includes much more than food for basically just one person plus a weekend person. Flower bouquets? Potted plants and bedding plants for the patio, garden, front porch etc? Wine, beer, liquor? Makeup, deodorant, nail polich? Shampoo and other hair care? Laundry detergent, fabric softener, laundry scent booster, bleach, stain remover?

Kitchen, bath, and household cleaning products? Vitamins, minerals, and other food supplements? Seasonal decorating items such as garden flags, outdoor candles, wind spinners, patio furniture, market umbrellas, sunbrella chair cushions, St Patrick's Day green stuff, Fourth of July red-white-blue theme stuff, etc? Sports stuff such as team sweatshirts, ball caps, bobbleheads, beer mugs, stadium blankets, and cushions? Office supplies, furnace filters, disposable plates, cups, flatware? Gift wrap, ribbons, birthday cards, party decorations?

There is a lot for sale at the grocery stores besides food. If you are tracking it by the bottom line on receipts, or on a credit card that is used just for the grocery store, then you might not be seeing what the money really is buying.

[disneysteve]

There is a lot for sale at the grocery stores besides food.

That's a great point. How much of the "grocery" spending is for groceries? Our supermarket sells everything from greeting cards to motor oil.

If you really want to get a handle on things, start reviewing receipts, not just looking at the charges that show up on the credit card statement.

[scfr]

You are correct that those numbers are ... how can I put this delicately? ... high.

It's good to hear that you recognize that unhappiness may be at the root of your wife's spending. I'm sure the two of you will get that part of the equation figured out.

What I'll add is that in a way this sounds like a a good thing to me. No, I'm not crazy. It sounds like at last you have an opportunity to get your wife involved in the household finances! Let her be in charge. Whether it's asking her how much SHE thinks is reasonable for monthly food spending and annual clothes spending, or deciding on $xxxx amount for ALL variable household spending and then letting her decide where she wants to make tradeoffs, let her run the show.

A big part of budgeting is tradeoffs. She'll figure that out when she realizes that if she wants an extra tank of gas for running around it means cutting back somewhere else (turning the thermostat up a couple degrees to cut down on the A/C bill, or buying salad fixings instead of prepared salad from the deli). Or if she wants to buy a new shirt for one of the children that will mean waiting another 2 weeks longer before going to the hair dresser. Etc. Etc. Etc. To move money to Pile A you have to take it away from Pile B.

By all means help her if she asks for help, and give her positive feedback when she succeeds, but don't micromanage her. it kind of sounds like she needs a "job" and maybe this could be hers.

[TexasHusker]

Personal expenditures are relative. I know a fellow who spends $150K a year on family vacations. They normally travel by private jet and go to places that I could never afford. Monaco, Belize, French Alps.

But dude clears $5/6 mil a year. He’s spending a lot less of his income on travel than I am, and I’m flying on Southwest.

$1100 a month for some clothes may be a very small amount in corn’s situation. My guess is that it is.

[Like2Plan]

Corn,
I think it's great that you are tracking your pre-retirement expenses so carefully. That is going to help you a lot to decide whether or not you have reached your number.

It sounds like there are lots of different forces at work in this situation that may not be in play after you retire. Maybe after your move to Dallas you might have a clearer picture as to what your expenses will start to look like when you retire. (Although, I suspect maybe you will have more entertainment expenses that will go with your new role.)

Does your wife track your expenses, too? Have your told her what your retirement goal is? Does she have the same goal?

[disneysteve]

Personal expenditures are relative. I know a fellow who spends $150K a year on family vacations. They normally travel by private jet and go to places that I could never afford. Monaco, Belize, French Alps.

But dude clears $5/6 mil a year. He’s spending a lot less of his income on travel than I am, and I’m flying on Southwest.

$1100 a month for some clothes may be a very small amount in corn’s situation. My guess is that it is.

This is a fair point. Looking at absolute numbers never tells the whole story. Still, no matter how much you make or how much you save, you need to set your priorities and set a budget that you are comfortable with and it sounds like corn isn't comfortable with these amounts.

[scfr]

There is a lot for sale at the grocery stores besides food.

Right - I had a week this month where I spent $174 at the grocery store. But that included some personal care items and $100 added to the store GC. We use the store GC to buy gas (6% cash back for supermarket spending). So I spent $174 at the supermarket, but the majority of that was non-food spending.

[scfr]

This is a fair point. Looking at absolute numbers never tells the whole story. Still, no matter how much you make or how much you save, you need to set your priorities and set a budget that you are comfortable with and it sounds like corn isn't comfortable with these amounts.

And that is the point - Clearly corn18 is not happy with those numbers and feels the high spending is not in alignment with his retirement goals. The spending figures are way beyond what qualifies as "needs" - there is definitely room for cutting back if both partners are in agreement.